Archives for category: anhedonia

Being ill during the work week is bad enough. Thinking I might be over it, and discovering just as the weekend begins that no, no I’m definitely not over it, sucks so much more. I slept most of yesterday away, after I got home from work. I slept quite late into the morning (for me), waking to find my Traveling Partner already up, already drinking coffee.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

I got up. Stretched. Took symptom relieving medication (I woke “during the night” around the time for my usual meds, and took those then and went back to bed). Washed my face and enjoyed the feeling of cold water on hot skin. I readied myself for the day, such as it is. I expect to spend it mostly just taking care of myself here at home. I went into the kitchen to make coffee, greeting my beloved on my way past him.

…He grumbles about my presence; I’m sick and unpleasant to be around. I take my coffee into my studio…

I ache all over this morning. Maybe from the sickness itself, maybe from being in bed so much over the past… week. Fuck. It’s been a week. No wonder my Traveling Partner was so firm about wanting me to stay home and just take care of myself. This shit has lingered. I take a couple Tylenol and wash them down with my coffee, hoping it helps. Seems a healthier choice that reaching immediately for the big gun Rx pain relief. I remind myself to drink plenty of water.

I’m only half finished with this cup of coffee (which is excellent), and I’m already thinking about going back to bed. I sigh to myself. Definitely still sick. I am glad I ran errands Tuesday, although I was already ill then, and deluding myself that I was “mostly over it”. The errands got done, and I could not have done them on any day since. I breathe, inhaling deeply, filling my lungs. I exhale slowly. I pay attention to my spine, my shoulders, my jaw, observing each notable point of pain (places I know I “carry my stress”), and coax them to relax, each in turn. Another breath. Another exhalation. Another moment to relax. I may go back to bed soon, but I’m in the studio now. That puts a smile on my face that feels like it lights me up from within. I’m not up to much, but painting is not especially physically taxing, these days; I’m set up for the painter that I am now, not that much younger, more limber, painter I was in my 20s or 30s. (I recall with some amusement, painting a rather large piece in acrylic, and just not being able to find quite the right perspective from which to work, until I stood up, looming over it from above. I painted it standing over it, leaning down, legs wide for stability, blood rushing to my head, and managing both balance and control of my brush. I could not do that now.)

I look around the studio. There’s some tidying and set up to do before I can paint, because I took my paints to the coast last weekend. It seems so long ago now. I barely unpacked. S’ok. It’s something to do on a sick day at home that will keep me pleasantly occupied and feel just a bit like I’m doing something, instead of “wasting” the weekend taking care of myself. I sit with that for a few minutes. Why does self-care feel like “wasted” time, this morning? Why did it ever? Why does it now? Do I always experience self-care as a “waste of time”? I don’t think I do. Why now? Is it down to feeling resentful that I’m sick? These fragile mortal vessels are endlessly breaking down over some virus or microbe or injury – but the care needed to restore them to good working order isn’t wasted. It’s utterly necessary. There’s always so much to do in one mortal life. Being ill is what feels most like “wasted” time. I’m annoyed that I’m ill. I have other shit to do.

…And room for more…

I move around a bit. Set up the easel. Unpack the newly arrived Pastelbord. Put the brushes in their holder (which my Traveling Partner made for me). Unfurl the cotton dishtowels I use to protect surfaces (and other art) from pastel dust. Open the paintbox that holds my precious pastels – so many colors! I sigh contentedly, and for a moment being sick is irrelevant and I’m filled with joy. Odd that a box of colors can create such a feeling of wonder and joy. I savor the feeling while it lasts. (Feelings, like moments, are fleeting, impermanent.) I chuckle at the disarray. I foolishly left my paintbox open as it appears in the picture, and one day it got knocked to the floor by mistake. Pastels went everywhere, breaking as they fell against edges. I didn’t really sort them by color when I picked them up and put them back into their neat slots. I didn’t have it in me at the time.

…I don’t know which is more visually pleasing and artistically inspiring, the mad chaos of colors, or the carefully sorted arrangement by hue. My brain enjoys them differently, I suppose. As it turned out, becoming more used to painting it pastels, it became progressively more clear that sorting pastels into neat categories, rows, trays, color gradations, are all just ways to fiddle with the colors when no painting is going on. It’s not particularly necessary, nor useful (this is an opinion, your results may vary).

