Be kind today. Kind to the people you interact with; you don’t know what they may be going through. Kind to yourself; you definitely do know what you’re going through – give yourself some compassion. Being kind costs you nothing, and can make so much difference in the world.
Perspective
Be patient with people. They’re complicated and foolish, but probably doing their individual best.
Listen deeply, with your whole attention. You may learn something, and you’ll surely be giving someone something precious; we all want to be heard.
Encourage people. A moment of sincere encouragement can fuel a lifetime of achievement.
Practice being the person you most want to be. It may take time, but we do become what we practice.
Do good in the world. Our humblest efforts, and our smallest deeds, still add up to positive change. It all matters.
Breathe. Exhale. Relax. Do your best, and when you falter, begin again.
Human primates are peculiar. I got so thoroughly involved in my delightful morning, yesterday, I completely forgot about my physical therapy appointment, which was planned to be my next stop after my walk. Instead, I went home and began enjoying my lovely morning further, with my Traveling Partner and the Anxious Adventurer. lol Costly mistake; the clinic phoned me to ask if I was “on my way”… Nope. Miles away, content at home. The caller politely reminded me I would be charged for the missed appointment. I replied that I understood and moved on with the delightful day, and spent it in relatively little pain.
It was a very pleasant and thoroughly relaxing morning. I enjoyed it. I spent much of the day exploring my new pastels, and reading, and some little bit on grocery shopping and helping my partner with this and that. I got some of the rest I have needed so badly.
Today there is laundry to do and errands to run, and housekeeping, but having some help is already significantly lightening the load and I face the day with real joy and enthusiasm. I sigh contentedly, sitting here by the side of the trail, at an”halfway point” I like that has a comfortable spot to sit down for a few minutes. The sunshine is warm on my back. The morning is mild and not yet hot, (but I can feel that it will get there again today). It’s summer, sure, but I can easily remember summers being cooler in this part of the Pacific Northwest than they tend to be now. I frown for a moment thinking about how thoroughly we’ve fucked up this planet. We could do better. It may be too late…
A beautiful morning in a beautiful place.
I think over my list of things to do and add some small tasks that make big differences. I’ve got more to offer, today, and I feel rested and strong. Funny how much difference the thought of having help makes. I don’t feel the need to plan ahead for exhaustion at the end of the day.
I sit awhile with my thoughts, watching the light through the trees change as the sun rises. I watch and wonder how I would capture the qualities of light and the various hues of green with my pastels. I feel content and centered. I breathe, exhale, and relax. It’s a good beginning for a new day.
I slept well and deeply through the night. I woke some time past when I’d usually be planning to be out the door, and more than an hour later than usual. It is unusual for me to “sleep in”, and having planned to be up and out for a walk early, I rushed through waking up and getting dressed, as if trying to reestablish a sense of expected timing, though it’s Saturday and that just isn’t necessary for any reason, today.
I left the house quickly, quietly, and forgetting that I had committed to taking my Traveling Partner’s truck instead of my car, and made myself pause, double back, and grab the other keys and start the journey over again. I wasn’t at all inconvenienced by that; I’m just going up the road to get a walk in.
The drive was pleasant. No traffic. Beautiful sunrise. The sky was a luminous hazy cotton-candy pink and the mountains on the distant horizon faded into the background as the sun rose, a vibrant orange. I drove wonder-struck and carefree, happy to have this moment.
We’ve been working hard at home to get the Anxious Adventurer moved in, and things sorted out for maximum comfort and shared convenience. Yesterday’s arrival of beds (which wasn’t without mishaps) signaled the end of the most intensive work and the multitude of changes that needed a “sooner than later” approach, and the most shared focus and coordination. My Traveling Partner suggested over dinner that we all take it easy and rest and recover, this weekend. Seems wise, and I am approaching the day with that in mind.
A beautiful summer morning.
I’ve had the trail to myself this morning. Another unexpected delight. What a splendid morning! I found a pleasing spot to sit for a moment with my thoughts and write a few words. Later I’ll stop by the store on my way home. There’s no hurry. I’m relaxing and taking it easy. 😁
Sometimes life is complicated, unpleasant, difficult, and a lot to manage. Sometimes life is easy. It’s important to enjoy – and savor – those easy moments, and to “fill up” on them. Doing so makes the difficult bits a bit less difficult and less likely to be overwhelming, or feel like they are “everything”.
I smile and sigh. I’m barely aware of my tinnitus or my pain in the background. It’s a beautiful morning, and a beautiful moment. I brush the dirt off my jeans as I stand up. Time to hit “publish” on this, and walk on. It’s time to begin again.
Enjoying the moment is so worthwhile. Beginning again is so necessary.
Life is beginning to develop a “new normal”. Change is, and it won’t be argued with. We adapt. Shift gears. Adjust routines. Change our habits. Resisting change, generally, is fairly pointless (especially if we chose it). How we cope with it says a lot about who we are.
