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It was the anxiety that woke me, drenched in hot sweat, feeling a weight on my chest, breathless and on the edge of panic, in a quiet, dark room, in the wee hours before dawn. What the hell? I forced myself to remain still, and artificially calm. “Breathe!” I commanded my still waking consciousness sternly. I exhaled slowly, emptying my lungs. Another deep breath, another slow complete exhalation. I turned on a dim light as I continue to breathe, exhale, and relax.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

“Anxiety” 2011

Anxiety is a very human experience. Certainly there’s no shortage of shit that might make us anxious in the modern world. Here? Now? In a dimly lit comfortable bedroom in a safe suburban neighborhood during the quiet hours before a new day begins there really doesn’t seem to be anything going on worth feeling anxious about. That’s all anxiety is, after all, a feeling. The lived experience of human biochemistry misfiring in the darkness. Fucking hell I definitely dislike feeling anxious. The worst of it is the way my mind immediately goes into overdrive trying to ascribe an “obvious” cause to it that seems plausible enough to become difficult to shake, however ridiculous it actually is.

I get up. Dress. Head out for the local trail I favor for a pleasant morning walk. The anxiety goes with me, this morning. It is what it is. I keep breathing. I keep reminding myself that “anxiety is a liar”, which I have found to be reliably true.

A peaceful spot suitable for a moment of reflection.

I sit with my thoughts awhile, near a small chapel alongside the first section of the trail. I’m in no hurry. Coffee with a friend a little later, and a bit of a drive to get there. The morning is my own. I think wistfully of my Traveling Partner, still sleeping at home. I hope my anxiety didn’t disturb his rest.

I breathe, exhale, relax. Meditation before my walk isn’t my usual practice. This morning I need the benefit of that cultivated moment of peace before I set off down the trail. There’s no self-critical pressure being applied, no disappointment over feeling anxious. This is the moment I’m in, and the experience I’m having. It doesn’t seem to be connected to anything, and I’m not surprised by that. I’ve got a diagnosis for good reasons. This anxiety is “disordered” – it’s “not real”, in the sense that there is no external cause at all. It is inappropriate to the circumstances. Baggage. The leavings of past trauma and whatever the fuck else causes a human body to fire off a bunch of chemical signals that suggest there is some dire circumstance afoot. (There just isn’t, and anxiety is a liar.)

On the other hand, the feeling of anxiety, the experience of the chemistry of it, is very real and very troublesome. I breathe through it, repeating the cyclical breathing I know specifically helps calm my nervous system. That’s very real, too. I’m still surprised how much effect specific breathing patterns can have on my subjective experience. The way my breathing can directly and immediately change how I feel is amazing. Sometimes it takes a bit of discipline. Real practice. Verbs. Persistence.

I stand and stretch as it begins to sprinkle. I’m fairly close to the car, so I walk back for my rain poncho. The walking also calms my anxiety quite a lot, especially when I am present in the moment and not all up in my head.

Even as the anxiety begins to dissipate, I feel it clawing at my brain trying to latch on to some idea or experience to find justification that will feed it. I keep brushing aside the impulse to make it “about” something. Not helpful. I roll my eyes and walk on down the trail.

For some of us, building and maintaining mental health and emotional wellness is a lifelong endeavor that can feel a little frustrating when it seems endlessly unresolved. Solutions feel impermanent, because they are. Life doesn’t stand still and mental illness is pretty persistent. Whether we take medication or practice a strict diet and exercise regimen, or maintain a committed meditation practice, or see a therapist regularly, or some combination of things that we’ve found some measure of success with, for many people mental health isn’t a given – it’s a struggle. There’s no easy cure in a pill. Mental health isn’t that simple. Trauma remakes us. The ideal biochemical balance for any one human primate isn’t clear. There’s a shitload of trial and error involved in finding what works for any one human being – and finding it doesn’t guarantee lasting relief.

…So… This morning I woke to anxiety. This morning I walk with anxiety. This morning I practice the practices that work best for me, not out of habit, and not because I generally find value and resilience in them, but because I really need all the tools at my disposal to kick anxiety’s ass another day.

