Archives for category: Metaphors

I woke more or less on time, with my headache “turned up to 11” this morning, aware of a sense of change, but feeling that for the most part all is well. There’s just a lot of work to do this weekend to get the household settled and begin finding our way, each of us, to our “new normal”, new routines, new practices, and new shared courtesies. It’s fine. This is not a surprise; my Traveling Partner’s son arrived and began moving in yesterday.

Frankly I am more grateful to have some help with things while my partner is injured than I am disrupted by the additional human presence in our little home. Surely it’s big enough for 3 adults, family, each willing to work together cooperatively (most of the time). It’s a new day.

What’s on the horizon? More than I can see from here.

Today leads into a weekend likely to be mostly manual labor and moving in tasks.  For me that means moving a lot of art and art supplies into storage temporarily (this arrangement is not planned to be permanent), and turning my wee library back into a functional bedroom for my Traveling Partner’s son. This seems only reasonable, and I’d rather not step over/around him sleeping on the floor in the living room indefinitely. lol There is work involved… We get started this morning.

In the meantime, I’m doing my best to maintain the practices that keep me well, healthy, and contented, as much as I can. There’s work involved in that too, and I only have so many spoons. The unfolded, not yet hung up or put away, basket of laundry on the floor, left unfinished last night out of pure exhaustion is a reminder, and a warning; plan with care, and expect change. There’s always more to do, but there isn’t always the time or energy left to get it done.

… Is this a test? This feels like a test…

The morning is quiet and lovely. I’m grateful for these quiet solitary minutes. Short walk. A bit of writing. Heavy gray clouds drift sluggishly across the sky. Where does this path lead? I guess I find out by walking it.

… It’s time to begin, again.

Busy, productive weekend. Even feels like my Traveling Partner and I connected more deeply in some important ways than we have in a while. That feels pretty good. Fucking hell, though, life is a bit stressful and I am so tired. It’s just ordinary human fatigue of the sort that results from pushing one’s self too hard to do too much for too long. It’s a familiar feeling, though it has been awhile since it could “so easily” pull me down like this.

… I woke disoriented, unclear about when or where I was this morning, confused by the clothes I had laid out for today (“Where’s my uniform…?) and feeling the purposeful “relaxed tension” of military readiness – until I moved, and my aching back reminded me that time has passed and I am not that strong, aggressive, laser-focused, mission-driven, can-do young woman who thought she understood who the good guys are, and what the point of it all might be. lol Weird way to wake up. I feel exhausted before the day begins, and there is already (still) so much to do… I could definitely use the energy of that younger self!

…and also? Fuck this headache.

Emotionally, I feel like I am treading water, not yet at risk of drowning, but too fucking far from shore to feel secure facing this predicament. Life is “a lot”, right now. I’m doing my best. Sometimes, maybe even most of the time, it’s enough, but I sure don’t feel like I can count on that.

It’s fine. I’m fine.

Work is fine. Love is fine. Life is… complicated. 2 out of three in the “wins” column? I probably shouldn’t bitch, I’ve had it much worse. Hell, life isn’t bad, just complicated right now. There’s a lot going on, and change is in motion (some of it I chose myself, and while I can certainly question my timing, I can’t really complain about getting what I asked for).

I breathe, exhale, and relax. Self-care becomes huge at times like these, and I tend to do well if I already have firm reliable self-care practices in place that are habitual and just part of everyday life. I’m kicking myself a bit over self-care failures over time, recently, but trying to also be kind to myself. “Just begin again. Keep practicing.” I remind myself.

The morning feels chilly, though it’s a mild 51°F this morning. I don’t need a jacket as I walk, but quickly notice the cool of morning when I paused to take pictures. Sitting here at the halfway point, I regret the sleeveless top I’m wearing, though I know it will feel like a good choice in the heat of the afternoon, later.

I sit with my thoughts. I won’t sit for long. I’m filled with restless energy that needs an outlet. That’s okay, it’s a work day, and my to-do list is rather long, presently – there’s no shortage of shit to do, or things that need my attention. I’m presently faced with a to-do list that continues to grow slightly faster than I am working it off, so running out of shit to do? Not a challenge I have to deal with. lol I guess I am grateful? I probably should be.

