Archives for posts with tag: Happy
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Sometimes Happy Happens

December 25, 2024 //
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I’m at the trailhead, changing shoes for boots, and appreciating the quite nice Alpaca hiking socks I got for Giftmas from the Anxious Adventurer. They’re cozy and splendidly comfortable, durable and warm. I’m enjoying a chance to walk this trail in the drizzly daylight of Giftmas day. I have it to myself. I smile, and sigh to myself, filled to overflowing with contentment and joy, and yes – I feel happy. Thoroughly actually happy, which is a sufficiently rare feeling that I am inclined to savor it with a grin, and my whole self, fully present. I get on with my walk.

Gray and drizzly on the outside.

I get to my preferred halfway point. The rain isn’t much as rain goes around here, but even so, I’m grateful for the pause in the fairly steady drizzle, while I stop for a moment. The rock I’m sitting on is mostly dry. I covered it with my fleece to keep from getting my jeans damp as I sit. It’s a mild afternoon. After I get home, I’ll get started in dinner tasks. I’m making a roast in the Dutch oven. Should be tasty.

I smile to myself like a kid, without embarrassment or reserve; it’s been a wholly splendid merry holiday and I am still all aglow inside from merry-making and joy. We woke early, my Traveling Partner and I. We opened our stockings together, while the Anxious Adventurer slept, and later enjoyed watching him open his. So fun!! Then the gifts. We took them in turns, enjoying the moment with each other as each new treasure was revealed. Wow. Just… Wow. So much fun. I’m sure there are folks who spent more, or gave more lavishly, or selected more exotic gifts, but there’s no way anyone put more love into their holiday than we did into ours. I’m still reeling from how loved I feel. How…”visible”.

… This is definitely among my top ten best Giftmas holidays ever. Maybe in my top 5 (and I’m including childhood holidays, when Santa was as real as any other person)

Like a software upgrade for a human primate.

I’m eager to read each of the books I got (and there are several, each amazing), and to get started putting my own recipes into the new personal recipe book my Traveling Partner got me. It’s really nice and a great improvement over the tattered old one that has lingered from my first marriage. Everything about this holiday feels so… perfect. Crazy. Not sustainable, obviously, but I don’t expect such intense feelings of joy, delight, and satisfaction to endure. It’s a moment. Quite a splendid memorable happy moment, worth savoring and cherishing. It’s already time to begin again, though. Moments pass.

I smile to myself, thinking my thoughts. I gaze down the trail. It’s sprinkling again. Time to walk on. I feel refreshed by the walk in the fresh winter air. I’m grateful for the mild weather, rain and all. I think ahead to making dinner. It’s not a fancy menu, but the roast is a good cut of beef, by itself a treat. So many of these delightful holiday moments have been built on “simple ingredients”, handled well. There’s something to learn there.

I let my smile lift me to my feet. I breathe, exhale, and relax. Time to begin again.

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Categories Allegories, art and the artist, breathe, Free Will, gratitude, inspiration, Love, meditation, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Oregon Trails, Perspective, Practices, Relationships, The Art of Being, winter

A Trickle of Happy

January 30, 2024 //
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I’m drinking my coffee before I start work. I am feeling contented and relaxed. Strange morning. Some sound or something woke me briefly at something like 03:35 this morning. I looked at the clock, turned over, and went back to sleep. The lights (of my silent alarm) don’t come on until 05:00; I had time to sleep, more. I sank into a deep dream. My Traveling Partner’s voice saying… something… roused me a bit some time later. I heard the door click closed, and woke thinking I must be running late (damned dreams) and sat upright abruptly, forgetting I had a CPAP mask on and very nearly dragging the machine to the floor as I sat up. Comical, later, but in the moment mostly just confusing for my groggy brain. I rose, dressed, and made my way through something like my morning routine, before kissing my Traveling Partner and leaving for work. All rather ordinary, really, but…

…It was a bit earlier than usual, and I was definitely not “running late”. LOL Nice commute, very little traffic.