I finish my coffee. I finish my writing. It’s clear I’m still unwell. I contemplate going back to bed. I think about painting. The medications have all done their thing…good for what it is, but it leaves me feeling sort of dumb and slowed down, too. I think I’ll give in to that, go back to bed, and begin again later.

I woke gently, got up, dressed, and kissed my beloved on my way out. It was dark (and very early) then, and it is after daybreak now.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

My walk was pleasant, and the miles passed quickly. It’s a work day, and I guess on some level I am feeling purposeful. I say so, noticing that I didn’t stop at any sort of halfway point this morning. I walked and walked, lost in thought, until my walk was over. Shit. That’s a little strange, but not a problem at all (just a difference).

I get to the car and sit comfortably, writing, my random musings still banging on the latched screen door of my consciousness, like a friend who won’t let me sleep in on a summer morning, peering in from the closed door, calling my name. I write easily, about nothing. Mornings and coffee, walks and changing seasons, merriment and sorrow – all just words on a page until someone (maybe you?) connects some point I’m making with their own experience, and finds comfort or insight there. I think about that for a little while.

Sunrise comes. I’m still thinking my thoughts. Insignificant stray thoughts about nothing particular, mostly, and my writing pauses to let some thoughts move on along without comment. Like pedestrians in an intersection, the signal changes, traffic flows, and stops continues, then pauses, over and over again. Same with my writing, I suppose. Some mornings the words pour out of me like a busy freeway, other mornings my mind is stop and go traffic during some mental rush hour, slow and not getting anywhere any time soon. 😆

I yawn and watch the pink and blue gradient of the morning sky slowly change. A new day, eh? I guess I’d better be getting on with it, then. I breathe, exhale, and relax. I begin again.

Weird morning. Routine, I guess, but my head is in a different place. This morning my tinnitus is crazy loud. My sleep felt interrupted, and my dreams were surreal. “Begin again,” I remind myself, but I feel a bit as if I’m standing on a narrow ledge in darkness.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

I sigh to myself as I walk. The darkness of the predawn sky is already beginning to lighten. Daybreak soon. I feel strangely separated from my experience, like I’m not quite connected to the moment. I breathe the summer air, inhaling deeply, tasting the scents of summer, exhaling until my lungs empty. I keep walking. I pull my attention back to “now”, this moment right here, again and again. A few steps later, I’m lost in my thoughts to no useful purpose all over again.

… Some people call it “ennui”, rather poetically. A therapist might call it “anhedonia”. A simpler soul might admit that they “just don’t really give a shit”, and move on from there. I don’t think it matters too much how I label the experience this morning. That’s even part of it. The vague sense that “nothing matters”, was the characteristic that alerted me of “where I’m at” most clearly. So, okay, now what…?

I stop at my halfway point to write and reflect and meditate. My head is stuffy this morning, and the feeling of being somewhat breathless probably contributes to the unsettling background anxiety. I reach for my tissues, deal with my sinuses, and return my attention to the moment. Meditation is hard this morning. I’m used to caring deeply about these details and this precious quiet time. This morning? I don’t much care one way or the other. I’m here. I exist. I seem to serve no clear purpose. I sigh again, a little frustrated with my bullshit.

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I repeat that again, and still again, and I sit quietly with my breath, letting that be enough. It doesn’t make me suddenly care about everything all over again, but it also doesn’t demand it of me. I let myself exist. I let that be enough. Another breath, another moment, and the clock keeps ticking.

I run my fingers through my hair. It feels soft. I watch the sky lighten slowly. I sit listening to my tinnitus, and feeling the physical sensations of being human. Sometimes the best I can do is just be, and to do so without creating problems for someone else. This moment will pass, and then I can more easily begin again.

