Archives for posts with tag: AI can’t comprehend

My tinnitus has nothing to do with anything else going on, at all, it’s just there, and I happened to notice, and it seems like the sort of “understandable thing that is” that I experience as relatively mundane and ordinary, which in contrast with the craziness of the world (quite specifically, the USA) is almost a relief.

Yep. I’d rather deal with my tinnitus than with having to accept that powerful people in the US government would very much like to make the Epstein files “just go away” by any means available, which seems pretty gross and thoroughly distasteful and indecent. What about justice, though? I’d rather deal with my tinnitus than come to terms with this adminstration pretty much just storming into its own cities arresting and assaulting its own citizens (yes, even actual born-right-here citizens) on thoroughly bogus pretexts. I’d rather deal with my tinnitus than with obvious corruption in our government. I’d rather deal with my tinnitus than watch the USA kidnap the president of a foreign country on whatever bullshit excuse-making can be developed on the fly. Venezuela? Really? Hopefully we’ve all seen enough by now to recognize that this government is not made up of ethical committed professionals who seek to govern skillfully for the benefit of all citizens. It just isn’t.

…Fuck this tinnitus though…

…And also fuck censorship, and fuck corporate greed, and fuck dark money in politics, and fuck politicians enriching themselves in office. Fuck sexism, racism, nationalism, and just generally most ~isms, since they seem reliably poorly thought out and highly likely to hurt more people than they solve any kind of problems. Tools to control populations by ensnaring them in the illusion of shared values. Fuck AI and fuck billionaires, too. Vaporware, AI slop and wealth-hoarding are not going to build a better world. We’re overdue to figure out a better approach to global trade, culture, and society. We’ve surely got the means to do better (and for more people), and it’s pretty ugly that what seems to be holding us back, more than anything else, are greed and the desire for power. It’s a pretty ugly look, Humanity. Do better.

…Omg this fucking tinnitus, though…

I breathe, exhale, and relax. The day started gently. I’m feeling much better…but… for some dumbass reason, the US attacked Venezuela and kidnapped (“arrested”?) it’s president. I have trouble making any excuses for that kind of stupidity, frankly. Venezuela isn’t even adjacent to the United States at any point at all, does us no direct harm or injury. More bloodshed over oil, more than likely. Horrible. Corrupt. Greedy. Fucking hell, we just aren’t the good guys, y’all. I don’t need to be stuck on this – don’t know why I am. I’m disappointed in this administration. Deeply disappointed, and also pretty grossed out by the aesthetics of the individuals associated with it (the whole “Mar a Lago face” thing is weird and I find it disturbingly inauthentic, but I guess that will make it easy to tell what values any particular talking head may have). Weird to see people spend money to make themselves over into a charicature of the person they could be. I admit I don’t get it, at all. The dishonesty, too, is very disturbing. We’re okay with kidnapping foreign leaders and killing unidentified civilians on fishing boats, but we are uncomfortable calling out genocide if it requires using that word? Words have meaning, that’s why they have definitions. What the actual fuck?

…Use your words. Speak truth to power…

I begin again. I let it go. I breathe, exhale, and relax. I sigh quietly to myself and sip my coffee. It’s very good. Ethiopian beans, freshly ground. Smooth, low acidity, with a rich flavor that hints at chocolate, and meadow flowers. Lovely. I make a point to enjoy this cup of coffee and this quiet moment. Right here, now? This is a very pleasant moment, and there are no bombs dropping here. I pull myself back to the here and now, and allow myself this moment of quiet joy and comfort.

…In spite of my tinnitus…

My Traveling Partner is having his own experience. I sip my coffee and think about him, and us. We’re both very human. Both doing our best, and learning as we go. I’m grateful for this partnership, and more grateful still that he has been so deeply supportive of my emotional wellness, and my physical health, and even of my simple joy in life. I look around my studio/office at all the many little things that remind me of my beloved and this partnership we share. It fills me with joy to feel so loved. This love we share is a pleasant haven from the world’s craziness. I smile, feeling his love even from across the house. I’m glad that I’m feeling some better; there are so many things I’d like to be doing (and so many other things that simply need to be done)! I feel fortunate to have a partner who will help me slow down and take care of myself when that is the wiser choice – I don’t always succeed there, left to my own devices. I appreciate the help.

