Archives for category: Parables

Another morning. Another day. Another opportunity to change what isn’t comfortable, or doesn’t suit my needs over time. Another moment to be present. Another chance to choose wisely, and to begin again.

Honestly, it’s also just a Wednesday. 😉

I take a deep breath, and relax. Life is exceedingly busy right now, almost unpleasantly so, although still manageable. Uncomfortable at times. Other times intensely rewarding. Goals, and plans carefully made, achievements within reach, and strange unexpected twists in circumstance sending other whole towers of carefully built plans cascading down into… just memories of plans. Life.

I sip my coffee. I’m back to carefully crafted pour overs after a summer of chilled infused cold brew in cans. lol. More frugal? Hardly – well-selected, locally roasted coffee beans are still a bit of a luxury, honestly, aren’t they? Hell, generally, coffee beans aren’t even sold by the pound any more; 12 oz is the standard bag size now, and it’s easy enough to spend $20 for 12 oz of coffee. More for something really special. Commonplace to spend $15 for 12 oz of whole bean coffee. I could, instead, choose a 30 oz can of some name brand, pre-ground, medium roast finely ground coffee manufactured for a very consistent reliably modestly awful drip coffee experience for less than $7. The difference in price per cup is pretty staggering. It’s 60 cups of potentially great coffee, compared to 180 cups of potentially (definitely) not-as-great coffee, but the difference in how those experiences compare isn’t actually about the money at all. A rushed expensive latte handed through a drive-through window is both costly, and also far less likely to deliver a noteworthy moment, than a fairly terrible cup of bad drip coffee taken in a quiet place, present, and able to immerse myself in a moment of contemplation and contentment. It’s not about the money. Really. It’s time to let that shit go.

Choose your experiences wisely.

Take time for moments that matter. Pause to reflect.

Morning coffee as a metaphor for choices? Every day. 😉

Today I’ll make my choices in a thoughtful way. It’s time to begin again.

Oddly, the title on this one has nothing whatever to do with the content. There’s probably a metaphor in that, somewhere. 😉

I’m sipping my coffee and thinking about breakfast. It’s quite early; I got up at 5:00 am, and on a Saturday morning, many breakfast places that are not of the 24-hour variety aren’t even open. I’ve got time to consider it. Do I even want to spend the money? Leave the house? Make the drive? Do I even know where I’d want to go? When I consider the effort and bother, is it greater or less than the effort to make breakfast at home? (Less, so much less. lol) I spend a contented half hour on Google Maps searching “breakfast near me”, entertained by the fantasy of having breakfast out.

I straight up love breakfast out, and brunch is probably my favorite meal, ever, followed closely by high tea at the other end of a day. Lunch? Lunch is generally a compromised meal, taken hurriedly at my desk, while I work, or grabbed along the way on a weekend day. I rarely sit down for a proper lunch. Dinner? Meh. Dinner can be fancy, simple, elegant, ordinary – all the things – it can be at home or out, just as with breakfast and brunch, obviously, but dinner? It’s grown to bore me, somehow. I do my best with it. I rarely daydream about dinners. lol Thanksgiving. High holidays. That’s where dinner has some appeal for me, generally.

Here it is Saturday morning. I’m awake. I’m hungry. I have no interest in messing up my clean kitchen, or doing so and then having to restore its sparkle. lol I don’t have on hand the sort of things I both enjoy and can easily have, which also support my dietary needs. Well, that’s not entirely the case… I could poach a couple of eggs and rest them tastily on a bed of wilted greens, and eat them with some fresh fruit and hot coffee. Totally a thing I can – and do – have for breakfast, regularly. It’s not what I want. I want the fantasy of breakfast out. lol

We dream of the things that are often just out of reach, whether that’s for always or for the moment may be a matter of circumstance – but it could also be a choice. This morning, I’m definitely in decision-making territory on this one. I could go out to breakfast. Totally could. Is it the wise choice? Mmm… possibly not. As mistakes go, though, it’s not super costly (from this vantage point, before making the possible mistake)… I’d earnestly like to talk myself into it, or out of it, but at any rate, the indecision is beginning to shift from delightful moment of contemplation of a much-loved meal to feeling a tad aggravated with the whole matter; I’m hungry. My blood sugar is probably starting to decline.

