Archives for posts with tag: be the change

Something to Think About

September 28, 2018 //

Yesterday was hard. Just watching the world watching the Kavanaugh confirmation stuff going on was sufficiently painful to make for a difficult day. He’ll probably be confirmed. It’s a damning indictment against all of us, and this world we’ve built. Seriously. (I’m quite serious.)

…Which leads my morning musings elsewhere, because there’s more meat on this bone than one man’s plum lifetime government appointed gig; it’s about all of us. It’s about the way we listen. It’s about the way we treat others in their moments of pain, grief, and stress. It’s about how readily and easily we dismiss the concerns of others, most especially if we don’t experience life the same way, or suffer with the same disadvantages. It’s about privilege, and the dichotomy of having it versus not having it, and how confusing the chrysanthemum flower Venn diagram of privilege actually is, with its overlaps, and intersections. It’s about how little we care about the pain of strangers, and how quickly we minimize the pain of loved ones because (although we likely mean well) it is uncomfortable to share it.

Be considerate. Listen deeply. Understand that the experiences of others may not be your own – and that this does not invalidate those experiences! It’s less about trusting their narratives, and much less about their veracity and your willingness to believe, and so much about “basic human decency” and being considerate, just generally. I’m saying we could all do better on this one, and that we all do well to make the attempt.

I’m pretty fucking done with angry men shouting me down. I’m pretty fucking done with angry men deciding what my truth is. I’m pretty fucking done with being dismissed, diminished, shouted down, talked over, or patronized. I’m done with a whole fuck ton of bullshit. I’m pretty fucking angry, myself. So… what am I going to do about any of it? Well… I’ll for sure be voting. That’s one thing I can do. Speaking truth to power is another. Refusing to soften my tone, or yield my position, these are also things I can do. Already am. All those things. Still… I could do those things more skillfully, I’m sure.

It’s time, then, to begin again? Isn’t it always? 🙂

Tags and yet she persisted, be the change, begin again, don't rape me bro, equal, experience, fucking done with that bullshit, I am my own cartographer, I will not yield sir, listening deeply, MBSR, my home my rules my way, over it, perspective, practicing the practices, ptsd, rape culture, speak truth to power, taking care of me, TBI, The Art of Being, The Big 5, the map is not the world, there are verbs involved, walk on, walking my own path, what matters most?, you're not the boss of me

Categories Allegories, anger, Anxiety, autumn, Brain Injury, Despair, Free Will, Frustration, grief, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, more than a little bit of bitching, pain, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Practices, Rape, The Art of Being, The Big 5, War and News of War, Words

Find a Moment of Fun

September 27, 2018 //

I’m laughing. It’s still morning. I’m barely awake.

(I don’t actually really laugh, out loud, like, actually laughing laughing very often at all, and most often when I do it is at that ragged edge of hysteria, so this, for me is a real treat, to be just laughing, quite wholesomely and happily, with real delight.)

Still chuckling – over a website. A shopping website, in fact. An online point of sale for merchandise. No kidding. https://dicksbymail.com/ I stumbled on it as a link in a post in my feed this morning; not an ad, just a friend’s picture (I think… It’s getting harder to tell, more often).

Still laughing.

Yeah, there are definitely one or two folks in recent memory I would delightedly tell to “eat a bag of dicks”. Omg – and maybe I could send something “tasteful” to the Whitehouse? 😀

Still sitting here grinning and feeling quite alive and merry. It’s a good feeling. Go get some! 🙂

Humor – amusement – is a wonderful way to connect with people, and enjoy a shared moment (don’t be mean, that shit’s not actually funny, and you could break someone’s heart with that). I feel light and relieved of stress and hopeful… and merry. “Merry” may be one of my favorite emotions; as with contentment, it’s one that can be worked at quite directly with good success. Life feeling, in turns, quite content, and quite merry, would be amazing – even if I never actually felt something I would be inclined to call “happy”.

The resulting feeling of hopefulness and being uplifted is a great start to a new day. I think I’ll make my new beginning right here. 😀

Tags be here now, be the change, begin again, being and becoming, choose wisely, contentment, ease, eat a bag of dicks, emotional self sufficiency, feeling merry, fun, good self-care, hopefulness, humor, I am my own cartographer, laughter, mindfulness, perspective, practicing the practices, ptsd, relief, TBI, The Art of Being, there are verbs involved, walking my own path, what matters most?