I’ve been enjoying a fairly spectacular few days for the last little while. A week? More? It’s just been rather nice at home, and yeah even at work. I feel… mostly contented, generally merry, and frequently joyful. My Traveling Partner and I are enjoying each other quite a lot. (If you’re in a loving relationship, yourself, you probably know there are some ups and downs, and it’s not all “ice cream and blowjobs” all the time.) It’s rather like the cold-brew filter of my heart is drip-drip-dripping happiness into my experience all the time, a little bit at a time, and it’s been adding up. It’s quite lovely. I sip my coffee and reflect on my joys and precious moments shared with my Traveling Partner.

…Yesterday was a weird one. Not a bad day, and remarkable primarily because it was (and is) more or less a blur. I got to the office, sat down, answered an email before I even made coffee (it seemed to want to be answered promptly)… next thing I new the day was ending, it was hours later, and although I’d gotten a lot done, nothing at all stood out about the day, as if I simply hadn’t formed any memories of the moments of lifetime that had been consumed by work. I mean, I guess I didn’t. As I said; it’s a blur. I see my checklist has many items checked off, and I review it with care; my “today” will build off that list and awareness of what has already been completed, and what is yet to be done… short week, with my long weekend trip coming up quickly.

Last night my Traveling Partner asked about my itinerary and timing. He looked a bit disappointed to realize I’ll be leaving on Thursday, but I set up my trip to maximize my downtime, and minimize the impact to him/us; I’ll get two days off work, and spend just one weekend day away, returning home on Sunday to enjoy the day with him (and get a few things done before the work week begins). Evenings apart can have some lonely moments, though… I sip my coffee and think about offering a Zoom call or something for Friday or Saturday night. By Saturday evening I know we’ll be missing each other a lot. I fret for a minute over whether he’s really going to be able to care for himself (still recovering from his injury) sufficiently well to be okay on his own… but… he’s a grown-ass man, very capable, and would 100% tell me, and ask for my help (or to change my plans) if he needs me. He’s pretty good at “using his words” where that sort of thing is concerned (for which I’m highly grateful). He knows I need the downtime. Work has been intense. Life has been filled with effort. I’m tired and a bit overwhelmed by “all the people-ing”. A couple days solo is good for me – but the weather is not yet great for camping. So, a trip to the coast it is. This time I’ll bring my paints along. 😀

As I finish my coffee, I take a breathe, sigh, and hope today isn’t such a blur. It’s time to begin again.

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Categories Allegories, art and the artist, Brain Injury, breathe, Free Will, gratitude, Healthy Living, Love, meditation, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Practices, Relationships, solo hiking, The Art of Being, winter

Pieces That Fit

April 30, 2022 //
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I’m relaxing with a cold glass of iced tea, as though a chilly rain had not started to fall. lol My Traveling Partner and I finished building the new raised garden bed in the front yard together this morning. I filled it with suitable growing medium from the nearby nursery. Hell, I even planted several rows of future veggies! I’m as excited as I ever have been about a new garden space. More, maybe. In fact, I got so excited and so motivated to work in the garden, that I wore myself out a bit, and now – in spite of this rather strong iced tea – I’m overtaken by yawning, and feel like having a nap. LOL I could, of course, it’s my choice. I’m choosing, at least for now, to simply enjoying this feeling…

… “Happiness”. What gets you there may be something different than what gets me there, but I’m for sure “there” right now, and it’s worth skipping a nap to just soak it in.

Happy.

Wow. Feels good.

