Archives for category: Healthy Living

Heat

June 8, 2025 //

There’s a heat warning in my area for today and tomorrow. Summer is here, early. The rising sun was an angry orange as I drove to the trailhead, and the sky was hues of orange and lemon yellow, fading to a watery blue-ish, gray-ish, pale sky with hints – mere suggestions – of faint green. It looks like a morning that must precede a ridiculously hot day. There was no traffic, and the drive was quiet, aside from the persistent zing and buzz of my tinnitus, which seems louder than usual.

I arrive at the trailhead’s empty parking lot and choose a spot, well away from the entrance, towards the far end of the parking lot. I’m annoyed when someone else arrives and, in spite of all those empty spaces, chooses to park directly next to me. It manages to feel like a violation of my personal space, and cluelessly rude. lol I ignore their greeting and friendly attempt at conversation; I’m not here for that, I don’t know them, and also am not seeking any sort of company, at all. I let them leave while I put on my boots much more slowly than necessary and consider whether leaving and heading to the trailhead on the other side of the park might be preferable?

A strange mist covers the low places along the river.

From this location, I can take either of two trails; the year-round trail, or the seasonal trail. I take the one the other person didn’t take. lol It’s not the trail I showed up intending to take, but that doesn’t much matter. It’s a lovely morning for a walk, although I have the impression of already feeling the heat that has not yet come. I’m grateful for my water bottle, and cold clean potable water. By the time I reach my halfway point, I’m sweating.

… I’m eager to get home to my Traveling Partner, and have a strong sense of just not wanting to be around people much at all, generally. It’s probably just my irritation with someone parking right next to me when there’s an entire empty parking lot to choose from. Maybe it’s something else? I breathe, exhale, and relax, and try to let all of that go. It’s a pretty morning and I’ve got better things to do. I watch a variety of little birds flitting here and there. There are small swallows snatching insects from the air as they flit past. So fast. I don’t even see the insects that they’re eating. A wee yellow and brown bird stops next to me, just a few feet away and sings me a song before flying away. I stretch and yawn, aware that sitting here too long will mean walking back to the car in full sun.

I struggle to remember what my plan is for today. Do I have one? I know I’ve got one errand to run, but beyond that (and with my Traveling Partner’s encouragement) the day is mine. “It’s going to be hot, you should take it easy and do something for you.” Something that won’t heat up the house, for sure… Read? Paint? Reading sounds better… I don’t know. I’m content to just sit here listening to the morning, in the meadow.

I sigh to myself. I feel “unconvinced and uncommitted”. I laugh silently, amused and thoroughly human. It’s definitely time to begin again.

Tags be here now, begin again, climate change, drink water, finding a sense of purpose, heat warning, it's fire season again, me time, read a book, results may vary, self-care, too hot, walk on, we become what we practice

Categories Allegories, anhedonia, Brain Injury, breathe, Free Will, gratitude, health, Healthy Living, meditation, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Oregon Trails, Perspective, Practices, solo hiking, Summer, The Art of Being

Feels Like Summer

June 7, 2025 //

There’s a heat warning for later this weekend, and today looks like it’ll be a hot day by afternoon. Here on the trail in the morning sunshine, the air smells sweetly of mown grasses and meadow flowers. A fence rail makes a convenient seat to stop awhile. I listen to the birds calling to each other and singing morning songs. It’s hard to separate the sound of distant traffic from the sound of the river, from this spot. The golden hues of the sunlight remind me I have work to do in my garden this weekend. The inappropriately warm sweater I threw on reminds me I also need to do laundry.

My mind wanders to other summers, and recollections of summer mornings long past. I hear bees getting their day started, and instinctively check for my epi-pen, in my pocket. One more thing to grab each morning before I set off down the trail. I’m grateful to be so well prepared when I hit the trail, my backpack stocked with things I might need, and always right there in my car, ready for adventure.

