Archives for category: gratitude

I’m sipping my coffee from the relative comfort of the office, having just put the finishing touches on the budget for this payday. I sigh quietly. The big gift-giving holiday of the year is behind me, now, and although the glow and warmth and merriment linger in my recollection and my sense of things, it’s definitely time to put my focus on paying the bills. We’ve got to pay for our fun, and this is a pretty solid, reliable truth of the human experience. Choose your adventure; pay the price of admission. There’s always a price to be paid. Big choices, small choices, moments of overreach, investments in a future we earnestly desire – doesn’t matter “what it’s all about”, sooner or later the bills come due. Running from it just makes the interest pile up (metaphorical or actual – things don’t get less expensive if we try to avoid paying the cost).

I sit with my osteo-arthritis pain; the bill I pay for choosing to live – and to do so without violence. That broken back that griefs me on the regular? I find it hard to feel real regret over that; I chose life, my actual own life, rather than face likely (imminent) death at the hands of my violent ex-husband. Was the price too high? Hardly. It was very much worth the price I’ve paid – and will continue to pay. Doesn’t make it less expensive.

Thankfully, most of the time the bills that come due in life are merely actual bills – the payments we have to make for some moment of fun we chose to have. This morning, I’m looking over my budget, grateful for the job that pays for the life my Traveling Partner and I are fortunate to share at this point in our lives. We’re not wealthy, and probably never will be (I don’t think it’s really a goal for either of us, honestly – we just want to enjoy “enough”), but the pantry is stocked, and we’ve got electricity, heat, running water, and highspeed internet. We’ve got books to read and a well-outfitted shop in which to make things (or fix things). We’ve got our little garden, and our life together. It’s enough. It is, in fact, the best life I’ve personally ever been so fortunate as to enjoy, and it’s definitely worth the price I pay when the bills come due. Isn’t that the important thing? That it feels worth it, I mean? That it feels like enough?

I sit with my gratitude in this quiet moment, hoping that this good time in our life together lasts a good long while. The future isn’t written and the world is full of turmoil. It’s hard to say where the future will take any of us, or how long one mortal life may last. I look over the budget one more time, and ask a question I know matters – although I don’t like to consider it; what can I do to protect my partner’s future from uncertainty if “the ultimate bill” comes due, and he’s left to go on without me? I don’t run from that thought these days – it’s too important to overlook it, and the bills always come due, eventually. That was a hard lesson to learn, but it’s an important one. So, I recommit myself to freedom from debt and building our savings; if either of us is left to deal with life alone, it’d be nice not to worry about debt. We have shared values and a shared understanding on this detail, and we plan together. It’s a partnership, for real. I smile to myself; it feels good to have a proper partner on life’s journey. More to be grateful for.

I sip my coffee. I breathe, exhale, and relax. It’s a mortal life, sure, but so worth taking time to savor each precious moment. I look at the calendar – 4 more days to the near year. Already? Already. Time to begin again.

Alright, People, here we all are, Giftmas is over, and it’s time to get back to work, do the math, pay the bills, and pay attention to what’s going on around us. It’s time to begin again, isn’t it?

…What a lovely holiday it was…

A nice little stack of books.

Among my gifts this year, a book that may well be among the most important I’ll ever read (I’ve already started it). On Tyranny, by Timothy Snyder. I definitely recommend it.

Among the most attention-getting, thought-provoking videos I watched this holiday season was “Why Billionaires Should Be Illegal” by The Market Exit. I recommend both the video and the channel.

Isn’t it time to “level up”? Your survival may depend on it… Just saying, it wouldn’t hurt to continue to learn, and grow, and develop your intellect, and to think critically about the world. Standing around being outraged by the latest repeat of the news and firing off annoyed social media posts is sort of … ineffective, wouldn’t you say? It’s quite likely that people in power count on you being ineffective, ill-informed, and emotionally over-stimulated. My opinion. Perhaps I think too much…

I enjoyed some “me time” this week, focused on art, thinking about next steps for enhancing my selection of hues in my [relatively recently] chosen medium of pastels. I’d rather not compromise on quality or personal preference, and in my case that means I’ll need to break things down and plan ahead; colors are expensive. It’s worth it to put this amount of consideration into something I love so much (a lesson well-learned). I looked over my plan again this morning over my coffee, while some other portion of my brain thought about the book I’m reading, and the state of the world. Which colors must come first to say what I don’t have words for? It’s something I think about a lot.