Categories Allegories, Anxiety, autumn, Brain Injury, Free Will, Healthy Living, inspiration, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Practices, The Art of Being

One Very Good Day

September 26, 2018 //

Yesterday was a good one. Productive at work, minimum hassles, an easy commute in both directions, a comfortably chill evening that was also an evening on which I got a few things done; it was lovely.

I sit sipping my coffee and considering it, smiling, feeling content. It’s not that it’s some specific requirement to give yesterday more time, today; it’s just a great practice to make time to savor good moments. Doing so regularly has the power to slowly rewire my brain to be more easily able to bounce back from stress, to live in the context of implicit recollection (and limited certainty) that more difficult moments will be quite temporary, and that life is, generally, good. I have found it a highly effective practice, and along with practicing explicit willful gratitude, it is a practice that has taken me a long way from those dark days, well behind me now, of being mired in past trauma and present stress.

The day begin most delightfully with a ludicrously easy commute. I hit all the lights green. There just wasn’t anyone in front of me. It was… relaxed. There was that big full moon in the sky. It was quite pleasant and utterly stress free. I got into the office, got the work day started, and noticed that big beautiful moon sinking low over the city. I made time for that moment, right then and there, and alerted a camera-toting coworker of the opportunity to grab a couple cool city shots, each of us, sharing that experience with each other. It was fun. A great way to take a break.

One lovely moment. One beautiful city.

The day continued from that point, a series of moments, a series of opportunities, a series of choices. It was a very good day. The evening, and even the commute home, was equally pleasant, and, yes, productive. I managed to get a few things done before yielding to fatigue and arthritis pain, and those things were more merely the end of a day, than any hardship. Balance. It was… worth remembering. 🙂

So, I sit here with my coffee smiling. One nice thing about such an extraordinarily pleasant day? I experienced that, which means it can occur, and if it can occur, and has occurred at least once previously, it could occur again, making it all quite possible. I like that idea. 🙂 It wholly undermines that annoying experience that is characteristic of despair – the feeling that nothing good can come of anything we say or do, and that only bad outcomes truly exist, and well, fuck… then why bother, at all, it’s only misery and more misery, anyway? Yeah. Not pleasant. Also – not true. 😀 I can do better.

I notice the time. I finish my coffee. The day awaits, and it is time to begin again. 😀

Tags are you going my way?, be here now, be the change, begin again, being and becoming, breathe, choose wisely, cityscapes, emotional self sufficiency, experience, good self-care, I am my own cartographer, mindful living, mindfulness, mindfulness for beginners, mindfulness matters, my home my rules my way, p.s. I love you, perspective, practicing the practices, ptsd, shooting the moon, sufficiency, taking care of me, TBI, The Art of Being, The Big 5, the map is not the world, there are verbs involved, walking my own path, what matters most?

Categories Allegories, art and the artist, autumn, Brain Injury, Despair, Free Will, Healthy Living, inspiration, Logic & Reason, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Parables, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Practices, The Art of Being, The Big 5

Software Upgrade – It’s Banned Books Week!

September 25, 2018 //

Hey, don’t forget to upgrade your software. You know we become what we practice, sure, but don’t forget we can upgrade our own software anytime – through the magic of reading! It’s true. It’s even a wonderful time for it; it’s Banned Books Week!

If you’ve been following along, you’ve already watched this video, and maybe you’re also experiencing some difficulty getting into a book (and maybe you remember when it was much much easier to do)… It’s not too late to take back your attention span. It’s going to take practice, and it’s going to take a very specific new beginning. Are you ready for it? Here’s how it works:

Turn off your device, or at least silence your notifications.
Pick up a book.
Begin reading.
Keep reading.
Go back to reading.
Seriously, are you not reading?
READ!

Yep. It’s that easy. 😉

If you’re not sure where to start, there are plenty of lists you can start with… here. Here. Here. Over here, too. One thing there is no shortage of? Books. Read some!

