Archives for posts with tag: autumn leaves

I’d like this to be a lovely bit of prose, whimsical and poetic, about autumn and about evening. It isn’t at all. I’m not sure what it is yet, other than distracted and interrupted…but it is autumn, it is evening, and I am distracted and interrupted by the noise and conversation of the concrete finishing crew working immediately outside my front door at this very minute, shortly before 6:00 pm.

I dislike how near to the world, exposed, and vulnerable I feel with the workers so incredibly close that I can clearly hear their conversation and see their movement through the front blinds. I feel less safe, and less private. I know that I am adequately safe, and adequately private in my day-to-day experience. I know that when the work is finished this will once again be a quiet home. Right now? Right now this is nothing that can be described as quiet and I am annoyed to have to pay rent – when I feel, fairly often, that the most important thing to be paying for with the rent is the fucking privacy and quiet. Well, if nothing else, I have learned how very much I need my home to be a quiet place – surely the knowledge will stop me from buying a place that isn’t. (I can hope.)

A leisurely shower, dinner in the oven, unhurried yoga, a few minutes writing… it is a thoroughly pleasant evening when I am able to forget, however briefly, about the noisy workmen, or at least refrain from becoming emotionally invested in moments of annoyance or resentment. It’s worth maintaining perspective; the work being done benefits the entire community, and matters to me as well. The workmen are aware of me, and there has been sufficient communication that they are – when they think to be – making efforts to minimize how disrupting this is for me (and for my neighbors). They are quite a polite and considerate construction crew, generally – it’s still work, there are still verbs – and communication – involved. No way around it, some of this shit is disruptive; it’s not a personal attack. 🙂

A lovely autumn evening; little annoyances don't have to matter. I let them fall like leaves.

A lovely autumn evening; little annoyances don’t have to matter. I let them fall like leaves.

So here I am now. Relaxed. Content. Taking time for me, making room in my heart for awareness, perspective, and compassion, and generally enjoying my evening in spite of the noise, in spite of the disruptions, in spite of the shadows just behind the window blinds. It’s a pleasant evening, and there’s really nothing ‘extra’ that I need right now. This is enough. 🙂

 

I stepped out of the office into the sunshine still feeling the weight of work on my shoulders, and clogging my thoughts. I stopped, just stopped, right there in front of the entryway, and stood. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, letting my shoulders relax, and looking into the azure autumn sky.

A beautiful blue change of perspective.

A beautiful blue change of perspective.

I decided to take a longer route home around and through the park, enjoying the changing colors as the afternoon sky began to deepen, taking on qualities that would soon become twilight. I didn’t hurry; it isn’t really far, and I would beat sunset home by quite a bit. There is nearly always time to linger, and savor life.

Enjoying the colors.

Enjoying the colors.

There is no rush.

Lingering.

Lingering.

No rush at all.

Savoring life.

Savoring life.

I eventually made my way home. A lovely walk on an autumn afternoon, listening to peeping frogs and birdsong, and the shuff-shuff of leaves beginning to accumulate in dry drifts until the next rainstorm as I kick them aside to watch them fly, a childhood bit of fun I still enjoy greatly.

These beautiful moments aren’t fancy, or exotic, or rare, or complicated – but they are extraordinarily lovely, reliably sweet and satisfying, and fill me with a sense of joy and love. Simple, sure – and mine. That’s enough. 🙂

Another strangely restless night, although I woke feeling refreshed and calm when it was done. Three days of disturbed sleep, now – or is it four? Why am I counting? Had I slept deeply and well for so long that this really seems… unusual? Wow. That’s an interesting way to reflect on real progress, growth, and change. lol.

This morning I don’t have much to say. I’ve a nice cup of coffee, not the best beans – so not the best brew. I’m satisfied with it, nonetheless. It doesn’t take that much this morning; I am content.

Rather than type a thousand words, I’ll share some pictures this morning and hope they carry something of value into your day. 😀

The last of the autumn roses, at dawn.

The last of the autumn roses, at dawn.