… I send a silent “thank you” to my Traveling Partner, who suggested years ago that I just leave my backpack in my car, since I’m out on the trail so often and might need something in it. He was right, great practice that has served me well, from bee sting kit to snack bars, to hand soap, toilet tissue, and hair ties, rain gear, and clean dry socks. lol I’m prepared for most circumstances, most of the time…

I sit watching the sun rise, thinking about icy cold sweet tea on a screened in porch, and the sounds of insects buzzing, and the big floor fan blowing the humid air around without much effect. I recall wading in the warm muddy shallows of Weems Creek, chasing minnows and tadpoles, crabbing, or fishing for sunnies. Childhood memories untainted by trauma. Summers were stifling hot, and summertime seemed timeless, made up of swimming lessons, weekend mornings in the garden, and long quiet afternoons reading books. Books were my readily available escape from the world, but I often find myself wishing I had been more fearlessly present in my experience at that time, and more easily able to recall it clearly, now. Funny how perspective and time change the value of past events.

Nozomi needs weeding. I remind myself to wear gloves.

I sit with my thoughts awhile longer. It’s nothing to be moody about, and I don’t tend to linger on regret; it serves little useful purpose. Besides, the sun is up, and the clock is ticking; there are experiences to have now, today, and memories to make in the garden that is my own. It’s time to begin again, already.

Tags be here now, be present, begin again, feels like summer, I remember, member berries, perspective, play in the sunshine, practicing the practices, results may vary, savor the moment, self-care, self-reflection, sufficiency, Summer Breeze, sunshine on my shoulder, the clock is ticking

Categories Allegories, breathe, Free Will, gardening, gratitude, Healthy Living, inspiration, meditation, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Oregon Trails, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Practices, Roses, solo hiking, Spring, Summer, The Art of Being

Here Comes Summer

June 6, 2025 //

I’m sipping my coffee after a short suburban walk around the neighborhood where the office is located. In one direction, it’s all residential streets and quite cul de sacs, filled with pretty landscaping and flowers in bloom, and it makes a nice walk in the cool of the morning. It’ll be hot later on, and it’s clear that summer is approaching. I dislike taking my walks in the heat of the day, in summertime, so this early morning habit becomes quite a practical thing this time of year.

I enjoyed the garden yesterday, and new roses intended for the bare slope beneath the back retaining wall finally arrived. They’re waiting for their moment for planting, which looks to be Monday since I’ll need help with that, and in the meantime they sit on the deck in partial shade, getting used to the climate and being watched and watered until Monday comes. R. eglanteria is a favorite species rose (for me), and I love the apple scent of the foliage and flowers. In the conditions here, it should root firmly, spread nicely without becoming “invasive”, and do an excellent job of preventing erosion where they are planted. I’m hoping that perhaps as they grow they’ll also be sufficiently interesting to the deer to distract them from my garden. lol (“Good luck with that, Lady, the deer are probably still going to eat your damned roses.”)

“Rainbow Happy Trails” blooming, each blossom like a tiny sunrise.

I think about other garden projects while I sip my coffee, and think ahead even to the autumn gardening plan. It’s not really time to bother with that, but it’s good to have a plan in mind. I giggle to myself when I realize I’m thinking about where to put still another rose or two, as if I haven’t already wedged in a ridiculous number of them for the space I’ve got. Most of the roses in my garden are smaller varieties (some are miniatures), which make good use of the limited space, and are uncompromisingly beautiful. In this case, size does not matter at all. I’m more interested in the health of the foliage, the beauty of the blooms, and the quantity and fragrance of those flowers. I love stepping out the front door and being immediately surrounded by an invisible cloud of sweet rose fragrances, which tend to “pool” in the entry way.

“Nozomi” thriving, in full bloom; she’s so thorny it is very difficult to weed her as much as she does need it.

I enjoy the sanctuary of my garden when I’m a bit stressed out. I love the moments I spend there daydreaming and reflecting on life when I’m feeling a bit stalled. I enjoy the practical metaphor for living that my garden represents, too. My garden teaches me, nurtures my spirit, and produces yummy vegetables, leafy greens, and moments of rest in a too busy world. I still have to work at it. We become what we practice. We harvest what we plant. There are verbs involved in life and gardening.