As I walk, I feel the anxiety slowly beginning to dissipate. Sometimes it takes awhile. I’m grateful to deal with it alone this morning; less risk of unnecessary drama erupting from the lies my anxiety tells me. I breathe the fresh scent of petrichor and Spring flowers. I exhale the last remnants of tension from this mortal body. I repeat the breathing and the feeling of relief is also repeated. Breathe in, breathe out, walk on… It mostly works for me, and this morning it’s enough.

… Like anything else, anxiety is impermanent. It will pass. If I don’t feed it, it will starve…

I get to my halfway spot with my thoughts, and a beautiful sunrise on an overcast drizzly morning. I’m okay for most values of “okay”. My results vary, but there’s really nothing amiss and it’s a lovely morning. I can begin again.

I’m often kind of blue on Memorial Day, and given that I’m a war veteran who has felt the loss of many who served with me, over the years, I guess that’s not a surprise. What does surprise me is that this year, I’m not feeling that at all. I slept in and after a sound and restful sleep, woke gently to a new day filled with promise and opportunity. And here I am.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

I’m grateful for the holiday and the long weekend.

Memorial Day, 2026

Yesterday was odd. It began well enough, but after my walk the morning unraveled into frustrations built one upon another like a Jenga tower of aggravation waiting to tip over into rage or some ridiculously disproportionate tantrum. That didn’t happen, though, in part due to loving support from my Traveling Partner who recognized the role he inadvertently played in it, himself. His sweet concern and tender regret helped to resolve my agita before things really went sideways. He comforted me. Encouraged me to take care of myself, and was just generally the sweet caring partner I so adore. He makes minor emotional miracles (that are a major improvement) – and he makes cool fidget toys for me, too. (The newest of which I played with for hours quite happily.) 😁

After a hot shower, and a nap, I was fine. The day proceeded beautifully. My beloved picked up a project he could do in the living room and we hung out together watching a movie. My recollection of the day from the vantage point of this morning is all about the love and joy. It’s a nice change from a time when a morning like yesterday would have lead to days of struggling with my demons and trying – then failing – to manage my emotions, for many painful days (or finally choosing out of despair to drug myself into a stupor to stop the cycle of unmanageable heartbreak and fury). Years of tears are behind me. That’s okay. That too is a very human experience.

… It’s been a journey measured in years and practices…

The path behind me is what it is; in the past. The path ahead is mostly an unknown, and it will develop from the path I walk now. My choices and practices matter. (So do yours. However bad it has been, you can begin again right now and choose differently.)

I sigh quietly to myself on the edge of this literal path I’m sitting next to. Nice morning for a walk. My bones say it will rain…”soon”. The weather forecast agrees. Will it, though? Maybe. That’s the future. It changes constantly until it becomes the present, a real part of our lived experience. Until then it isn’t a given whether or not it may rain, or whether I’ll lose another friend to mortal frailty, or whether the local pharmacy will have my medication in stock, or whether a table will be available at a particular restaurant. It’s not worth getting spun up over some possible disappointment. Be present. Accept change and uncertainty, and practice non-attachment. These are extraordinarily secure stepping stones on a path through life that is fraught with obstacles and detours. I breathe, exhale, and relax. I’m not telling you what to do, I’m just sharing what has worked for me.

I sit with my thoughts awhile. My fingernails sparkle in the morning sun. I consider the day ahead. Vacuuming. Laundry. I think about dinner, later, and wonder whether tacos or chicken with corn on the cob sound better? My mind wanders contentedly through the ordinary. I’m okay with that. It’s Memorial Day – and I’m not crying. Instead, I feel a quiet respect and gratitude, and honor the fallen in my recollections. This year that’s enough – and I’m grateful for that, too.

I get to my feet and brush bits of grass from my jeans before I set off on the path back to the car. It’s a beautiful morning to begin again.

Home. It feels incredibly good to come home after being away. My beloved welcomed me with a warm embrace and we spent a happy evening together. It was lovely – and wow did he ever get a lot done while I was gone! It’s as good to “have him back” as it is to return home.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

A hint of a sunrise. A new day.