Down the road, across the field, along the way; here, too, autumn.

Down the road, across the field, along the way; here, too, autumn.

Autumn in suburban treetops.

Autumn in suburban treetops.

Autumn is my favorite season. It isn’t just the colors as the leaves change, it is something about the quality of light, the scents in the air, the feel of morning fog, and afternoon sunshine, a difference in the way the rain falls – or is it something else? I only know it is my favorite, and here I am with another autumn day ahead of me, filled with potential.

Today I will enjoy the joy I feel without reservations or fear that someone will come along and ‘take it all away’.

 

 

 

Here it is, Sunday, September 29th.  I’ve been looking forward to it eagerly since I decided to participate in the World Wide WP  5k . I’m actually excited about this – and I woke this morning eager to drop my camera into my pocket and be on my way… only…

Autumn in Oregon

Autumn in Oregon

It’s raining! It’s raining rather a lot and pretty hard most of the day, off and on..  I watched the rain spatter the windows this morning, while I sipped my coffee.  I splashed puddles on my way to work, momentarily forgetting dignity or consequences, reveling in the sheer joy of weather, and wonder, and fun.  I am undeterred by a handful of rain drops.  😀  I’m nearing the starting line, too.  Once my work day ends (around 5 pm), I’ll double-check my camera (fully charged this morning), and be on my way.

I am getting a late start, but I haven’t changed my mind.  So, here’s the route I’m taking, a well-lit, well-paved, orderly 3.2 suburban miles along the edge of light industry; a ‘walking meditation’ contemplating the connections between where I work, and where I live, and exploring change (it’s not a common route for me to take, and there’s a lot going on):

3.2 miles

3.2 miles

See you on the other side…

…I so wasn’t kidding about that. 😀  It’s later now, and I’m warm and dry and waiting for a pizza delivery, listening to ‘house music’ and relaxing while Autumn’s furor continues to rage outside.  It didn’t just rain… it rained with a drenching ferocity that dares me to use some trite worn metaphor. lol.

It began simply enough, with a first step.

More damp than daunting. lol

More damp than daunting. lol

I took some more steps after that, and I got in some pictures when I could, concerned with getting my little camera wet, initially…

Debris strewn sidewalks challenge my balance.

Debris strewn sidewalks challenge my balance.

I stopped worrying so much about the rain on my camera, when it became clear that I needed to attend to the fallen branches promising a serious misstep to the inattentive – there’s a metaphor in there, I’m sure of it.

Soon, wet feet were a much bigger deal than wet  weather!

Soon, wet feet were a much bigger deal than wet weather!

I learned the value of dry socks in the Army. I even keep an extra pair in my desk at work. My feet were soaked within a few minutes of starting out, when I carelessly misjudged my effort to step over a puddle crossing a street, and I spent much of the rest of the walk thinking about getting home to a hot shower and clean dry socks.

So many puddles!

So many puddles!

There’s a lot to be said for being out in nasty weather, cold, wet to the skin, and uncomfortable, for really putting hot running water, clean dry clothes, and a pizza-on-the-way high on my list of things to be happy about.

A suburban wilderness along the way.

A suburban wilderness along the way.

So many quiet hidden places to see, flashes of something other than industry and residence, between expanses of hedge, or wall, or fence. The rain came down so hard for much of the walk that it was impractical to take some of the pictures I’d have enjoyed sharing with you.

Closer to home, I head around a rainy bend.

Closer to home, I head around a rainy bend.

As I neared the end of the walk, my pace quickened, and the rain came down harder, and the wind blew my hood down.

Autumn leaves, and wind-tossed trees nearing the finish.

Autumn leaves, and wind-tossed trees nearing the finish.

I didn’t care at all.  Hood down, head up; I walked on – and possibly with a huge grin, because my face hurts like I have been smiling all day.  This. Was. Fun. So much fun. The rain didn’t matter.  Whether or not I took pictures didn’t really make a difference in the grander scheme of things.  I did this, because I can now – it was a very good experience. That matters. 😀