Archives for posts with tag: celebrate

One thing I like about American culture is that we have an un-ironic holiday on the calendar for gratitude. We take a day to gather, feast, and share a moment of thanks. It’s an oddity among our holidays; it is far less commercialized than most of them. It’s mostly just a holiday feast. I enjoy the cooking and the meal. As a kid I enjoyed the various peculiar rituals, and the chance to see cousins from far away places as we all gathered at Grandfather’s house. I have amazing holiday memories of those childhood Thanksgivings.

I’ve never hosted large family gatherings for Thanksgiving, but I remember the fuss and chaos and celebration fondly (possibly because I didn’t have to coordinate the details or do much of the work!). I’m grateful to enjoy the holiday without the extra work involved in cooking, serving, and cleaning up after an elaborate meal for a large group. lol I’m content with a smaller celebration.

Thanksgiving morning before sunrise.

I woke to a cold properly autumnal morning and slipped away for my walk as quietly as I could. I slept well and deeply and I am grateful to start the day rested. There’s so much to do, later. I’m grateful for this quiet “now”, and sit for a moment after I put on my boots, just enjoying feeling the moment. It’s enough.

I’ve got a lot to be thankful for, and I begin the day here. Thankful for a good night’s sleep in a safe, comfortable home. Thankful for the warm base layers that keep me comfortable in the autumn cold. Thankful for my cane, which keeps me steady on my feet – and thankful to be walking. So thankful. I’m fortunate.

I’m thankful for this well maintained trail, and this quiet morning. I’m thankful for the partner who will welcome me home with love later this morning. I’m thankful for the coffee beans waiting in the grinder that will become my morning coffee, and the well stocked pantry that will provide ingredients for the evening meal. I’m thankful for hot and cold running water that is safe to drink. I’m thankful for my reliable vehicle and cozy house. I’m thankful for the books on my shelves, my eyesight, and the ability to read. I’m thankful for the Internet connectivity that keeps me in touch with friends and family. I’m thankful for the job that keeps the bills paid. I’m thankful for this comfortable good life.

I’m fortunate. I’m grateful. I’m merry.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Nice morning for walking. The sunrise was a bit hazy in the distance, but the air is still cool and mild. The heat expected this week will probably develop later in the morning. I walked along this favorite local trail, planning to do the entire loop, as I did yesterday, but I got to my “halfway point” and took a seat to rest, reflect, and write…as much because my knee is hurting as anything else. I’ll go back the way I came and settle for the shorter distance. Seems wise.

Summer sunrise.

It’s Independence Day here in the U.S… For me, this day represents more than an element of national identity. I have literally become independent of some difficult experiences on this day. I left my violent first husband on a July 4th. I finished basic training on July 4th. I finished my military service just a few days after a July 4th. My Traveling Partner and I moved into a home of our own on July 4th, too. Just seems like a lot of (my) summer milestones happen on or around July 4th. I’ve gained or regained my independence from something many times… totally worth celebrating. I’m not sure firing off various sorts of colorful ordnance is properly the way to celebrate one’s independence, but it’s an American holiday, so… maybe? lol

Are you feeling trapped? How will you gain your independence? How will you regain your freedom? You have so many choices…

My knee aches. My head aches. My back aches. I’m tired this morning after a night of weird dreams of fighting for my freedom and arguing for my personhood. My tinnitus is ridiculously loud in my ears. I’m not listing my aches and pains for any particular reason, just being aware of them and the way they can potentially encroach upon my quality of life, this morning. I’d love to be independent of these experiences!

…I could use a good cup of coffee…

I sigh out loud, feeling myself relax with my exhalation. Breathe, exhale, and relax. Repeat. Again. I sit awhile with my thoughts. This moment feels so free and easy, in spite of pain. In a few minutes I’ll resume walking, head back to the car, and return home to share the day with my Traveling Partner and the Anxious Adventurer.

… Maybe I will finally find a moment for those new pastels…

Freedom comes in many forms, but rarely happens by chance. How will you free yourself from the things holding you back? Where does your path lead? We become what we practice. What are you practicing? Are you the person you most want to be?

It’s a good time to begin again.

I’m feeling pretty good this morning. By itself, that’s worth some celebrating. I’ve still got my headache. I’m still in pain with my arthritis. I’m still managing my anxiety. All of that is utterly routine and ordinary (for me), and just part of the background. Other details seem quite… splendid. I slept well and deeply until early this morning. I woke to pee at some point, inadvertently also waking my Traveling Partner. No stress though. We even seemed generally happy to see each other, even at that ridiculous hour.

My homecoming yesterday was delightful. We’d missed each other quite a lot. Other than a quick trip to the store for dinner groceries (the result of which was some amazing roast beef sandwiches), we hung out together at home all day. He cooked lunch. I made dinner. We enjoyed carefully curated content (mostly educational). It was a lovely Sunday.

I’m feeling more stable on the new medication – just in time for an incremental (and quite small) increase in the dosage of one of those on my way to the anticipated “correct dose”. I started that this morning. It feels comfortable, no surprise “other” effects. Nice.

In general, it just feels good to be home. I love that it does feel that way. I sip my coffee feeling festive and celebratory and … relaxed. It’s quite nice. I’m not amped up. I’m not dragging ass. I’m here, present, and content. I don’t think I need much more than that in life to get from enduring my experience to thriving, day-to-day.