Here’s the part of the journey where I have to commit to self-care or foolishness, and either admit that I am not going to care for myself well, or quick fucking about and take care of this fragile vessel! 😀

The fantasy, of course, is an elegant brunch on the order of a feast – seemingly endless choices, exceptionally well-prepared from only the very highest quality ingredients, offered at an honest price – and all at my whim, with an excellent cup of coffee, besides. I get some major mileage out of my daydreams; there is no such meal to be had within miles and miles and miles. LOL I could, however, drive to a restaurant specializing in breakfast, once they open, queue up with all the other folks seeking an exceptional breakfast, deal with the stares and discomfort of being a plump middle-aged woman eating alone, make a careful choice from a limited menu and drink a fairly terrible cup of shitty diner coffee with an otherwise agreeably delicious meal… easy win there. Lots of choices.

Making a choice, even an “easy” one, can be… hard. Too many options. LOL The options are all rather similar. Too little variety. Americans, in general, seem to have a fairly limited palate, actually, and don’t much go for “weird food” (anything that isn’t entirely ordinary and generally fairly bland and familiar), this inevitably limits what is available. Businesses tend to cater to the greatest demand.

I finally get sufficiently frustrated with the entire concept of breakfast or brunch or meals or choices that I smash up a couple hard-boiled eggs in a bowl, microwave them with a drizzle of olive oil, some sea salt and black pepper, with some left over veggies, and eat them contentedly. It’s enough. It is, in fact, sufficient to the point that I lose interest in food entirely for the time being… and just…

…Enjoy the metaphor of a foggy morning – remaking the experience with choices…

…And begin again. There’s an entire day ahead to enjoy. 🙂

I guess, being so close to Halloween, I can’t really bitch too much about a good scare… but… I sure wasted some precious writing time having a wee freak out. lol

I sat down this morning with my coffee, a bit groggy, still waking up… A small white-ish spider scurried from under my laptop and raced along the edge to the desk and disappeared. Ick. Not a fan, really. I don’t suffer from arachnophobia any more, but I also definitely do not want spiders in my immediate personal space, or… on me. Ick. Nope. All the nope.

I was keeping half a wary eye out for that spider to come back. This was not sufficient to prepare me for Spider-geddon, at all. Oh yeah. It was… extra. Definitely more than enough spiders, when that one wee white-ish spider zipping along became what seemed like fucking dozens of wee spiders spilling out from the keyboard tray, just behind/under my actual damned keyboard. No. Nonononononononono. Not any of this. At all. Fucking hell. ICK. Fuck no.

…It wasn’t Spider-geddon because there were spiders and I object to that. No, not really. It was Spider-geddon because of all the murders that immediately ensued as I began my campaign of death against them. Yeah. Straight up. Killed mostly all of them, and wiped their ancestral home from existence. I left no survivors – or so I told myself with grim satisfaction. Yikes.

My morning is interrupted. One last panicked shiver runs up my spine as I wash my hands, after also re-applying a barrier spray where needed. Autumn in Oregon. Showers of spiders. Avalanches of spiders. Corners, crevasses, and dark spaces filled with spiders. So not okay. Stay off my desk, damn.

Weekend project? I’m definitely tidying up my fucking desk!

It’s time to begin again. 😀

I sat in traffic seething, most of the way home. I got home feeling aggravated, mostly without any reason for it. It had been a difficult (and weird) day in the office, but honestly none of it really needed an emotional response, so… what was up with me? 0_o

I wasn’t having an easy time sorting it out, and a flash of inspiration took me back to childhood.

…Oh, I remember… 🙂

There were these coloring pages, nearly always captioned “what’s wrong with this picture”, with the goal to find the “mistakes” in the image. From that moment of inspired recollection, I moved on to visualizing myself, exactly as I was, and started “looking for the mistakes” in a self-care context.