No walk this morning. The wind was blowing ferociously, and the rain was falling hard – sideways. The streets were littered with downed tree branches, and in a couple spots there were road closures. As I drove toward the trailhead, in the direction of the office, I passed through Newberg; all the lights were out, and the signal lights at each intersection were dark. I passed through Sherwood, too; the lights were out, here and there, and the traffic signals at intersections were all flashing red in all directions. There was lightening at regular intervals in the sky to the north. Nope. No walk today. I went on to the office. It’s empty, and I have this space alone this morning. I arrive first; no coffee. There’s a sign at the reception desk – no receptionist today. They’re on holiday. It’ll likely be a very quiet day here. I pour a cold brew into a clean glass and get started. It’s definitely time to begin again.

…5 days until the clock runs out on 2024…

I’m at the trailhead, changing shoes for boots, and appreciating the quite nice Alpaca hiking socks I got for Giftmas from the Anxious Adventurer. They’re cozy and splendidly comfortable, durable and warm. I’m enjoying a chance to walk this trail in the drizzly daylight of Giftmas day. I have it to myself. I smile, and sigh to myself, filled to overflowing with contentment and joy, and yes – I feel happy. Thoroughly actually happy, which is a sufficiently rare feeling that I am inclined to savor it with a grin, and my whole self, fully present. I get on with my walk.

Gray and drizzly on the outside.

I get to my preferred halfway point. The rain isn’t much as rain goes around here, but even so, I’m grateful for the pause in the fairly steady drizzle, while I stop for a moment. The rock I’m sitting on is mostly dry. I covered it with my fleece to keep from getting my jeans damp as I sit. It’s a mild afternoon. After I get home, I’ll get started in dinner tasks. I’m making a roast in the Dutch oven. Should be tasty.

I smile to myself like a kid, without embarrassment or reserve; it’s been a wholly splendid merry holiday and I am still all aglow inside from merry-making and joy. We woke early, my Traveling Partner and I. We opened our stockings together, while the Anxious Adventurer slept, and later enjoyed watching him open his. So fun!! Then the gifts. We took them in turns, enjoying the moment with each other as each new treasure was revealed. Wow. Just… Wow. So much fun. I’m sure there are folks who spent more, or gave more lavishly, or selected more exotic gifts, but there’s no way anyone put more love into their holiday than we did into ours. I’m still reeling from how loved I feel. How…”visible”.

… This is definitely among my top ten best Giftmas holidays ever. Maybe in my top 5 (and I’m including childhood holidays, when Santa was as real as any other person)

Like a software upgrade for a human primate.

I’m eager to read each of the books I got (and there are several, each amazing), and to get started putting my own recipes into the new personal recipe book my Traveling Partner got me. It’s really nice and a great improvement over the tattered old one that has lingered from my first marriage. Everything about this holiday feels so… perfect. Crazy. Not sustainable, obviously, but I don’t expect such intense feelings of joy, delight, and satisfaction to endure. It’s a moment. Quite a splendid memorable happy moment, worth savoring and cherishing. It’s already time to begin again, though. Moments pass.

I smile to myself, thinking my thoughts. I gaze down the trail. It’s sprinkling again. Time to walk on. I feel refreshed by the walk in the fresh winter air. I’m grateful for the mild weather, rain and all. I think ahead to making dinner. It’s not a fancy menu, but the roast is a good cut of beef, by itself a treat. So many of these delightful holiday moments have been built on “simple ingredients”, handled well. There’s something to learn there.

I let my smile lift me to my feet. I breathe, exhale, and relax. Time to begin again.

When I left the house for my walk this morning, it was a mild, almost warm, morning. Everything was soggy after a night of rain, but it wasn’t raining. I got to the trailhead and got going down the paved local trail I favor, in the pre-dawn darkness. I stepped along contentedly, well rested, and not in much pain at all. Nice start to a merry Giftmas eve day.

