Archives for posts with tag: interdependence

Yesterday I prepared a meal for my Traveling Partner and a visiting friend using vegetables from the garden.

We walked around the garden together, as I harvested peas and radishes, Swiss chard and daikon, and took note of which crops have been doing well, and which have been lagging behind. It’s been a slow chilly spring. Almost summer and the daytime temperatures are still generally in the high 60s to low 70s (Fahrenheit). The peas have been doing incredibly well. Radish, daikon, and bush beans appear to be doing very well, too. The recently planted peppers and the eggplant are doing well, but it looks like it’ll be awhile before I’m harvesting anything there; they need a few more sunny days and some warmer afternoons. The container garden, other than the peas, is not doing so well. Germination rates are poor, and this is likely because the first plantings were mostly “old seeds” that had been kept around from previous seasons, but stored in paper in a haphazard way. I find myself wondering is I might want to abandon those grow bags in future years for all but proven partial shade crops – like the peas, which are just exploding with eagerness to provide, and beautifully weighed down with young pea pods.

Veggies from my garden.

…There’s a metaphor here…

The planter box, so carefully built and filled, and planted with seeds chosen with care, is very successful… even the recently planted melons have sprouted in a promising way. Seems so obvious this is the way to go, right? Except I’ve got a wild “garden helper” fucking shit up out there, digging, and eating seedlings. LOL

What I’m saying is that even when we “get all of it right”, we may face some challenging circumstances in life, in love, in our professional endeavors. Just keeping it real. Do 100% of everything correctly, make all the “right” choices – still no guarantee of success. There’s a lot of “good fortune” involved in our individual successes, and a lot of help. We’re interdependent. We rely on each other. The well-chosen seeds planted in my garden? Yeah, I didn’t grow the plants that produced those seeds. I selected them from an online catalog from a vendor I felt I could trust. Interdependence. I didn’t built that planter box (although I helped a little bit, the design and effort were not exclusively mine). Interdependence. I was not the first to spot the handiwork of my wild garden “helper”; my Traveling Partner spotted the missing melon sprouts opposite the undamaged hill with healthy green seedlings before I did. Interdependence. We don’t walk our path alone.

A wee snake traveling through a flower bed. It’s easy to overlook fellow travelers as they make their own way.

…It is as important to choose our traveling companions on life’s journey as any other detail. Whether they are merchants who provide the goods and services we favor, or our friends, and even the loved ones we keep close and connect with frequently. These choices matter every bit as much as healthy self-care and wellness practices do. They affect our health as directly as the food we eat, and the media we consume.

I’m not telling you anything new. I’m also not telling you what changes – if any – you might want to make. I’m just saying; our relationships matter and affect the quality of our experience. Build good ones.

Like adding compost to my garden, it makes sense to cultivate healthy relationships. There is value in expressing gratitude and appreciation. There is value in participation and giving back. There is value in listening deeply, and checking assumptions and expectations. There is value in making choices with care – instead of free-falling through moments with strangers and shopping Amazon for every-fucking-thing. There are no “bootstraps” with which to pull yourself up, all alone and utterly independent of the goodwill and effort of others. That’s just… fucking dumb. Trace things back, you’ll find that you had help. 🙂

Never too late to begin again. To connect. To care. To choose. It’s a journey, and there are opportunities to take detours and choose another path. It’s your journey.

What might you see along the way, if you change the way you’re going?

This morning I exist quietly. My traveling partner sleeps in the other room. I catch up with friends and the world – and magically, in this fantastic modern age, I am able to do so without even waking them; our digital exchanges do not happen in real-time.

I am enjoying love. The simplest things, mundane pleasures, and the warmth of existing side-by-side. I’m not sleeping as well as I might otherwise, but I so rarely sleep through the night with another person that this is not noteworthy. What is noteworthy is that my solitary life has resulted in sleeping through the night generally; I would benefit from being more of aware of it, and enjoying the experience. This morning I woke shortly after three. I lay quietly, content, for some further time before getting up some time before the alarm would go off. My shower didn’t wake my partner. Neither did making coffee. I smile at these simple joys; how delightful to take care of me without it being at the expense of my love’s rest?

I continue the morning quietly, a bit a time. Yoga. Meditation. Planning the move, which is now imminent. Coffee. Correspondence. In all regards but the profound quiet this is a morning entirely like any other morning of late… only… love. The love matters. Love doesn’t have to sleep in my bed, or in my home, or on my schedule. Love doesn’t require cohabitation. Love isn’t always sexy. The power of love to build my emotional reserves, to nurture what is best and strong within me, and to add a patina of joy to just every thing going in is indescribably pleasant. I make no demands of love; I have learned a thing or two about nurturing love. I enjoy the moment, and the experience. I pause to remind myself that love is reciprocal, aware, and tender, and ask myself “am I loving well in this moment?” Why wouldn’t I ask this of myself? Love is no imposition on my time or routine – more of a rest stop on a long journey, or a broad stretch of very nice pavement on a walk more commonly fraught with obstacles.

No doubt love will also offer challenges, but today this quiet morning is enough, and I am love. 🙂