The ease and convenience of the Internet is no substitution for learning a subject with depth, or enjoying a long involved tale, or riding the emotional roller-coaster of poetry. Kind of a similar magnitude of difference as between “small talk” and deeply intimate conversations, actually. No need to coast through your existence being unimaginably facile, though; books exist (and so do deeply intimate conversations between very authentic people).

I’ve got a stack of books that I’ve not yet read.

Books, rather pleasantly, also give one time to soak things in, and give full consideration to new learning – no rushing necessary. I often set one aside and come back to it with greater appreciation or understanding, or having taken time to cross-reference a point that needed some clarification (or just to look up a word I didn’t understand in that context). Books don’t “turn it into an argument” if I disagree, either, they just wait for me to turn the page and learn more, which may broaden my perspective.

…You may be getting the impression I’m a huge fan of reading. 🙂 I am. It’s true. It’s a thing. I love to read.

I don’t read as much as I once did. Internet. I can clearly correlate the decline in my reading to the increase in my time online. Huh. I bet my software is way out of date as a result. It’s time to upgrade!

It’s time to begin again.

What are you reading?

Tags a quiet afternoon of reading, are you going my way?, ask a librarian, banned books, be the change, begin again, choose wisely, experience, grab a book, I am my own cartographer, listening deeply, perspective, pick up a book, practicing the practices, ptsd, read!, reading list, recommended reading, step away from the device, sufficiency, taking care of me, TBI, The Art of Being, the map is not the world, there are verbs involved, unread books, walking my own path, what are you reading?, what matters most?, words words words

Categories autumn, Brain Injury, Free Will, Healthy Living, inspiration, Logic & Reason, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Practices, The Art of Being, Words

The Sound of the Rain

September 23, 2018 //

I woke to the sound of rainfall this morning. I didn’t realize it when I woke. It was an early-but-counts-as-sleeping-in-anyway sort of time. I stumbled to the bathroom to pee, took my morning medication, and went back to bed intent on sleeping in “for real”…

…Then I heard the rain falling. I expected it to rock me to sleep, most delightfully. It did not. lol Not this morning. I contentedly lay there wrapped in comfort, listening to the rain fall. I listened to a gentle patter on the window panes. I listened to a drenching downpour that lasted only minutes. I listened to the characteristic rustling of wet Big Leaf Maple leaves, tossed in the pre-dawn stormy breeze. I lay there in the darkness, listening, smiling, resting. I wasn’t sleeping though, and the inevitable did happen; I got up for coffee. lol

An autumn morning before dawn.

I “lit a fire” in the fireplace as I headed to the kitchen, to take the early morning chill off the room, feeling exceedingly grateful to have a gas fireplace. I’m okay with trading the scent of a wood fire for the cleanliness and ease of use of the gas fireplace. 🙂 It’s autumn. Yesterday was the Equinox. It seems only fitting to enjoy warming my toes by the fire with a fresh cup of coffee on quiet fall Sunday morning.

Don’t forget to embrace simple pleasures, and savor moments of joy and contentment that aren’t expensive or flashy. 🙂 There’s much in life to be enjoyed, even in the depths of great misery, and it make so much difference to our experience of “quality of life”.

I sip my coffee and contemplate the day ahead. I settle on a plan of housekeeping, garden work, and find myself content to keep the day simple and purposeful. I’ll finish here, and the day will be spent off-line, engaged in needful tasks, and present in my life. (Oh, there’ll be verbs involved; I’m a human primate, and it will require effort not to return to the internet, again and again, but I’ve got self-care needs on this one. I want my attention span back.)

Have you considered this? How much you, too, may need your attention span back? We become what we practice.

It’s time to begin, again.

Tags are you going my way?, be here now, be the change, begin again, being and becoming, choose wisely, emotional self sufficiency, experience, good self-care, I am my own cartographer, it's your cognition use it your way, mindful living, mindfulness matters, perspective, practicing the practices, ptsd, step away from the internet!, take your brain back, taking care of me, TBI, The Art of Being, the map is not the world, there are verbs involved, walking my own path, what matters most?

Categories autumn, Brain Injury, Free Will, Healthy Living, inspiration, Mindfulness, Moments, Parables, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Relationships, The Art of Being

Something to Think About

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Find a Moment of Fun

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One Very Good Day

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Software Upgrade – It’s Banned Books Week!

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The Sound of the Rain

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