I finish my coffee, and think about the day ahead. I plan to relax and continue to focus on self-care and getting over the flu. That’s enough today. Tomorrow I can begin again.

Moments in life are worth savoring. We don’t know when some occasion will be the last of such things. Being present in each experience tends to make a more detailed, more lasting memory, and a stronger impression on our implicit sense of the quality of our life. That’s been my own experience, at least. Falling headlong through experiences without consideration, thought, choice, or awareness, doomscrolling through the days, shortens our time and gives us little to recall later. I sip my coffee and think on that. I also think about how precious and meaningful it is to me that my beloved Traveling Partner reads my blog. I feel “heard” when he comments on something I have written.

Last night my partner recommended a video, we watched it together. He was inspired to share it because he found that it connected with some of my recent writing. I am moved and grateful that he cares so much, and gives such thought to my reflections in these moments when we are not together. I will say, if you’re prone to existential dread, this video may provoke it. It is, however, interesting and definitely does connect to some of my thoughts on this fragile mortal experience, and what remains behind once we’ve moved on.

The point though, really, is that wandering about with our device in our hands, relying on our GPS to get anywhere, counting on calendar reminders to remember anything we plan, seeking guidance through prompts in an LLM, doomscrolling endlessly through timeless hours of eye candy, click-bait, memes, and what passes for “news” in the age of modern media, and generally behaving as if we are puppets without agency is almost certainly a very poor choice for the survival of humanity long-term, in addition to being just a shit way to live life. As poor a choice as that run-on sentence you just finished reading.

Did you know there are already people who feel they are losing their ability to think and reason because of their use of “AI” (it isn’t actually artificial intelligence, at all). Brain rot is a real thing happening to real people. Did you know there are people who have begun actually worshiping “AI” (LLMs) as gods? No kidding, this is a thing people are doing. I mean, certainly an LLM has demonstrable reality in our worldly existence, and certainly we do create our gods, but this seems like potentially a very bad idea likely to do real world harms, doesn’t it? What a world. Maybe do at least some of your own thinking? Your literal survival may depend on those skills at some point (almost certainly). Read a book. Hell, read a book about AI if you’re so interested. Read several. Go outside, you know – on your own, out in the actual world, seeing sights, listening to the sound of birdsong and breezes, and see where your path may take you. Look at an actual paper map. Study it and gain understanding of how the symbols represent the world. Take in the information without voice-over narration. Look at a flower up close. Watch wildlife exist in actual outdoor spaces – real creatures, alive, and aware. Breathe fresh air. Feel the sunshine or the rain on your skin. Have a conversation with a random live human being. Try out your social skills before they erode completely, leaving you unable to ask simple directions to a known location or unable to enjoy a party.

…Remember parties?..

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I had arrived home last night feeling pretty okay. The commute wasn’t all that bad (I took a route that, although busier, had no construction and thus less stress). I was feeling sort of cross fairly quickly, though. No fault of anyone else in the household, and I did my best to keep my bullshit in check (with good success). I just needed some quiet alone time; it’s been a ridiculously busy “people-filled” week, full of conversations, meetings, and interactions, and I had started to have that “everyone wants a piece of me” feeling. I felt a bit overwhelmed and encroached upon, which seriously conflicted with my desire to enjoy my Traveling Partner’s companionship at the end of a long (busy) day. He gently suggested maybe a nice shower, and I had been thinking maybe some video games – but the idea of either honestly just felt like “more work”, at least initially. He was right about the shower; it did a lot to put me in a better frame of mind, and after preparing dinner (cold sesame noodles with chicken) I felt more like playing video games for a little while. The evening ended well and I got over my bullshit and enjoyed the time with my partner. Self-care is an important and worthwhile practice.

Life being lived. Did you notice? Not one word about the news. My device mostly sat idle. We listened to music. Watched a couple videos. Hung out in the quiet good-natured merry vibe of a happy family at home. Dinner was yummy, though I think I could have done some things a little differently and gotten a better result. I didn’t use a device or an “AI” – the recipe is in an actual bound cookbook. I wrote notes in the margin while I was cleaning up dinner, so next time I have my own thoughts waiting for me when I make this again, some other time. Pen and paper – my vote for humanity’s greatest invention. (Reading and writing would likely be my opinion for the most valuable skills not directly related to survival.) Later in the evening a friend who lives on our street stopped by to visit awhile. All very human, life being lived. Awake. Aware. Present.