I breathe, exhale, and relax. It’ll be late in the afternoon when I am next in my garden, watering, maybe weeding, planning the weekend project for better protecting the vegetable bed. I’m already thinking about it, which isn’t at all “being present in the moment”, because right now I’m in the office, beginning the work day. lol There are other things to do. Other places to focus my attention. Human primates are hilarious. I smile at my flights of fancy and eagerness to be in the garden; I don’t actually prefer to do the amount of work it takes to keep the garden beautiful, but it is work that must be done if I wish to enjoy a beautiful garden. There it is – the secret sauce to living well; do the work.

There’s also a certain amount of luck and happenstance involved…

I smile at the thought that “all it takes is hard work” – it’s a very “Republican perspective” on success, and it is misleading. Yes, it’s important to “do the needful” to succeed in life (or work, or love, or gardening), but also – there’s the matter of luck, good fortune, and circumstances being in favor of whatever thing I’m attempting to do. No one truly finds success alone, and while there are surely verbs involved, and yes the work we put in does have a lot to do with the success we find, there’s also no getting around the idea that we are each also very dependent on luck, and often the help of others. Maybe things just don’t go our way? Maybe the deer eat everything in our garden down to the ground and we’ve got to start completely from new seeds or plants and do it all over again? Maybe our crops become blighted, or consumed by some tiny creature? Maybe we become injured and simply can’t do the work required? I feel fortunate; although the deer ate my bean plants, those plants are recovering, putting out flowers, and seem likely to grow some actual beans before the summer is over. The tomatoes are also recovering. That’s a win, although it’s still possible the deer will have another go at my damned vegetables before I have a harvest. lol (It’s a helpful metaphor.) I’m fortunate that I also have help when I need it – I need only ask.

I sigh to myself and sip my coffee. It’s a lovely morning to be in the garden. I’m in the office. There are things to do here, too, and at least for now my time is not my own. I glance at the clock and admit to myself that the work day has begun. I look over my calendar, and my email. It’s time to begin again.

Tags be here now, be present, begin again, emotional self sufficiency, gardening, life, mental-health, non attachment, Nozomi, perspective, practicing the practices, Rainbow Happy Trails, reap what you sow, roses, self-care, self-reflection, Sweet Chariot, taking care of me, The Art of Being, the garden of my heart, there are verbs involved, we're all in this together, what are you practicing?, what have you planted?

Categories Allegories, breathe, Free Will, gardening, gratitude, Healthy Living, inspiration, meditation, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Practices, Roses, Spring, Summer, The Art of Being

An Eye on the Horizon

June 5, 2025 //

I’m sipping my coffee as the day begins. My walk this morning was pleasant, uneventful, and frankly rather ordinary. The day is cloudy, and looks like rain. I’m in a thoroughly manageable amount of pain (for now), and I make a point of appreciating how (relatively) comfortable I am. In a life where chronic pain is a day-to-day experience, it is critical to really pause and be aware of it when pain is not a characteristic of the moment. Most of us don’t actually experience “chronic pain” as 100% of always every moment of every day all the time – it does come and go, and the severity varies. Our implicit memory and sense of “how things are” is notably affected by what we hold on to as “how we always feel” – so making room to be mindful and aware of a lack of pain becomes incredibly important for managing the whole experience of pain over time. Perspective matters. So, I sip my coffee, noticing how (relatively) little pain I am in right now, and make room for gratitude; it could be so much worse (and often is).

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I think about sunrises and sunsets, and views of distant horizons. I think about miles I have not yet walked, and contemplate trails I’ve yet to try. I think about camping, and I wonder when I might next spend a couple days on the coast, painting. I sip my coffee, and let my diffuse feeling of general contentment grow larger in my awareness. My eye falls on a small Hue Forge “painting” my Traveling Partner did from a photograph I’d taken. I feel loved and visible and appreciated as a person, as an artist, and as a partner.

Hue Forge rendering of a sunrise, Mt Hood silhoutted on the horizon.

That distant horizon is a good metaphor for goals and progress and walking my own path; there it is, just out of reach, that thing I think I want to get to. A goal, a vision, a destination – it could be any of those things, or just a place to camp that happens to be within view, but quite far away. What’s on the horizon? I never actually know, I only imagine, based on what I think I see. I have an idea, and a limited view. The closer that thing seems to get, the more detailed and real it may become – but it changes as it comes into closer view, more subject to scrutiny. Is it what I imagined? Is it actually what I want? Am I actually going to get “there” – or is that “there” quite different than I expected it might be? Am I being true to myself, and staying on my path, or has something fantastical on that distant horizon distracted me from my sense of purpose? Is it even real, or only something I thought I saw?

