Archives for posts with tag: stay home if you’re sick

…Like the lasting value of self-care. That doesn’t change much. Or the sweet comfort of not yelling at people, or being yelled at, myself. That’s something else for which I have lasting appreciation. Those are connected to each other, too, in an annoying way; I have a head cold. Yep. It is not a coincidence that I’m down sick with the latest ick to go around the office after being quite healthy all year, at least with regard to contagion. Freak outs, screaming matches, nasty arguments or loss of emotional control, all seem – at least for me – to have a direct hotline to an invitation to illness. I get pissed off to the point of losing my temper on a Saturday… by Wednesday I’m down with a cold. I have frequent exposure to sick people in my work (primarily due to the gross lack of emphasis on self-care in the American workforce, and the emphasis on strict attendance vs “stay home if you’re sick”). Within 48 hours or so of my most recent obvious exposure (in an elevator, to sneezing), I have this cold. Pretty sure I’ve been exposed to it, and others like it, all year, but this one got me. Why? I don’t know really… but… I suspect the yelling.

I’d planned to write something quite different this morning. Instead, I’m coughing. Sneezing. Going through tissues like…well… like I have a head cold, honestly. What the hell else would I compare this too?

I definitely don’t want to carry this back to my work team; we share a small office, within a larger open office space. I’m still considering work, but I don’t know how long it will last… and I didn’t bring my laptop home last night. So… the plan, this morning, is first to go get that, then maybe work from home… or die quietly in a pool of snot. I don’t know. Hard to say at this point. :-\

I satisfy myself in the moment with reminders that it could be so much worse… I could be in California. Dear friends there are in some cases worried about whether their homes will even be there tomorrow, others struggling to deal with extended power outages that don’t seem to be providing any positive benefit, just incredible inconvenience and personal cost, and creating even health or life threatening risks due to loss of power to medical equipment. What a terrible experience. This? Me? Just a fucking head cold. I’ll get over it pretty quickly, however dire it feels in this hot, uncomfortable, sticky, wretched, tissue-wrapped moment.

Okay, okay, I’m going to set aside the bitching, and make the attempt to begin again. Repeatedly if necessary, until I have to give up, and just rest. Self-care matters – so it’s fluids, and rest, and symptom relief, for now, with confidence that this too shall pass, and on the other side? Another new beginning. 🙂

…I woke up during the night, a couple times. Feels like I may be coming down with the ick that has been going around. It had spared me, but late last week, a colleague definitely exposed me to it… I was hoping I’d gotten lucky, and that good self-care would be enough to stave off illness. Not this time. I find myself hoping I picked up a bug down south, instead, though I don’t recall anyone being ill while we visited; it’s just a scenario that does not put me probably taking some terrible contagious ick down there to a whole other community, which I just may have done this weekend. 😦 I hope not.

I don’t yet feel “don’t go to work” sick; may end up returning and working from home, or doing so later this week. It is hard to say. I teeter on the edge of being sick. Stuffy head – treated with the limited cold medicines I am comfortable using, seems well-managed. Tickle in my throat – well, that could just be dry air, right? Snoring all night, or? Maybe I’m not getting sick! (Why do we play this game?)

The weekend suddenly feels distant. The work day imminent, and fraught with anxiety, acid reflux, and unknowns. I take a deep breath and relax, reminding myself that pre-setting the day to any particular emotional quality likely puts me on the path of creating that specific experience. I can do better. I can choose differently.

I smile and notice that I never made coffee, which gets me thinking about the lovely mornings over coffee together my Traveling Partner and I shared over the weekend. This is a better starting point for my day, which is convenient, since it is already time to begin again. lol 🙂