I’m sitting at the edge of the meadow along a favorite trail. It’s a Sunday morning. I slept in a bit and by the time I arrived here, the sun was well up. I’m trying to organize my thoughts regarding dinner much later, and go over my list of housekeeping tasks I’d like to get through, today (just basic stuff, nothing overly demanding or complicated).
A place, a moment, a feeling.
Yesterday was weird. I was so tired and sleepy. I went home, ran an errand for my Traveling Partner, and then crashed out for a nap. I slept deeply for four hours. I more or less slept the entire day away. 😂 I must have needed the rest. I had no trouble sleeping last night. I feel fine this morning.
It’s a lovely morning. Suitable for beginnings. The neighbors were partying late into the night. They’re generally pretty quiet, so we shrugged it off, though much later I thought I heard my partner calling to them out the window. I couldn’t rouse myself enough to ask. I managed to wake feeling quite rested in spite of the noisy night.
Grateful for the mild summer morning.
I breathe, exhale, and relax. From this beautiful place, it’s hard to imagine that life is ever difficult, but sometimes it is. Perspective is helpful, so is having a break. I smile thinking about my upcoming camping trip next weekend. I hope the weather is pleasant and mild like it has been this weekend.
It is a pleasant summer Sunday, well-suited to beginning again. I should get on that; the clock is ticking.
Stormy clouds to the west, and to the north. The rising sun illuminates the oaks and the meadow grass. Morning. I slept well and deeply and somehow still woke feeling so sleepy… Even now, I feel pretty sure I could just go back to bed.
A new day
I yawn and walk down the trail, as much out of habit as from any particular interest. I’d rather be napping. lol How am I so tired?
The stormy looking clouds get darker and stormier looking. I yawn. I’ve got an appointment later. I’m grateful; it’s the one treatment that really helps my headache. I want to be looking forward to that, but I’m pretty stuck on the awareness of fatigue and sleepiness. I yawn so hard my eyes water and the tears roll down my cheeks. I get to my halfway point, eventually, wishing I could just lay down and sleep for a few minutes.
No idea why I am so sleepy… I didn’t set an alarm. I woke when I woke, even slept in almost an hour, and went to bed pretty early. Another yawn. I sit staring numbly at the stormy sky. Nothing to do about it. I watch the clouds. Write a bit. Yawn again.
Eventually I’ll get to my feet and trudge back up the trail to the car, and head to my appointment. Eventually, I’ll begin again. Some days it’s harder than others. Some days I’m tired and walking feels like real work. Very human. I’m not even complaining, not really, just a little vexed and a bit mystified. And tired. So tired. That’s okay; it’ll pass.
I get to my feet, and walk on in spite of my fatigue.
Oh. Wait… No sponsor, here. No advertiser (unless forced on you by the app, and if so, my apologies cuz that truly sucks). No AI used in writing this post. No monetization. (I don’t make money off of this writing, and money isn’t the point.)
… Welcome…
Sunrise
It is a Friday. An ordinary enough work day. The days are getting shorter, enough to notice the change in the timing of the sunrise. I set off down the trail feeling a certain settled contentment that I yearned for, for so long. It’s a lovely warm feeling a little like love, focused on just this moment right here. I breathe the summer air deeply, tasting the scents of meadow and wildflowers. I watch the robins scratching in the grass alongside the trail ahead. I think about the day ahead of me and the weekend just beyond. I keep walking.
When I get to my halfway point, I pause to meditate as the sun rises, and to write a bit. I sit with my thoughts trying to recall something I thought I’d write about, but it eludes me now.
I sit quietly with my feeling of contentment and soft joy. Nice moment, in spite of physical pain competing for my attention. Fuck pain, though. I breathe, exhale, and relax, doing my best to distract myself. It’s quite early and my meds aren’t yet doing their thing in full measure. Soon. It’ll be some better, soon.
The work day ahead feels uncomplicated, necessary, and appropriately limited by time. I think about maybe baking brownies and remind myself to pick up chicken for dinner, later. It’s an utterly ordinary day in a very average and largely unremarkable life – or so it seems to me. I’m okay with that. I don’t need something spectacular and extraordinary out of my day-to-day experience. Enough is enough in every practical way.
“Enough” is a matter of perspective.
I sigh to myself watching the sky change colors with the rising sun. Soon enough I’ll begin again, but for now, right here is fine. I’ll sit here on this picnic table and enjoy it awhile before I walk on.