I love having a garden beyond the flower beds. I enjoy that there is so much variety; peas, onions, and salad greens round the back, down below the edge of the deck, along the gravel walk, planted in grow bags. In the new raised bed? Well, so far some “easy win” crops: radish, daikon, carrots, parsnips, and bush beans, with plans for maybe a couple of short growing season melons, and the eggplant seedlings that are maturing on my windowsill. 😀 Yummy stir fries are going to get even yummier. Summer salads look like they’ll be fresher and more flavorful. Add to that the exercise I get being out in the garden each day doing some little task or another – it’s all “win”. So, yeah. Happy describes this feeling pretty nicely.

The thing is, “happy” is every bit as intense as my sorrows can be, but if I don’t slow down and take notice of the moment, and really savor it, drink it in, luxuriate in it, however briefly, it doesn’t “stick”. It’s as true as ever, “this too shall pass”. Our happiest moments are worth taking time for. Real time. To just enjoy the delights of life, love, and gardening. Or, um, whatever your “thing” is, I guess. Might not be gardening. 🙂 Do you.

One sunny happy moment.

…I’ll be in the garden…

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Categories Allegories, Brain Injury, breathe, Free Will, gardening, gratitude, Healthy Living, inspiration, Love, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Practices, Relationships, Spring, The Art of Being

Do a Little Dance

January 30, 2019 //
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Or, you know, “make a joyful noise”, or… whatever. Some days feel made for joy. 🙂  Enjoy them when they turn up. 🙂

Seriously, wrap yourself in joy once in a while. Totally okay. Don’t let the world bring you down every time. Rapture? Real. Joy? Legit. Delight? There’s a ton of it to experience. When it over takes you? Savor the experience. Let your face hurt from smiling. Go ahead and cry happy. 🙂

Feeling happy? That’s more than okay – it’s also quite fleeting, sometimes. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Enjoy you. ❤

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Categories Healthy Living, inspiration, Love, Moments, Perspective, Practices, The Art of Being

One Moment of Many

June 4, 2016 //
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It’s a quiet dawn ahead of a hot day to come. The sun shines in my eyes and the light fills my studio; the day will get no cooler than this hour, now, and the windows are open to the cool morning air, the blinds raised to ensure ample freedom for uncertain breezes. The night didn’t cool off so much as it has been. Summer is here. I take my coffee iced this morning, and toast the rising summer sun with a smile – it’s well before 6:00 am, and full daylight.

I have “install the AC” on my calendar today… I still haven’t worked out which window I’ll put it in. The heat expected today is motivation to at least determine which window the AC will go in. lol

Iced coffee, birdsong, and a quiet summer day to enjoy without firm plans. It sounds nice. I’ll water the gardens before the heat of the day becomes unpleasant, and get my walk in before noon. There’s nothing exciting about any of this… except for the bit about how calm it is, how comfortable, how sustainably ordinary. I’m not meaning to brag, so I’ll make the point of saying it hasn’t ‘always’ been this way – there was a time when it was almost ‘never’ this way, and life seemed fairly pointless… or worse. I’m no longer merely enduring an unavoidable cycle of sleeping and waking, separated sometimes by nightmares, sometimes by despair. It’s a nice change.

Being here isn’t a given. Being content isn’t a passive thing. There are so many every day choices involved, and every day I take actions, and practice practices, to bring myself closer to being the woman I most want to be, living a beautiful life of sustainable contentment, comfortable with myself, and moving forward. Every day enjoyed is ended with a moment of delight and a bit of surprise that so much of it is in my hands, and of my own choosing – and much of it was, long before I understood that it could be.

Ready? Verbs!!

Ready? Verbs!!

Iced coffee goes down quickly…and summer days begin to warm up early. It’s already time to get to work watering the garden, and adjusting windows to continue the flow of cool air, and now to also limit the sun’s light reaching into the east-facing rooms. Time to put some verbs into action, and time to make some choices and begin the day. Today is a good day for verbs, for choices, and for a delightful summer day. I can’t change the weather, but I can change what I do about it. 🙂

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Categories Free Will, gardening, Healthy Living, Logic & Reason, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Perspective, Summer, The Art of Being, Words
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