I’m just going to say it; ChatGPT not only is not a god, it’s not even your friend. (Neither are the tech bros who developed it on stolen intellectual property with personal profit as their primary goal.) This is true of any LLM currently in existence. The 2025 version of “AI” is not intelligent, has no cognition, does not reason, can not feel emotions or sensations, and is 100% dependent on the content it is trained on by human beings capable of actually doing, feeling, understanding, thinking, imagining, extrapolating, and really experiencing life. Why bother asking ChatGPT to do for you what you could do for yourself? Short-term efficiency? What about the long-term consequences of allowing your own skills to atrophy (or never allowing them to develop through use and practice and effort)?

Gudetama – the lazy egg. A meme, a character, a metaphor.

Life is sweet. Suck the juice out of every delicious fruitful moment! Choose your path. Choose your adventure. Try your skills (and your luck). Live. Isn’t having your own experience – and your own thoughts about it – more worthy of your human potential than relying on some predigested homogenous content built primarily on out-of-date information, provided to you in response to a prompt that you potentially took from someone else?? Be you. No LLM can do that for you. No response to a ChatGPT prompt can guide you as well as you can guide yourself through study, practice, and endless curiosity.

Are you still reading? I’m impressed. 😀 Thank you for indulging me. Sometimes I feel like an “old man yelling at clouds” or as if I am “screaming into the void“, when I rant about this stuff. Life is so precious and short, and our abilities need practice to maintain them. We’re pretty fancy primates – but we are primates, and some of what makes us so special is very much a “use it or lose it” proposition. Don’t diminish yourself through dependency on AI. Please. You are so much more than that. We become what we practice. What are you practicing?

It’s your choice. The journey is the destination; choose your path wisely. Isn’t it time to begin again?

Don’t trust “AI”. Think for yourself. Go deeper than the superficial, likely error prone, potentially copyright violating, plagiaristic “AI” summary of unknown bias. You can definitely do better without that kind of “help”.

Think I’m perhaps overreacting just a bit? Test it with a search on something simple such as a search for the synonyms of a term you know well. I used “meditate” for my example. Among the many “synonyms” offered, the “AI” answer included terms that are not synonymous with “meditate” at all, and one of these being particularly misleading: ruminate. Rumination is a wholly different mental process, and generally a deeply problematic one for which people may seek mental health care. Meditation isn’t a synonym for rumination, nor is it an antonym. The only thing these two terms really have in common is that they are cognitive processes (or experiences). So, approach “AI” with considerable care and skepticism. It lacks nuance. It cannot understand what you ask, nor it’s own response to your query. It’s just spitting out associated words, based on having been fed a massive quantity of other words. Think for yourself. Do your own homework. Go deeper.

… You’ll surely regret it if you lose those skills…

Walking with my thoughts, no “AI” required.

I woke to my artificial sunrise at a comfortably early hour and headed to my favorite weekend trail. It was already daybreak when I arrived and I was in no great hurry. There was no traffic, the drive was peaceful and easy. The moments between then and now have been filled with solitary joy, unbothered by the troubles of the world. There’s time for that later, no need to let it encroach on my peace of mind right now. (Which is likely true more often than it isn’t.)

I set off down the trail happily, content to be alone with my thoughts as dawn came. I listened to the geese overhead, and watched the early morning mumurations of flocks of birds that roosted over night in the oaks along the marsh trail. There’s no snow left from last week’s winter weather and it rained during the night. Mists cling to the ground here and there, and obscure the view of distant hills. The morning air is still and mild, not warm but definitely not cold either. I walked on.

By the time I get back to the car it is daylight. The morning is well underway. A new day. The little birds are noisy in the trees. I catch myself prematurely thinking over what I hope to get done today. There’s no need, not yet. There’s time for that later. I promise myself a good cup of coffee at home, after my Traveling Partner wakes and lets me know he’s up.

A soft rain begins to fall. It’s time to begin again.