Now I’m sitting in the seat of a convenient piece of construction equipment, waiting for a surprise downpour to pass before I continue. It’s raining quite hard. The sun is not yet up, and I listen to the rain in the darkness, pounding the top of the cab of this… bucket loader? I think that’s what it’s called. I don’t remember with certainty, but sitting here I am reminded of a very different time in my life, in a different place. I’m grateful that the cab wasn’t locked. I’m warm and dry. Waiting.

On my way to the trailhead I saw Santa’s reindeer prancing down the road. Not really, but it sure gave that impression to see a group of men running together, decked in holiday lights over their reflective vests, and some wearing fun headgear that looked like antlers. The guy in front was wearing a light-up red nose – very Rudolph. I grinned with delight as I passed. They were singing carols. I sang along as I drove on by. I fucking love this holiday!

… I wish I had a cup of coffee…

Merry Giftmas, y’all! Don’t kill anyone today, please, nor tomorrow. Actually, while we’re talking about it, maybe just don’t kill anyone, ever? Just don’t let your anger or despair get out of hand in that unacceptable fashion, please. Enjoy the holiday. Sit back with a hot cup of something and be merry, sharing comfort, and yes, joy. Phone a far away old friend. Send holiday greetings to people you remember and miss. Share tales of Giftmases past. Give a gift. Give a moment of kindness. Be the change you wish to see in the world. It’s too easy to do better to pass up that chance. ‘Tis the season, after all.

The rain stops. I smile in the darkness and wonder where I might go for a quiet holiday coffee, or whether to simply return home to enjoy the morning in the festive glow of the merrily lit Yule tree? …Or maybe even crawl back into the warm tangle of cozy blankets as my Traveling Partner sleeps, and nap a little myself…? It’s Giftmas eve (day), and I have options. Time to begin again! I finish my writing, and adjust my headlamp and get back on the trail.

My sleep was disturbed and restless and the night seemed to pass slowly. My dreams were unsettling, but not actually nightmares. I went to bed in pain after an unproductive day struggling to manage pain and still get some housework done. The Giftmas holiday is almost here and I’d like the living room to be quite presentable in photographs. Seems reasonable – my pain and energy level may have the last word, in spite of my intentions.

I woke still in pain. (Fuck pain.) I started my day in a routine way. It’s the last work shift for me before the holiday. We settled on fried rice for Giftmas eve dinner; I remind myself to make rice after work today so I have that ready to use for tomorrow evening. After some discussion, we decided a simple breakfast of scrambled eggs, link sausages, and toast would be lovely for Giftmas morning. We all know we’re likely to over-indulge in rich treats and favorite sweets, and a hearty protein-rich breakfast will be a nice balance. My Traveling Partner spoke up in the evening, yesterday, and asked for roast beef for Giftmas dinner. Looks like I need to make a trip to the store for a roast, and some potatoes (for mashing), and a vegetable… and maybe some nice dinner rolls? (I could bake, but fucking hell, I’m just one woman.) It all sounds lovely.

I sit quietly for a moment, just thinking it over. Not planning, or “walking myself through it” in any sort of tactical way, just imagining the moments, the flavors, and the warm sentiment. Family at home for the holidays. Wholesome. There won’t be any shootings or violence at our house over the holidays; that’s not who we are. Hell, there may not be any harsh words or impatience, though we’re human and there certainly could be. There will be love and joy and humor and gratitude and fun. There will be celebration and looking ahead to another year. There will be tasty meals and delightful treats, and gifts to enjoy once opened.

… Here’s an important question; in a household of adults only, is it coffee and breakfast first, or gifts first? I chuckle to myself. I’m like a child over Giftmas and often forget we can easily wait, easily take time with all of it. We can even sleep in, if we can sleep. There’s no rush…

A wonderful Giftmas time

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I’m excited for the holiday, but recognize how easily excitement can become anxiety or irritability. I remind myself to put love first, to listen deeply, to be mindful of social cues and patient with those around me. We’re enjoying this together, but we’re each having our own experience. I sit with my feelings of contentment and quiet excitement. For now, that’s enough.