I got to the trailhead at sunrise. I walked briskly to my halfway point feeling purposeful and capable. It’s a good start to the day and week.

…Sounds great so far…

…What woke me was anxiety blasting me through my dreams. That was less than ideal. Still, that moment is not now and the feeling passed before I had even finished dressing. The morning is peaceful and lovely, if a bit chilly. I chuckle to myself; a 7°C (about 45°F) would have felt pleasantly warm in January. I’m comfortable in the fleece I grabbed from the hook in the hallway on my way out. It’s enough.

It feels odd to return to work today after timeless days on the coast, sleeping and waking as I pleased, drinking too much coffee, and putting my time and attention on the woman in the mirror. Deeply engaged self-reflection seems to “slow the clock” notably, and I feel as if I’ve been gone from work for many days. It wasn’t even a long weekend! 😆

Did I solve all my problems while I was away? Hardly. I am essentially the same woman I was when I departed for the coast. Did I solve any major puzzles? Answer life’s important questions? Settle all of my doubts? Clear up all my chaos and damage? It is an unequivocal “no” to all of those things – but the time was well spent. I took care of myself. I rested, read, meditated, wrote, and indulged myself in worthy hours of thought, quiet, and stillness. I returned home more relaxed and clearheaded than I’ve been in a long while, and largely freed of compulsive (and no longer necessary or helpful) caregiving tendencies. Feels good to be back.

So here it is, a Monday. Nothing particularly special about a Monday. I’ve got a doctor’s appointment later, and a list of stuff to cover. It’s important to make the appointment time count, and to be as efficient as possible. I sigh to myself; I’ve also got a busy-ish work Monday ahead. I refrain from checking work tools from the trail; this time is mine.

The clouds form a strange pattern like fish skin.

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I think about the thinking I did over the weekend, as I watched the tides come and go, and listened to passing rainstorms drum on the window and roof. I may not have solved the mysteries of the universe, but I covered some ground within my personal wilderness, and tidied up some “thinking errors”, and identified some habits I’d like to change. It’s enough to make some progress.

I look down the path. It seems like there’s always another mile ahead, however far I travel. I’m not bitching, just making a point to gently accept that the journey itself is the destination. Some days it will be enough to make some steps along the path, at all. Other days the miles will pass easily. It’s s very human experience.

I smile to myself and get to my feet. Today feels like a good day, and it’s time to begin again.

This morning I woke aching, feeling a bit twisted, and wondering what woke me early. It’s raining. Simply that, nothing more. I don’t mind some rain, and the garden will love it. I ran my fingers through my hair, as I stood at the bathroom sink, a little bleary eyed, a little tired.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

I got to the trailhead a little before daybreak. The sky was already light enough to reveal stormy sky overhead, no colorful sunrise this morning. I sigh to myself and get out of the car. Just a sprinkle now, the rain won’t slow me down.

Sometimes it rains.

I walked with my thoughts. Uncomplicated solitary time on a Spring morning. I walk. It’s enough.

I think about the upcoming weekend. My beloved Traveling Partner has suggested, multiple times now, that I take a couple days – the upcoming weekend – and get away for a couple days and really rest. He sees the strain and lingering fatigue I’m dealing with. I think about it. It does sound good… Too early for camping yet (for me), I don’t sleep well enough in the cold and damp to enjoy the experience of tent camping in early Spring. A room on the coast? A cabin in the mountains? A yurt at the edge of the high desert? I sigh to myself; I don’t want to spend money on myself right now. I’m being ridiculous. I would benefit from a couple days alone. My beloved wouldn’t suggest it several times, if it weren’t clear I need a break from the world.

I get to my halfway point still thinking about where to go, maybe, this weekend.

I breathe, exhale, and relax. The rain has stopped. I meditate awhile. I do find meditation a helpful practice for building resilience, finding balance, and maintaining a calm and centered experience. Lately it isn’t enough “all the time” to bring balance and peace when the world is so chaotic and stress-inducing. It’s s little little walking uphill on an icy surface. The residual damage of early life and young adult trauma, and latent mental health issues, weigh on me heavily these days, and really test the progress I’ve made. I look at my hands, and recognize that using them to gauge “how I’m doing right now” is pretty useful. They are neat, manicured, and healthy, no torn cuticles; clearly I’m okay, for most values of okay.