I sip my coffee feeling surprisingly content with “now”. Nice moment for it. Sure, the work day is ahead, but I don’t find that I mind. I’m fortunate to have a job I enjoy, working with a team of people I appreciate and respect (and even like), I feel appreciated in return. We get shit done. I’m working from home, which has the lovely quality of taking my breaks in my garden, or being able to run a quick errand during the day, and not finding myself quite so exhausted when the day finally ends. Nice “now” – I feel fortunate, and pause for gratitude; this too could be so much worse. Most of us do have to work to keep the bills paid and the pantry stocked, and it’s a difficult world. It’s not uncommon to have to endure a terrible work environment in servitude to a company whose values one can’t respect, simply to keep the lights on and the gas tank filled. It’s a lucky few who do jobs they love for companies they appreciate in an environment of mutual respect while being paid a good wage. If you’ve got it, be sure you appreciate it. Change is. Be kind to those who struggle with shit jobs for terrible bosses – it could be you at some point.

…Good cup of coffee…

My Traveling Partner gave me an early birthday gift last night. A new cookbook, and one that I’d spotted thinking “oooh, I’d like to have this one!” quite recently. I thought I’d added it to my wishlist, and was delighted that he had selected it. More delighted still – and a little amazed – when I discovered that I had not added it to my list at all. He knows me so well. I feel loved. This morning when my mind wanders, it is often to the kitchen, and thinking about what new adventures I may find there, between the pages of a new cookbook. 😀

Life can be experienced as a journey. I find it a useful metaphor. No map, lots of choices, and the path is mine to choose for myself. The horizon never really gets any closer – but it’s out there in the distance, tempting me onward. It’s a worthy journey – each step down the path has the potential to reveal some new delight, or to teach me a lesson I probably need to learn. We are mortal creatures – at some point, this journey will come to an end. Hopefully, I’ve learned all I could, experienced much worth sharing, and made a point to jot down some notes for anyone who may follow me down the trail (or simply wonders where I wandered off to).

I glance at the time. The clock is always ticking, and there are things to be done. It’s time, again, to begin.

Tags be here now, begin again, breathe exhale relax, CBT, change is, choose wisely, embrace change, emotional self sufficiency, gratitude, Hue Forge, life, live live live!, love and lovers, managing chronic pain, mental-health, Milk Street 365, mindfulness, pain management, perspective, practicing the practices, quality of life, read a book, results may vary, self-care, sufficiency, taking care of me, The Art of Being, there are verbs involved, try a recipe, walk your own path, we become what we practice, what matters most?, what's on the horizon?, where does this path lead?

Categories Allegories, breathe, Free Will, gratitude, Healthy Living, inspiration, Love, meditation, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Practices, Relationships, Spring, The Art of Being

Live a Little (More, Better)

June 4, 2025 //

I drove to the office with a love song in my head. Sweet, endearing, lingering in my memory as a recollection of a time when I yearned for the sort of love I enjoy right now – although back then I didn’t actually believe such love existed at all (it was just that far outside of my own experience of life and the world). I get to the office, pour some coffee, and put on my playlist of “silly love songs” to coast into the new day. (Every song on this list is deeply meaningful to me in some way, with regard to love and loving, but admittedly, some of my choices may not make sense to anyone else – it’s not about that, though, is it?) My reflection smiles back at me in the window. The morning sky is gray and threatening rain. I breathe, exhale, and relax. It’s a lovely morning anyway.