The sun rises above the hills on the horizon, golden and bright. A new day ahead. What will I do with it? When night comes, will I be satisfied with how I spent my time? How will I care for this fragile vessel? Can I tread water long enough to reach the shore? (Metaphorically speaking, swimming might be a better choice…)

I breathe, exhale, and relax. Soon it will be time to begin again, to face the next challenge, the next moment, and the expectations of the woman in the mirror. I’ll do my best – that will have to be enough.

We become what we practice. Feels like a good day to practice maintaining perspective, and non-attachment, a good day to practice kindness, compassion and consideration. I’m definitely going to need the practice… I’m very human and my results vary.

…Change is. Are you ready for it? Time is short, and the clock is ticking…

Before I can ever answer the question “how do I get there?”, I guess it’s necessary to have some understanding of where it is I am wanting to go…

Beginning again starts… somewhere.

Yesterday was a very nice day, marred only slightly by a too-common moment of discord that seems, now, both completely unnecessary and also entirely human. I breathe, exhale, and let that go; there is no need to let it define the day.

I was on the trail this morning shortly after daybreak. I had the trail to myself. I enjoy the quiet time spent with my own thoughts. These morning walks and meditative interludes along a quiet trail are keeping me sane. Mostly. I would do well to do more, better, with regard to my self-care, and I am aware of it. I sigh and file that thought under “I’m doing the best I can” and promise myself to give it more thought another time.

Today I’ll begin the work of moving things around in the house to accommodate my Traveling Partner’s son for some little while. I’m simultaneously eager to be helpful with getting him a good start in the community here, and also saddened to be giving up my wee library (and meditation space) and having to compress my art studio to become my “everything space”. It’s the only way to comfortably make room for a third adult human being. I have no objection to making the necessary changes… I just worry a bit that they won’t be as temporary as discussed going into it, and I’m going to have to be diligent about my self-care and making a point to get the time I need away from people. It’s probably going to be a bit more difficult in some ways, but probably easier in others.

… There’s definitely a bunch of manual labor involved in these changes, and I will need to manage my time and energy with care…

I sit with my thoughts awhile, at the halfway point of my walk. I’ve got a few things on my mind and most of those center on how I can most successfully reduce my day-to-day stress, and also how to develop more resistance to being provoked into anger or anxiety. I’m not as resilient as I am able to be when I live alone, and there are a great many triggers in my environment. Adding another person to my living situation doesn’t make things easier. Once my PTSD flares up, it can be very difficult to regain perspective and emotional balance. I’d very much like to improve that situation and enjoy more lasting calm and contentment, and realistically can’t count on anyone else to “make that easy”. The verbs and practices are mine. My results vary.

… Humans are going to be human…

… We’re each having our own experience…

I breathe, exhale, and relax, aware for a moment that there are no notifications buzzing my arm; I’m wearing a watch, instead of a connected wearable device tracking my every action and pinging me with reminders. It’s quite nice. I even remembered to take my morning medication without any of that. I smile when I recall that my Traveling Partner picked this watch with me in mind. I like it very much.

Another reminder that I am loved.

The sun is well up in the morning sky. Looks like another hot summer day ahead. My step son messages me that he’s on the way to pick up the U-haul truck for his move. Events are in motion. Change is. There’s much to do. It’s already time to begin again…

I breathe, exhale, and relax, and prepare to head back up the trail.

Pretty morning. Splendid sunrise. I slept well, and with no regrets I slept without my sleep tracker on my wrist. Did that change the quality of my sleep? Maybe. Maybe not. But… Maybe.

The first sunrise of summer.

Without regard to sleep quality, I’d be giving up the sleep tracker anyway; my wearable is no longer supported by the manufacturer, and the new phone I’ve just moved into isn’t the same brand and “doesn’t play nicely” with my old wearable. Totally fine, I think I am effectively done with trying to capture all that biometric data. It was initially useful and sometimes eye-opening, but that hasn’t been the case for a while, and the device itself just tethers me to my phone, and pings me fucking constantly. Over it.

Father’s Day got my Traveling Partner and I talking about watches, time, and time pieces, after I gifted him a modest field watch for everyday wear.

Practical and basic.