Daybreak comes, revealing cloudy skies. I walked to this spot rather unenthusiastically. I’m not in any sort of bad mood, just “feeling the weight” of it all. It is a subjective feeling, and it will pass. I pay it no particular attention, I notice it and let it go.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

The stormy looking clouds gathered to the east probably don’t hold much potential for rain; it is summer; August in the Pacific Northwest, and a dry, hot one. The weather forecast says sunny today, hot in the afternoon. Right now the air is cool and mild and I regret not grabbing my fleece. My arthritis aches from my fusion to the base of my skull, finally completing a journey that began sometime around 1990, some 36-ish years ago, with the vertebrae immediately above the fused ones. Every year since, it has climbed a little further. About two years ago, I think, I developed arthritis in my shoulders and my collar bone (did not even know that was a thing). Last year I developed arthritis in my thumbs. Osteoarthritis sucks (any pain does, really), and it’s not really feasible to take enough of whatever pain remedy to really be “pain free“. Movement helps, but it’s more pain to have less pain. Vexing. I breathe, exhale, and relax. I let it go. Again.

Cloudy morning. The sky to the west is a smooth homogeneous soft gray, with occasional streaks of clouds drifting past. The work day is ahead. I’m fine with it. Maybe I just need some coffee to shake off this bland disinterest in this moment (or, if I’m being fair, any other). I’m fine, for most values of “fine”. As I said earlier, I’m not in a bad mood, just sort of sitting here glaring somewhat uninterestedly on this new day, which seems a bit unreasonable. It’s new, full of unrealized potential and so many options! I sigh to myself. My inner cheerleader is nowhere to be found.

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I take time for meditation. Who knows how I’ll feel after I begin again? Change is. Moments are fleeting.

I get a good morning greeting from my beloved Traveling Partner, and it puts a smile on my face that pain can’t stop. I stretch and get to my feet.

… It’s a new day, time to begin again.

Emotions are messy. I could probably just stop there. We all have emotions. We all understand how easily our emotions, or the emotions of others we interact with, can complicate things. Hardly worth mentioning, I guess.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

My morning is off to a difficult start. My emotions are in the way. I’m sitting by the side of the trail crying and feeling very much in doubt that the journey I have shared with my beloved Traveling Partner has many more miles in it and my heart aches from the weight of it. The tears make my eyes burn and blur my vision. I can’t see the trail.

Detail from “Emotion and Reason” 2012

The details frustrate both of us. It’s nothing to do with any sort of lack of affection. Nothing to do with violence. But it’s a vexing persistent problem for us and I’m frustrated and overcome with a feeling of futility.

…So I’m sitting by this trail crying…

He calls. We try to talk. It goes poorly; I’m trapped in my emotions. Angry. Hurt. Frustrated. Overwhelmed. Sad. He hangs up abruptly. Calls back. The clock on my phone mocks me; the minutes left to pull myself together for a new work day are running out. Panic begins to set in. PTSD rears its head. Now I’m fighting that too.

… The alarm for my morning medications goes off. I take them without delay to avoid forgetting and making things much worse later…

He calls again. I’m failing us. I’m choked up with uncontrolled emotions. My voice is hoarse. I’m congested from crying. I’m still panicked about being presentable for another work day. I can hear him trying to connect with me, trying to be calm and de-escalate the conversation, reduce the heat, reduce the drama, get to a place for calm conversation and connection. I’m struggling to breathe, choked by sobbing. I feel far away, in a waking nightmare of my own.

… This shit is hard. Too hard? Very human. Is love enough? Maybe it isn’t? Maybe it is. I don’t know. Right now I don’t feel like I’m enough. I feel defeated. Low…

I take a breath. I take another. I try to anchor myself in this moment. My tinnitus is crazy loud this morning. My head aches. Work emails begin pinging me. Fuck. There are after work errands to remember, a trip to the pharmacy… something else? Check the mail. Another breath. My sinuses are completely congested now, from crying. Crappy start to the day. No peace. I open a new pack of tissues, feeling peculiarly disconnected. I remind myself that “the way out is through”, and re-engage my emotions. The tears begin again. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears. Breathe. Exhale. Repeat. I guess the “relax” bit will come later. I hope.

I am filled with despair. I remind myself it will pass. Moments reliably do. I don’t know what is down the path ahead, but I guess I keep walking. We become what we practice. I didn’t do so well this morning. I remind myself rather halfheartedly to be kind to myself. To be kind to him.

My beloved reaches out seeking to reconnect and anchor to more positive details in our shared experience.

…I remind myself to begin again.