Archives for posts with tag: turn out for what?

It’s the Monday after Daylight Savings Time ends. I woke up an hour earlier than my alarm was set, because, of course I did. It’ll be weeks of it before I adjust. I got ahead and get up though, and take advantage of the opportunity to more gradually delay my morning medication. It’s the sort of thing I should take at the same time each day, so I’m sure it’s helpful that I am making that change gradually.

Seated on my meditation cushion, enjoying that quiet time soaked in contentment, my mind strayed ever-so-briefly to the recent work project consuming my consciousness for so many weeks. Well, shit; my blood pressure increased, and now I have this knot in my stomach radiating tension through the rest of my body. Oh yeah. Probably gonna be weeks of that, too. Fucking hell. I breathe. Relax. Repeat. Bring my mind back to meditation, and do that again, repeating the whole sequence a number of times. Working to steady myself in this moment right here, instead of allowing my consciousness to creep forward in time, preventing it from creating a new reality of disaster that doesn’t exist. Halting the process the terrorizing myself using my own insecurities and anxiety and stress about change.

I begin again. Actually, I begin again a couple times, in a very short period of time, before I am really back to meditating.

Weird morning. There’s no real way to determine how much of my anxiety this morning is truly about the completed work project, and how much is actually the literal physical experience of the end of DST. Quite probably a mix of the two, with some extras thrown in. Sitting here at my desk, I’m forced to consider more of the minutiae of what is driving my anxiety when I get a polite automated reminder from my healthcare provider to schedule some routine maintenance. This, too, causes my anxiety to flare up in the back ground. So much adulting to do! Fuck.

Did you vote? Will you? Please? Fucking hell, please don’t let’s have to go over, again, why it matters (so much). I know, I know, it’s a rigged system – but if you don’t at least vote, you get literally no opportunity to participate in the most basic of processes that is useful to change it! Just vote. Then do all sorts of other stuff, too: write letters, emails, make phone calls, protest, vote with your dollar by supporting the merchants who also support the candidates and changes you do – right now even fucking businesses count as people, so support only those that truly support you.

Another Monday. Another moment. Another chance to begin again. 🙂

A moment of levity in the morning seems appropriate on the day after mid-term elections. Right now, the outcome doesn’t matter much; the changes in many cases don’t become effective for months, and the election itself is over. It’s no particular cause for stress just at the moment. Why would it be? Still…my Facebook feed is filled with people who suddenly found their voice, after the election results are in and it didn’t ‘go their way’. Many of those folks voted – they are irked with people who didn’t – and quite a few people didn’t vote, some of them are annoyed that the people voting voted the way they did.  I suspect that this national post-election snit is helpful to someone or other; it is certainly a distraction from the ‘now’ moment, which is too bad… ‘now’ isn’t that bad, generally.

Let’s take a few deep breaths, and cover some basics just to get past the tough bits…

  1. Some asshats and very ineffective people got elected, and this is commonly true; we’ll all survive it, and try again next election.
  2. Some women got elected, and some men of a very particular sort aren’t happy about that; those dudes are literally everywhere, but they are less favored year after year, and may eventually become extinct – possibly in my lifetime. (Party at my place when that day comes!)
  3. Some people who lack ‘the right credentials’ got elected; they’ll probably do just fine given a chance.
  4. Everyone elected has less power individually than we give them credit for, but they probably like to feel important; the media is there helping with that.
  5. Alaska, Oregon, and D.C. joined Washington, and Colorado in admitting that ‘most people’ – the ‘majority’ that is to say – think using cannabis is harmless enough to be legal; historical record-keeping shows this to be true, and it seems likely there is nothing to be alarmed about, unless perhaps you work for the DEA, which may soon be without a mission.
  6. …And if you aren’t sure legal weed is ‘okay’, take a deep breath and remember that most of the people you know who use cannabis haven’t been comfortable ‘coming out’ because it’s been problematic legally, and it may be that indeed ‘most people’ are far more okay with it than you realize.
  7. South Park Season 8 Episode 8… just saying.
  8. Things change. Things change slowly for people who want change most, and things change very fast for people who fear change. Right now is generally reliably right now, and nothing more.
  9. The anger and heightened emotion we all feel when we are frustrated, frightened, irritated, held back, or treated unfairly are real… real emotions, just that and nothing more. Feelings. It’s okay to make room in our hearts to treat ourselves well, to honor our feelings, to comfort ourselves…it may be necessary, actually; I don’t think we can count on an election to do that for us. Becoming mired in the emotions doesn’t really improve things, though.
  10. There will be another election very soon.
The path ahead is strewn with possibilities and choices...

The path ahead is strewn with possibilities and choices…

Here it is a Wednesday morning like any other. I hurt a lot this morning: arthritis, a headache, and tension in my shoulders and neck likely related to both. It’s a lot of pain to be in and still function. I take appropriate pain management steps, and hope for the best. I have slept restlessly since Daylight Savings Time, which is not uncommon. It may be weeks before my own clock resets. My coffee was hot and tasty – and it is early enough to have another shot of espresso if I care to… for now I am not inclined to make the effort due to the pain I am in. My inexpensive office chair happens to be the one place in the house that is genuinely comfortable when I hurt like this, so here I am, and content to remain so as long as I can before I leave for the office to spend the day in chairs that are not at all comfortable for me.  Sometimes life feels like an endurance race, more than a gentle journey of discovery.

I would say more, about other things, perhaps; this morning I hurt enough that taking care of me is the focus of my will and my intention… that… and treating the world similarly well, with equal kindness. There’s a lot of pain out there. I would like very much not to be causing any of it. With that in mind, I go forth into the world to explore the day. Today is a good day to see change in the world.