My Traveling Partner and the Anxious Adventurer seem to be enjoying the new arrangement generally speaking. I’m okay with it, too. It’s pretty nice having some help while my partner is injured. I can now see a time on the horizon of my future when I won’t be chronically exhausted and on the edge of hitting some emotional or physical limitation that shuts me down and reduces my capacity to be helpful. It’s encouraging.
Having still less time to myself and less space of my own to retreat into takes getting used to. This is offset, though, by how much better things can be for my Traveling Partner, how much more skillfully his needs can be met by the two of us splitting up the work of caregiving, and how this makes it so much easier (for me) to also focus on my partner romantically and emotionally (because I am not completely run down by physical labor). Caregiving is more difficult than it may appear to someone not involved in caregiving, themselves. I’ve certainly got a newfound depth of understanding about it, personally!
I sigh quietly to myself, sitting alone on a bench along the trail, watching the sun rise. Pretty morning. Maybe less hot than it has been? I’m grateful for these quiet solitary moments.
As often happens with me, changes in my environment (and living situation) have disrupted my sleep. I wake briefly at odd times, responding to a new noise, or turning over and somehow noticing my orientation in the room is different than it had been previously, or just different than I expect. Sometimes I actually wake, maybe sit up for a moment, or read for a little while. It’s fine. It’ll pass. Annoyingly, one of these new “wake points” is at 03:00, too close to my typical time to wake up such that I can’t easily get back to sleep. lol It’ll pass. Change is, and I do adapt.
Another work day. Soon the weekend. 16 days to my coastal getaway. It’s nice having that to look forward to. There’s quite a bit of work and change to manage between now and then, but… It’s fine. Truly fine. I feel pretty good this morning, in spite of arthritis and headache pain. Pleasant morning.
I find myself missing my Traveling Partner, though we’re separated only by a handful of miles and the few minutes of travel time from finishing my walk to returning home. Humans are strange creatures prone to attachment. lol
The sun continues to rise. It’s time to finish my walk and get on with the day. It’s a good time to begin again.
I am taking steps, this morning, both literally and figuratively. In the literal sense, I am up early, before dawn, and on the trail. Steps. In the figurative sense I am putting a plan in motion to ease my persistent fatigue and get some better rest. I made reservations for a couple days away, at the end of July, to get some solitary restful time with my thoughts and my pastels. The former feels quite routine, the latter quite necessary, but I guess they both have all those qualities – they’re just different practices that I use to care for this fragile vessel.
Daybreak
… I’m so tired…
I walk on, enjoying the brief solitary interlude I’ve learned to count on each day. A few precious minutes with my thoughts, walking my own path, just… being. Most days, I can’t really expect even one additional solitary moment that isn’t spent in a bathroom, or driving (which rarely feels solitary). There’s nearly always someone around (at home, my Traveling Partner, and at work my colleagues), and in spite of human primates being “social creatures”, I struggle to get adequate solitude, as an individual. I sigh as I walk, thinking my solitary thoughts. Most days, these minutes and miles on the trail are enough to refuel me and keep me going. It’s enough.
…A couple days of creative time on the coast will be lovely, and I am already looking forward to it…
The sunrise softens to a pale sky of pastel hues, pink and pale yellow and a streak of baby blue. Pretty. It’ll be another very hot day today, though maybe just a bit cooler than yesterday’s 106°F.
The world finds me even here in the early morning alone on this trail. My Traveling Partner pings me. Tells me about his difficult night, the pain he is in, and how he’s doing so far this morning. I stop walking to reply and decide to write these few words. (I happened to be at a convenient spot to sit for a minute, so the timing fits.)
Sometimes it feels like there is no rest, really, no real solitude, no actual “downtime”… There’s a sensation, some days, that “someone always wants a piece of me”. I breathe, exhale, and relax. There’s no reason to push myself so hard. Boundaries can be set and reinforced. I can reclaim my time and attention for myself, for my own purposes. There are verbs involved, and my results vary. Success requires practice.
Later today, we move forward with some of the planned changes around the house, making room for one more human being. Yeah, even knowing myself as I do, I agreed to this shit. 😂 It’s fine. I’m for sure not sorry to see books on shelves in the living room instead of tucked away in a small bedroom being used as a library. I enjoy books and could happily cover every wall with bookshelves.
The sunrise continues to develop as the morning warms up. The colors have shifted to a more homogeneous shade of peach (or is it a pale salmon or coral?), with a smudge of lavender smeared along the horizon. My mind wanders as I sit with my thoughts. This is also…fine. I breathe, exhale, and relax. This mile won’t walk itself! I laugh quietly and watch little birds in the recently mown grass. It’s time to get going, finish this walk, and get on with the day.
Evening Light 