Archives for posts with tag: nothing about me without me

It’s Election Day. How is it this isn’t a holiday in a democracy? Definitely vote, though.

I have thoughts about democracy as a form of governance. My thoughts, opinions really, aren’t any more valid or important than anyone else’s – that’s literally how democracy functions. Each person votes, the votes are counted, and the totals determine the outcome. Simple enough that common sense would suggest it would be hard to fuck that up. You’d be incorrect if you think so; human beings have a real gift for breaking shit that should work fairly reliably.

Another thing that breaks democracy is narrowing the voting population such that “too few voices are heard”, like only allowing male landowners to vote, as an example. How could they be expected to make wise and fair decisions for women? For people who don’t own land? A common misunderstanding about democracy seems to be that it will reliably come up with a correct answer to a given question, although it’s not actually set up to do that at all. It just determines what the largest group of people within a given population decides on a question. It’s not about right answers at all. Bias and bigotry are readily given a voice. Pure stupidity and foolishness get written into law. Democracy works best when the voting population is very large and very diverse. “Nothing about me without me”, really matters in a democracy. So does an ethical uncorrupted foundation – voters of good character, well-intentioned, and working toward a common good, even for their fellows who think and live differently.

Democracy gets ugly when it is bought and sold. Lobbying undermines democracy. Seeking personal gain undermines democracy. A body politic composed of just one demographic undermines democracy. “Us vs them” thinking undermines democracy. Lies and false advertising undermine democracy. Trying to force the outcome to “go your way” through dirty trickery or fraud undermines democracy.

It’s pretty easy to get democracy wrong, but go vote for fucks sake, and be part of getting it right. Try not to be a dick about the process or the outcome. Do your part to make it easier to participate. Set an example by doing your civic duty and also being your best self. Welcome other voices to the conversation and really listen.

…Why, again, is Election Day not a holiday??

I’m sipping a hot cup of black coffee this morning, the first hot one this year, I think. It was a choice based on preference and chilly weather. It’s a foggy morning and the autumn chill made the thought of iced coffee less appealing. I’m grateful to have the choice, the freedom to make that choice, and the agency with which to act upon my preference by doing so.

A whole lot of years ago, (about 47 or so years ago) I made a choice based on preference that I stood firm on with few regrets, no hesitation, and only rare moments of poignant wonder about what a different choice might be like; I chose to be childless. I chose not to parent. I chose to avoid motherhood. I made this choice at a pretty young age, before ever having a moment of therapy, and before having to face the necessity of terminating a pregnancy. I made this choice based on my preferences, my understanding of myself, and my perspective on life, and the world. It was less that I knew what I wanted, and more that I knew what I didn’t want. I did not want to become little more than a vessel for other life, and it sure seemed to me at that time that such was the lot in life of most women with children. So I chose. I was free to do so. I had the agency to enact and stand firm on the choice I made, though I had to fight for it time and again.

…It was a smart choice, for me, all things considered, and I remain glad that it is the choice I made for myself…

How you vote in this election may determine whether your daughters and future generations of women are free to choose to be childless, if that is the choice they wish to make for themselves. It’s an important election, and there really are people in the world who would like to force women to breed for some nebulous greater good, or as punishment for their fundamental humanity, regardless of the risk, regardless of whether the woman is suited to motherhood… regardless of her choice. Pretty terrifyingly grotesque, frankly. I don’t understand such people. That’s the stuff horror movies are made of.

Anyway. Vote. Your freedom of choice and even your personhood and agency may depend on the outcome. Yours, and a lot of other people’s besides.

I’m sipping this excellent cup of coffee daydreaming about love. I enjoyed a lovely evening with my Traveling Partner yesterday, after a difficult (but short) workday fighting off a nasty headache. It’s not so bad today, and I’m grateful. I face the day ahead relaxed and at ease. I slept decently well and I feel rested. I want to paint, but it’s not time for that and I laugh at my foolishly inopportune inspiration. Maybe later? I’ve committed to taking some photographs for my partner later, but perhaps after that?

I sit quietly on this rock at my halfway point on my morning walk. Shorter walk today, but no less appreciated. I can see the traffic going by on the highway, a stream of lights through the fog. I finish my coffee and my thoughts. I look over my writing before I head back up the trail to the car, and on to the office. My heart is filled with love and I am enjoying this strangely tender, grateful moment. I’m so glad I’ve gotten to live this life I chose. It’s a worthy journey. There’s more ahead, and further to travel on this mortal path.

It’s time to begin again…