Archives for posts with tag: SuperBetter

I hadn’t really noticed I’d lost sight of ‘the future’ until I was inspired to plan on something a bit further along on my calendar – more than a year away. I’d been bouncing between past and present, working to hold myself firmly in the moment…and forgot about the future, more or less completely, which seemed odd once I noticed it.

I’m sipping my coffee this morning, feeling something sort of anxiety-ish, and recognized that I am actually excited, which is quite a different feeling. I find it hard to focus on things that matter less than this idea that hovers in the distance, still just a plan, and an intention. I am planning a solo hike in the Olympic National Park. I was inspired by a recent article about the quietest places that remain within reach, places where one can stand in stillness and not hear the sounds of humanity’s machines in the background. The Hoh Rainforest is one of them, apparently. I’m not sure the ‘where’ really matters at all. I could as easily be planning a solo hike in the Grand Canyon, or Death Valley, or the high desert of southern Oregon, or the Yukon wilderness…all remarkable places, all with wilderness within reach, all having that ‘remote’ quality that so often accompanies a sense of stillness. It is, rather obviously at the moment, the planning that matters most.

One detail of this fragile 'now'.

One detail of this fragile ‘now’.

There are actually quite a lot of places of beauty and wonder to see in the world. Seeing them before they are gone seems like a good idea. I’m not ready to do 2 weeks in the wilderness alone, quite yet, though – thus the valuable planning time, equipment testing time on shorter hikes and camping trips nearby, and study. Yes, I’ll actually be studying the trail, the history of the area, the local flora and fauna, reading trail reports from other hikers, looking at maps with great care, reading FAQs from the Forest Service… and daydreaming of a long long walk with a big big smile.

The map is not the world...

The map is not the world…

There’s a lot to consider. I enjoy the planning, and the anticipation, and the focal point on the horizon of my future…more than a year away. 15 miles down the trail would be a poor time to discover I forgot my bee sting kit… or didn’t break in my boots… or really can’t carry enough food for the trip… I’d rather get all of it worked out beforehand, as much as possible – to do literally my best planning to enjoy a great experience is the goal.

Small details sometimes have big impact.

Small details sometimes have big impact.

I had a notion to check on something small that matters to my self-care, and happily report that SuperBetter now has an Android app! I’ve been waiting for this – I’m not at my workstation at the best times/places to use SuperBetter most effectively. The Android app is a delightful upgrade there.

It’s funny that although all these things are important, something else that I finally understood more clearly soaked into my consciousness about communication, following a really enlightening conversation with my traveling partner yesterday morning before work. I hadn’t previously understood a basic concept of hierarchy in delivery of information that can be applied easily to spoken word, and although after-the-fact it seems odd that I hadn’t understood it (to the point of being vaguely embarrassing after more thought), it is an idea with power and value; deliver the highest level summary first. Answer the yes/no question with ‘yes’ or ‘no’. K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Stupid). It’s the listener’s opportunity to engage, and that is the fundamental starting point of conversation, shared interest, and connection. I have long tended toward verbosity. You probably already know that. 😉 I am eager to see where this new understanding may take me, and how it may affect my relationships.

Today is a good day to arrive at a new starting point, and begin again. Today is a good day to consider the future, too. Today is a good day to plan a journey – don’t forget to bring a map! Today is a good day to remember that the map, however detailed, however lovely, however accurate it may seem, is not the world.

Today got off to a difficult start, although it is limited to my own experience, very internal, entirely subjective.  I’m even ‘over it’, already. That’s something quite new. Like discovering anything new, the experience is edged with curiosity and uncertainty. New tools, new skills – a new experience.

How approachable I felt this morning. :-)

How approachable I felt this morning. 🙂

It’s nice to have choices. It’s wonderful to be able to use new tools, to really experience growth and the promise and potential in change. There’s not really a lot more to say about all that, just now. I’m relaxed and smiling, and readying myself for a day of work that has challenges of its own to share, lessons to offer, opportunities for further growth. There are only 7 working days left with this employer, counting today. A relaxed holiday ahead of me on the calendar after that, which still seems incredibly luxurious.

The communication piece is a big deal. I’m still learning to communicate in-the-moment in a simpler way.  I learned to use language and vocabulary, over time, to cope with the frustrations and everyday challenges of being misunderstood or just not heard (“If I just choose the right words…”).   It doesn’t actually help, and rather often complicates the matter needlessly.

So, onward to the new day! Today I am compassionate, and patient with myself and others. Today I am content to appreciate my experience and the lessons it teaches me about treating myself – and others – really well.  Today I will change the world.

 

This morning I woke feeling cross. I also woke with a nasty headache, and serious pain with my arthritis, too. I feel stiff. Hell, I’ll say it – I feel ‘old’. lol.  I’m not tired.  My morning coffee is just right. There is no element of the morning thus far that lacks harmony or a relaxed satisfying comfort.  I just hurt, and I’m cross.  Pain is enough to result in a less than pleasant mood, of course – so why does my brain go looking for more? lol  Yep. This morning’s feature attraction – The Brain Attack.