I guess I’ve missed wearing a watch. 😆 I gave that up years ago, before I ever began wearing a connected device, (because I had such an unhealthy and stressful relationship with time). That was so very long ago that it’s just not a thing anymore, even to the slightest degree. I don’t have panic attacks over being a couple minutes late. I don’t freak out if someone else creates conditions that throw carefully timed plans into chaos. (Hell, I rarely make “carefully timed plans” with the sort of inflexible precision that they could so easily be wrecked by timing, at all.)

So… I’m contentedly re-embracing wearing a watch. It’s not as if that’s super necessary, either. My phone is almost always very nearby, and I can easily check the time. I like the look of a watch. Elegant or practical. Fancy or plain. There’s something amazing about a watch. Such a finely crafted tiny piece of machinery capable of so much precision! Impressive among human achievements in the way bound books, libraries, and printing presses are impressive. These things are among our best human achievements.

Fancy and fun.

I have a lovely fun watch my Traveling Partner gifted me. It’s pretty, and a bit fancy for everyday. I enjoy wearing it (even more lately), but it isn’t quite the right choice for everyday wear. We’ve spent fun hours this week talking about watches and casually shopping together for watches we might like to own, and getting to know this facet of each other’s personal style. Selecting a watch is every bit as intimate as lingerie. It’s been an extraordinary way to connect and be close. Fun.

… The clock is always ticking…

I sit with happy thoughts, early on a Friday morning. The Solstice was yesterday. Ordinary enough day. I worked.  It was quite a hot day for the first day of summer. Fitting. Today is likely to be similarly hot. I’m okay with it – and grateful to have AC.

I sit thinking about time, and watches, and watching time. In some upcoming future moment, I will begin again… in the meantime, it’s enough to be here, now. Watching the sun rise on a summer morning, unconcerned about the time.

I’m sitting next to the trail on a convenient bench, having paused on the way back to the car from my morning walk. I was up too early and started the morning vexed by interrupted sleep and my Traveling Partner’s cross tone, but otherwise it’s a lovely morning, and the sunrise was pleasant. I’m working on it getting over my shitty mood, because at this point I am still the only person being affected by it, and it’s just fucking dumb to endure this shit.

… This is already shaping up to be the sort of day where I just don’t want to see or talk to anyone. At all. Unfortunately, that’s rarely an option on a work day. I sigh out loud and prepare myself for the inevitable requirement to deal with people…

There are still flowers to enjoy along the trail.

Fuck this headache and this shitty mood. Just saying… I’ve got to begin again. Maybe more than once.

My Traveling Partner pings me and asks me to work from home after my walk. I agree, understanding that he needs help with things. I try to avoid feeling cross about it and look for opportunities to feel grateful that I can so easily be there for him.

… Just begin again, again, I tell myself…

My thoughts had started somewhere else entirely this morning, but my crappy mood, early wake up, and headache derailed my more positive musings about time and watches. I’m annoyed by that. The morning is off to a poor start in spite of the beautiful sunrise. Fuck. This. Shit. I really need a do-over, but the best I’ll get is a new beginning. Hell, that’s not a bad thing… But my results may vary. Success is not guaranteed. This is a very human experience.

… Breathe, exhale, relax…

Begin again.

Some time later (about 2 hours):

The future isn’t written. Change is. It’s important to be able to see a win when circumstances bring it, and to accept success when it is offered. Life is a peculiar journey some days, and the path is not clearly marked. It’s a bit later in the morning, and my day quickly went from “what the fuck?!” and “why do I even try??” to “what a nice day this is…”, over a short handful of minutes and an opportunity to pivot to the win when it came.

…I’m grateful for my Traveling Partner…

I got a lucky break this morning, when my Traveling Partner reached out to me as I headed back home to provide support and care-giving during the work day; he was doing better. He encouraged me to follow my original plan for the day, and asked me to run an errand on my way home, instead of working from home, after all. I could have let that additional change cause me further stress… and it would have been quite like me to do that, years ago (and considering how human I am, it’s always a risk, eh?). Instead, I allowed myself to change, then change again, and here I am. It feels like a lovely morning. There’s something to be learned from this.

…I hope I learn it…

…I begin again. Again. It’s a lovely day for it. 😀