The break in the rain becomes a mist, then a sprinkle. I gaze into the stormy sky above. More rain? Oh, yeah. The sprinkle starts to evolve into a proper bit of rain. I get to my feet and pull my fleece close around me for warmth, as I take cover under the oaks, and finish my writing. Rain will fall. That’s just real. What we do about it matters more.

I sigh to myself, regretting that I didn’t grab my rain poncho this morning. I wipe the drops off the screen of my phone, complete this sentence, and begin again.

My tinnitus is shrieking in my ears this morning. (Well, okay, more of a high pitched static in the background, if static were made up of tiny chimes vibrating aggressively, with a touch of morse code in the background that I can almost but not quite make out.) It is a beautiful Spring morning in spite of that.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

In the sunrise, all the promise of a new day.

I slept well and deeply. I woke gently. I dressed, watered the lawn, and headed to the local walking path to get a mile or two on my boots. So far an ordinary enough day. It is a Sunday, and Mother’s Day, but there’s not much to do about that around our house. I’m not a mother. My maternal figures have all passed. I sent my sister a Mother’s Day greeting and let it go. I suppose my Traveling Partner will phone his mother at some point today.

I think about yesterday as I walk. I think about today. Yesterday had some beautiful high points and some frustrating low points, too. I made a batch of excellent brownies. It was all very human. Today will no doubt also have highs and lows, beautiful moments and aggravating mistakes, failed communication and delightful moments of connection. Fucking hell, I’d like to get everything right all of the time, but I don’t see living perfection among the options on life’s menu. I guess I’m grateful that the brownies turned out well, if nothing else. I sigh to myself and keep walking.

Order, and chaos, and beginning again.

Yesterday was spent creating order from chaos. My Traveling Partner continues to move things around in his spaces, preparing for the work ahead, this week. Exciting to see. I help where I can, when I’m asked, and try my damnedest not to break shit, forget something, or misunderstand something obvious – with mixed success. I had expected to spend the weekend relaxing and focusing on my own needs, and my own spaces, and taking care of myself, but it didn’t play out that way; my partner asked for my help. Today, I have less to give. I’m not in as much pain, but my mobility is more limited. Today it takes longer to get to the halfway point on this walk. I’m actually fatigued when I get here. (I’d take a nap right this moment if that were convenient. It isn’t.)

I take a seat on the bench that is next to the trail, under the trees. My legs ache. My back, too. My head spins for a moment with unexpected vertigo and I half wonder if walking was a terrible idea, after all, but I’m here and the Spring air is sweet with the scent of flowers. I breathe it in deeply. The soft scent of joy is in the Spring breeze, it seems to me. I stretch and groan from the sensation of muscles protesting, and stretch again. In each movement, I feel yesterday’s effort.

I make a point of letting all my yesterdays go. This is a new day, and a new moment, all its own, to be lived and savored and enjoyed. I breathe, exhale, and relax. I commit silently to reviewing my to-do list and tackling the tasks that most directly support self-care in some way, and hope that my Traveling Partner doesn’t need much from me. I feel pretty drained and have little to give, but I don’t find denying him easy; I want to help. (Sometimes even at the potential cost of my health, safety, or sanity, and that’s not healthy.)

… Brain damage is hard to live with, and also hard to live around…

A small herd of deer steps from the trees, one by one. Probably the same little herd I see here now and then. Two of the does are obviously pregnant, the other two seem younger. I don’t see a buck anywhere around,  just the four does. They watch me with calm eyes and munch their way along the grassy edge of the trail, nibbling at the grasses and shrubbery. There is blue sky overhead, streaked with clouds, and the tops of the oaks are dark green against the sky. I could sit here for hours just watching the clouds and the wildlife.

Be present.

I meditate awhile. The deer move on. The clock keeps ticking. I wonder if my beloved got the rest he needs for the day ahead? I sigh to myself and get to my feet. It’s already time to begin again.