Once upon a time, and up to very recently, a morning like this one would have set me off on a path of frequent angry rants, tantrums about inconsequential or unimportant bits of circumstance, and on a hunt for insidious (and illusory) patterns of misconduct in other people’s everyday utterly innocent behavior.  It isn’t fun to participate in that sort of thing, and even when I suspected my Brain was misleading me, I struggled to put it to rest or ‘find my way out’.  Something has changed… or at least, something has potentially changed, somewhat.  This morning is different.

This morning, feeling how I felt, and being so cross, I made a point of focusing on me while I showered and dressed. Instead of just going through the motions and filing it away under ‘morning task completion’ and moving on, I slowed down and took my time with myself.  I practiced ‘staying engaged and connected’ with myself.  I hadn’t noticed before that I sometimes wander off in  my thinking to places unknown, leaving my emotions unattended.  (I’m sorry if that seems… hard to follow, or lacking clarity. I don’t understand what I did differently today fully, myself, and I’m trying to share before I have an understanding. lol)  Giving myself the respect of staying ‘in the moment’ with myself first thing actually felt really good.

Meditation, a delicious latte, and some time playing SuperBetter and I find myself in a very different place.  It seems too simple – is this all it takes? I’m not bitching.  Oh, I still hurt, but I’m not making myself miserable with self-deception in the form of brain attacks on my emotional balance, along with physical discomfort.  it’s nice.

This morning, I did things differently, and got a different outcome.

A lovely flower to start the morning. Clematis on a rainy day.

A lovely flower to start the morning. Clematis on a rainy day.

Autumn is coming. I can feel it as my morning routine shifts and changes with approaching colder weather. Funny to say that, the morning after a 90 degree day, but I feel it. I feel a little slower this morning. My bones ache where arthritis has already settled in. I feel stiff and tired, and lingering in the shower, while refreshing, did nothing to improve my range of motion this morning. My head ‘feels foggy’ too, as though my body woke without letting my mind know. My latte tastes wonderful, and feels necessary. The sky is still dark, although I’ve been up now for nearly an hour. So, this morning, a slower start.

I’ve started playing SuperBetter. (Wow, that seems completely off topic, somehow…) I’m not sure what else to say about that. It seemed worth commenting on at the moment I brought it up, but I am still a bit groggy from staying up later than I usually do… and now I don’t recall why I mentioned it. lol. It’s a cool game, though, that brings self-work into the gaming arena.  I’m finding that it makes staying focused on improvement, growth, and change feel fun and rewarding, where so often it can feel a bit isolating and frustrating [for me].

Anyway… another work day. Another day for love, Love, and romance. Another day. By itself, that’s enough most of the time, isn’t it? 🙂

Oh, right… it’s September 11th.  I’m American. I could say something about that, but my opinion, once heard, can’t be unheard – and often my opinion on such matters is less well received than I expect it to be. lol. Why trouble you with it now? We can talk about it tomorrow, or the next day, or perhaps sometimes when it seems harmlessly apropos. Today, pundits will fill the airwaves with their opinions, and some portion of the world will listen, and repeat it as original thought, or nod along as to the beat of music no one else can hear, and everyone will go on with their day satisfied with themselves, and feeling righteous, patriotic, and justified.  I don’t know how much of that is really a good thing… I dislike knee-jerk patriotism. (When people dance like puppets, I’m pretty sure there’s someone pulling the strings.)  Suffice it to say that I don’t find violence as a political solution any more effective, appropriate, or acceptable than it is as a relationship building tool for individuals.

"9-11" 2001

“9-11” 2001

Enough about that. How are you, today?  Do you find that your peers, friends, and loved ones respect you and treat you with consideration, compassion, and affection? Have you found the balance between life and work that fulfills you, and provides you with adequate resources to pursue your passions in life? Do you feel ‘successful’? Did you wake up eager to face a new day, with a smile, or a song in your heart? Were the first words you heard today words of encouragement and love? Are you ‘happy’? Are you content? Is your relationship with yourself more about delight… or criticism? Do you have a plan? Do you have a Plan B?

Sometimes there is real value in slowing myself down for a moment, and letting my brain catch up with the rest of me. The unanswerable questions about you, out there, somewhere else in the world, enjoying the dawn, or sleeping through it, do that for me nicely. Thanks for ‘being there’ for me. 😀  I pose these questions relevant to you, but of course they are also questions to answer about myself, aren’t they? (Nice one, Brain, way to sneak in some quality introspection. lol)

This sort of chaotic mental wandering is what happens when I write before I’m quite awake. lol.  This morning I’ll have a second latte before I head to work, and take a few moments alone, content, and serene as the dawn unfolds.