…None of this means there is no struggle. None of this means I don’t have to work at living my life to live it well. None of this means I am without symptoms, or free of challenges. Just being real; there are still verbs involved, and I’m not alone in this; we’re each having our own experience. I’m just saying, this feels improved, and if not “effortless”, totally do-able. Just getting here from where I began is hugely worth celebrating. (Personally, I don’t think we celebrate enough, and we’re too hard on ourselves and each other.)

I still have to deal with my chaos and damage. I’ve still got challenges with things like memory and emotionality. All part of living my life, I suppose. Still… it could be so much worse (and has been). I’m grateful to be standing where I am, with the perspective I have gained over time. I’m grateful for this generally very healthy partnership, and to be so thoroughly loved. I’m grateful for this job, for our home, and to live in a pleasant little community. Worth celebrating.

I finish my coffee, and get ready to begin again. 😀

My Traveling Partner and I celebrated our anniversary this past weekend. 11 years as lovers, 10 years married. We didn’t do much about it, aside from noting the moment together, enjoying each other’s cooking, hanging out, and spending precious moments together. It was a very human experience; we also took turns dealing with our own, and each other’s, physical pain, and occasional off notes in love’s symphony. lol So human. We enjoyed good conversation, a deep connection, abiding affecting for each other, and some great music. Again, nothing particularly fancy or extraordinary, and with the pandemic being what it is, we spent our time together at home. 🙂 It is enough.

On one of my walks, I noticed the wild roses preparing to bloom. So soon?

It was a lovely weekend, and that’s how I remember it when I look back, in spite of being also aware that there were some moments I could have handled better (and some that perhaps he could have handled better). Yesterday I was in so much pain, generally, that by day’s end I’d maxed out on OTC and Rx pain relief, and still hurt enough to just call it a day quite early, thinking I’d just read quietly until whenever I felt sleepy… I don’t think I ever even picked up a book (or my Kindle).

I woke ahead of the alarm, with that painful day quite behind me, and an entirely new day ahead of me. I got up. Dressed. Went for my walk. Returned. Showered. Made coffee. Greeted my partner as he started his day. Now… here I am. 🙂 Sipping my coffee. Writing. Simple verbs. An ordinary morning.

Which moments are worth celebrating? Milestones like anniversaries seem an obvious choice. Perhaps it is less obvious to celebrate a routine pleasant Monday morning and a good cup of coffee? There are so many moments of suffering in a human life… I find value in celebrating even the small successes, and easy wins. Doesn’t seem to do me any harm to do so, and it tends to fill my day-to-day experience with small celebrations, which, generally, is quite pleasant. So… I do. 🙂

“The Alchymist” finally has a proper home in my garden. 🙂 Worth a moment to celebrate a very long journey to “home”.

A neighbor gave me a hand digging the hole for my only full-size potted rose, yesterday. I didn’t expect it, and was astonished that it was done so quickly. It was splendid to successfully replant The Alchymist into the garden from the big nursery pot it has endured for so long. 6 years? 7? (Could be going on 10…) I smile thinking of the remaining 3 roses that will go into the ground this Spring. I’m delighted that I have, thus far, managed each replanting without killing new growth, tearing off or breaking new shoots, or knocking off buds. 🙂

I was surprised how many buds there were on the long graceful canes of The Alchymist, already. Last year it only had one flower. LOL

…Small celebrations…

I remind myself to take a moment for life’s goodness, however humble, and to celebrate successes, however small. These moments are worthy of taking note, of savoring, of really enjoying – however brief they may seem, however modest in scale. An amazing, beautiful life can be built on small moments. 🙂

…And already it is time to begin again. 🙂 What are you celebrating, today?

The cycle of holidays and seasons continues. I woke hoping to catch a glimpse of the Morning Star this morning (or, perhaps, this evening)… but no, it’s the Pacific Northwest, and the morning is cloudy, wet, and gray. No stars this morning. 🙂

Winter Solstice at home, 2020, the year of pandemic.

Yesterday’s flood waters have already receded. The morning is balmy and feels strangely mild after a day of chill winds and pounding rain. It’s the Winter Solstice (and, I hope, a merry one for you). I am smiling and eager, sipping my second coffee. I’ve planned a day’s painting, a way of celebrating, of meditating, of committing this day to memory. It’s special; I’m here, at home. 🙂

My Traveling Partner gave me some amazing gifts for Yule, and I opened them yesterday evening at his request; new paint, new brushes – and my lasting joy in this partnership reinforced, yet again, by his consideration. 🙂 I’m feeling very loved. I’m eager to get to work on new canvases, in this new studio.

I think a point I am making is that dates on calendars come and go. What lingers is the joy we take from the precious moments we share – when we allow those to be the details central to our thinking, and our recollections. (I mean… there are other choices.) What we commit to memory, and those details we regularly revisit, become the defining details of who we find ourselves to be, and how we see life, generally. Joy is not exclusive to any particular holiday – or any particular moment. I try to find my joy everywhere I can.

…This morning I am spectacularly joyful, on the order of an excited child…

I smile and sip my coffee. The euphoria of this one moment will fade. Perhaps even the rich cherished memory of it will also fade, with time. Hell, with the passage of time I may forget which particular gifting holiday resulted in my having these exquisite brushes. I have this moment, here, now, though, and I have this joy to cherish. It’s enough. 🙂

The morning sunshine breaks through the clouds. Perhaps a sunny day ahead? This studio has very good light on sunny days… I think it’s already time to begin again. 🙂

Merry Solstice, Humans. Here’s hoping we each find such joy as will sustain us through our darkest times, and my best and fondest wishes that we don’t need to use it that way, at all. 🙂