  1. Was I in pain? Yeah, that was probably contributing to my experience, for sure.
  2. Was I thirsty? Well, I’d had nothing but coffee yet… and it was well past 3 pm, so… probably. Shit.
  3. Was I hungry? Shit. I’d entirely overlooked any sort of lunch, so… yeah. Low blood sugar, too, probably. Shit.
  4. What about medication, was I on track for all that, too? Well… no. Hardly.
  5. …And I hadn’t even gotten up from my desk once aside from going to two meetings on my calendar. Yikes.

No wonder I was cranky and feeling disproportionately angry with small things. Who wouldn’t be angry after being treated in such a crappy way all fucking day? I went ahead and chilled the fuck out, calmed myself with reminders that I could, in fact, manage my behavior 100%, regardless how I experience my emotions in the moment. (What a relief, eh?)(Seriously – can be done. You control your behavior completely.)

I got home safely. I rarely take OTC pain relievers (for good reasons), and last night I made an exception; it made a difference pretty quickly. I had a big big glass of cold water – from the tap – and took time to experience and savor the moment of gratitude that I have safe drinking water on tap. I made a fluffy scramble of eggs and chopped dark leafy greens of various sorts, and enjoyed having refrigeration and a decently well-stocked pantry. I generously partook of the tasty cannabis at hand. My nerves unwound. I found myself feeling more than soothed… merry? Content, certainly.

Take care of this fragile vessel, humans, and this fragile vessel will insulate you from a lot of drama and bullshit. Treat it like crap, and a crappy experience is what you can expect to endure. Just saying. Don’t make it harder than it has to be. lol

Today? Today I’ll do better. Today? Today, I’ll begin again. 😀

I am sipping my coffee in a state of contentment and feeling generally okay after an entire day of rest, following the recreational weekend. It’s worth it to take time to get adequately rested. So often, I enjoy a great time, let that occasion undermine my self-care, and move on to a new work week, and interacting with people, without “getting caught up”, and really caring for myself. It’s a poor choice to take that approach.

How much Monday misery is fully and wholly a byproduct of enthusiastic weekend endeavors? Probably quite a lot of it, and I suspect that Monday’s reputation for being a shitty day of the week is caused more by hangovers of various sorts, than by any actual day-of-week-related flaw. (Don’t even start with me about how you “don’t get hangovers”; the science suggests otherwise, and if you don’t like the word, don’t use the word, but for fuck’s sake don’t bullshit yourself about needed after-care!)

I’m sitting here grateful to be more aware of such things than I was when I was in my 20s – my quality of life could have been so much better, and there could have been so much less fucking drama! “Self-care” was not in my vocabulary.

I smile, and sip my coffee. Yeah… I don’t even try to go off the coffee. I recognize the irony. I don’t avert my eyes from the lessons I learn about addiction, generally, and good self-care, just because this particular intoxicant is legal. The legality of any given intoxicant has not one thing to do with whether it is effective, or what effects it actually has, or whether there is a hangover. Words are not experiences. Experiences exist independent of the words we use to describe them.

Take care of yourselves out there in the world, Party People! It’s Monday. Tomorrow is “terrible Tuesday”, too, and intoxicants vary widely in both effect, and duration of effect. If you’re working, you may not be at your best. That annoying argument? Probably a byproduct of your chemistry – you’re usually so much more reasonable, and measured in your responses. That flare up of bad temper? Yeah, excessive is a good word for that – it’s worth reminding yourself that you’re probably prone to being a bit over-reactive right now. You could do better. Are you drinking enough water? Have you had nutritionally dense healthy calories? Have you gotten the rest you need? You don’t need to dissolve into a private emo nightmare of drama and woe – you can practice good self-care, and heighten your self-awareness. Being more considerate of yourself (and, let’s be frank, of others) may ease some of the (literal) headaches of a (hungover) Monday… I’m just saying; you have choices. 😉 Your results may vary, but you can choose how to deal with that, too. 🙂

…Adulting takes so much practice. Have you “already completely fucked this day up”? Just begin again. ❤