Lovely Day: How to Survive Disaster

G’damn shit is getting real, lately. Seems like the nation is on fire, the world is at war, and the things we’ve learned to count on are all coming crashing down, doesn’t it? Sometimes? Stressful. I don’t have the answers, sorry – I’m still asking questions, and sort of wandering around with a “what the fuck??” look on my face. I do have some thoughts on getting through tough times, and some practices that have served me well, and continue to do so.

1. Don’t panic. Well, okay, I mean – sometimes panic is our experience, but it’s not generally helpful. Take a breath. Take a step back. Give yourself a moment to think about things. Maybe just take a walk?
2. “Sing a different song“. This is pretty literally a suggestion that the playlist you’re listening to be one that lifts you up. If you’re listening to angry music or music that pulls you down, you’re going to feel the weight of the world in a much heavier way (at least that is my own experience). Listening to music that lifts you up tends to frame things differently. It’s easier to have a pleasant moment when your heart is not heavy.
3. Breathe, exhale, relax. Having a consistent meditation practice, over time, will pretty reliably give you some “breathing room” – a moment to connect with yourself, and pull yourself back to “now”, which generally speaking is probably not as bad as “everything going on in the world”.
4. Perspective. As with meditation, making room to have a broader more well-considered perspective on events and circumstances eases some of the stress and reduces the sensation of being mired in disaster. Some things aren’t what they seem – so what are they? Stepping back from the media circus and reflecting on things quietly, yourself, and giving yourself a moment to consider matters differently can be incredibly helpful. What do you actually think about things? Where did your thoughts come from?
5. Non-attachment. Another practice that connects with meditation, and perspective, practicing non-attachment is a useful way of separating your own here-and-now experience, and your individual actions, decisions, and circumstances from those of others around you, and this can help restore a sense of balance, and put some “guardrails” on an experience of being “consumed by circumstances” you can’t control. Don’t force yourself to be part of something you aren’t part of at all. Let things unfold with an observers mind, uninvolved, watchful, curious, uncertain.
6. Self-care. No kidding – take care of yourself. Sleep. Drink enough water. Get some fresh air and sunshine. Put down the doomscrolling machinery. Read a book. Play a game. Have a shower and put on some clean clothes. Have a healthy meal. Enjoy a conversation with another human being in the real world.

I can’t tell you “everything will be okay”, because I don’t really know that they will be. I can say – with fair certainty – that we don’t always know who is pushing information at us, or what their agenda is, or what they may gain from doing so, and if we are being emotionally manipulated, we won’t be “thinking clearly”. Give yourself a break from all that. Ask questions. Step back from the things that stress you out. Think critically – even about the things you think you believe most fervently. (And for real, y’all, do not trust strangers on the internet!) We become what we practice – if you want to be chill and calm and joyful, you may need to change your practices to get there. Change is. Choose wisely. The journey is the destination, and you are the one choosing your path.

Anyway. It’s probably time to begin again, eh? I should get started on that…