It’s a lovely morning on the trail. The sun is up, shining golden and filling the tree tops with light. The air is cool and hints at fall ahead. Summer scents of mown meadows and blooming flowers fill the still air. The distant hills are hazy; it’s wildfire season. I pause to sit and meditate as the morning becomes a new day. It is a lovely practice.
Sunlight and oak trees
“Nothing to see here.” I have the trail to myself, this morning. I enjoy that as the pleasant luxury that it is. I don’t own this land. I don’t have any claim on this place at this time. It is a public trail available for anyone who chooses to use it. It’s nice to have it to myself, and quite rare this time of year.
There’s a work day ahead, but it’s not yet time for that. This is time for me. Pleasant solitary minutes for walking and reflecting, for thinking and for meditating, and for snapping the occasional photograph of sunlight in the trees, or wildflowers, small birds, or the rising sun.
The sunrise, as I arrived.
I watch small yellow birds land on weedy stems alongside the path. They chirp together, nibbling at the seeds drying there after the flowers have faded and fallen.
A small yellow bird holds still for a picture.
Lovely moment. Lovely morning. I’ll work from home today, a nice break from commuting to the office. I am grateful to have the choice. I sit watching the little birds flutter among the weeds. There are several now. They ignore me and go about the business of the day.
…Each moment is so precious…
What are you cultivating? What are you working towards as a human being? Are you the person you most want to be? What steps are you taking to get there? What practices are you practicing? We become what we practice, so those choices really matter. Choose wisely.
I breathe, exhale, and relax. The morning chill contrasts with the warmth of the sunshine on my bare arms. I sigh contentedly. It’s a great beginning to a new day, for me, here, now. Your results may vary. You’re having your own experience – make the choices that will make it a good one, if you can. It’s worth making that effort.
… The journey is the destination…
I get to my feet to head back. It’s already time to begin again.
The Willamette River flows past quietly. The air smells of summer flowers and grassy breezes. I hear a variety of birds singing and calling from unseen locations in the trees along the bank. A woodpecker taps out a story of summer mornings and a squirrel nearby chirps her annoyance; I am too close, though I don’t see her.
Here comes the sun, new day, new perspective.
This morning my walk is along a trail I have not walked before. I found it earlier in the Spring, when the trees were bare, and the ground was muddy. Pretty spot, I thought then, meaning to return. It’s taken me awhile, but I am here and the moment does not disappoint.
A bunny on the trail ahead, an obstacle, an observation, or a fellow traveler; it depends on one’s point of view.
There are big thickets of thimbleberries out here. Lots of familiar wildflowers (they would be weeds if they were to turn up in my garden). Perspective.
The trail winds through the trees along the river, and around a planted meadow of clover, covered in purple flowers. In the center of the meadow there are several bee hives. Seeing that reminds me I’m allergic to bees (an allergy I acquired as an adult in my 30s, working in construction in California’s Central Valley). I double back, and grab my bee sting kit from my backpack, in the car, and begin again.
A trail walk on a summer morning.
The sun rises while I walk. I catch golden glimpses as I pass through the trees. The trail does a sort of figure eight, looping around and crossing over at the trailhead. One side is a short loop not quite a mile through the trees. The other side is also short, longer, a little less than two miles if I walk the little side loops, too. All of it quite pretty. I don’t hear any traffic at all. No agricultural noise either, though I’m surrounded by farmland, here. It’s Saturday and still quite early. A man walking two very excited well cared for Irish Setters overtakes me and passes by with a friendly greeting and assurances that his dogs are friendly. I walk on, until I find a convenient rock to sit on for awhile, watching the river flow past and listening to the buzz of insects.
Reflections and a quiet moment.
I don’t need more out of this moment than it offers. I’ll definitely be back – maybe tomorrow? Maybe some other day.
I expected this place might be quite crowded, when I was here in springtime, but I was misunderstanding the paved bit down to the river as a boat ramp, it isn’t at all, that was just how high the water level was at the time. No boat ramp here, just a steep drop off at the end of the sloping trail, and an even steeper eroded “trail” of a sort, for those bold enough to attempt it, leading down to a small sliver of sandy “beach” at the waters edge. I don’t go that far; I’m not confident I could get back up to the trail from there.
… I find it helpful to know my limits. I sometimes find it challenging to distinguish between legitimate limits and those self-imposed by fear or doubt…
Clouds gather overhead, obscuring the blue summer sky, and I feel a chill bit of air coming up from the river. I sigh and stretch and smile. Lovely trail. Lovely morning. Moments are temporary, no point getting attached to this one, and anyway, there’s further to go. Feels like time to begin again.
Evening Light 