I woke from a deep sound sleep this morning, with serious thoughts still occupying my consciousness, left behind by my dreams. Something about choosing to be less negative, as a means of improving my quality of life, and sharing that thought somehow with those dear ones in my life who are reflexively deeply negative without really giving any thought to how that colors their experience over time. You know the sort, I’m sure (hell, maybe you are that sort – I once was, myself)? I’m talking about the folks whose humor is mostly pretty dark, often very sarcastic, sometimes self-deprecatory in a somewhat disturbing way to listen to? The folks who seem to complain at least a little bit about almost every experience they have? The ones who say “no” or reject ideas before an idea can be fully presented or a sentence completed? Yeah. “Those” people – the chronically negative buzzkills in our lives, who likely mean well, and may even think they are being “realistic” or humorous… How best to communicate to these people that the negativity they embrace with such firm commitment is not only a noteworthy “bring down” in any group (and potentially not as amusing as they may think), but potentially also the actual key to why they feel the way they do in the first place?

…I definitely get tired of chronic bitching almost immediately, and sarcastic “humor” and bitterness unleavened by real joy in life is exhausting to deal with…

What you plant in your garden determines what you harvest, but you’ve still got to pull the weeds.

I smile, listening to the love songs on my playlist – it’s hard to be annoyed while also wrapped in love. I sip my coffee and make room for gratitude; I’m fortunate to be so well loved, and to enjoy the opportunity to love so deeply in return. No doubt that colors my thinking. Certainly, becoming a more positive person generally (at least for me) followed falling in love with this singular human being who is now my beloved Traveling Partner. Sometimes it almost feels like that was some kind of shortcut or cheat code, but when I’m honest with myself, there was a fucking ton of work, and verbs, and practice of practices that also followed the beginning of this relationship – and those things could have been done, and occurred, and created the profound benefits that they did, without regard to being in love. They were choices. That the inspiration to make those choices was this profoundly deep emotion is mostly coincidental (although I wouldn’t change it for all the billions in the world). It’s doable without falling in love.

Bitter is not one of the flavors of Love.

How does one make a change from chronic bitterness and negativity to becoming a pretty positive and upbeat person day-to-day? Are there some “simple steps to being happy” that are being withheld from common knowledge? I don’t even know the answer to that question – I just know what steps I took, myself. Happy to share, I hope this is useful for you in some small way.

If you need therapy, get therapy. How will you know? If you’re chronically miserable, you probably need therapy. If people around you are regularly suggesting therapy, or asking if you’re in therapy, or inquiring about your mental health and whether you’re okay, you may benefit from therapy. Just saying; sometimes we can’t make our journey alone.
Be selective about the practices you practice. We become what we practice. If you practice chronic negativity, bitterness, sarcasm, that’s what you become, and what you fill your life with.
Put your own self-care high on your list of things to do, every day.
Be choosy about your media consumption – what you fill your head with will determine (often) what the content of your thoughts will likely be.
Consider some sort of contemplative practice (like meditation) – make time in your day to “hear yourself think”.
Embrace small joys and celebrate small wins. It just feels good – a lot better than feeling annoyed, disappointed, or bitter.
Practice non-attachment. Clinging to expectations and assumptions is a fast track to being discontent and disappointed.
Do good. Another way to feel good about life, is to contribute to the good in life.
Live! Embrace change. Explore uncertainty. Try new experiences. Learn new things. Walk unfamiliar paths. The menu of The Strange Diner is vast – look it over.

Life is too brief. Don’t waste precious limited mortal moments on pointless performative negativity. Live authentically – and enjoy the joy you find (and create)! Just saying – you do have choices.

I smile and have another sip of my coffee. Good coffee. Good playlist. Good time to begin again. (Good luck on your journey!)

Tags 9 simple steps to becoming happy, begin again, being and becoming, bitterness, breathe exhale relax, buzzkill, choose wisely, cynical dick, cynicism, dark humor, do better, doing the verbs, emotional self sufficiency, finding joy, fun and humor, how to be positive, just joking, love songs, mental-health, mindfulness, negativity, non attachment, perspective, practicing the practices, realism, self love, self-care, taking care of me, The Art of Being, the happiness trap, there are verbs involved, we become what we practice, wellness, what matters most?

Categories Allegories, anger, anhedonia, Anxiety, breathe, forgiveness, Free Will, gratitude, Healthy Living, inspiration, joy, Love, meditation, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Practices, Relationships, The Art of Being

Heat

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Feels Like Summer

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Here Comes Summer

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An Eye on the Horizon

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Live a Little (More, Better)

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