Archives for posts with tag: being and becoming

Finding Value in Small Things

August 15, 2017 //

Got that splinter removed. 🙂

Tags appreciating simple things, be the change, begin again, being and becoming, choose wisely, finding value in small things, good self-care, it's a metaphor, it's your choice, listening deeply, meditation, mindfulness matters, perspective, practicing the practices, remove the splinter, sufficiency, take care of the person in the mirror, taking care of me, The Art of Being, The Parable of the Splinter, there are verbs involved, we become what we practice, what matters most?

Categories Free Will, Healthy Living, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Parables, Perspective, Summer, The Art of Being

Rainfall

August 13, 2017 //

I woke to the sound of the rain. I found it a soothing counterpoint to my lingering horror over yesterday’s acts of domestic terrorism, racism, and violence. I enjoy the rain. I opened all of the windows to let in the fresh rain-washed breeze. Same number of windows here as in the last place, but here the breeze more easily finds its way in. I stand sipping my coffee in the patio doorway. I stand because one must stand for something; the metaphor reassures me, and gives me something steady to lean on, for a moment.

It’s been a long fight, hasn’t it? For all of us, I mean. Hanging on. Hanging in there. Fighting for change. Let it rain. Our tears, each of us, all of us, matter in this moment; fight on. Fight on, and let it your tears fall like rain. Rage against hate, weep for the pain of it. Weep for the lost. Weep for the wounded. Never forget? Never forgotten. Share your story. With no one coming to save us, we must save ourselves.

I remind myself to get some rest; it’s a long fight ahead. Lessons to learn. Lessons to teach. Experiences to have – so many we must each have our own. We’ll need to begin again. We’ll need all the verbs we can handle. Our results will vary – but incremental change over time is real, reliable, and we become what we practice.

I sip my coffee, and listen to the rain fall.

Tags are you going my way?, be the change, begin again, being and becoming, bystander effect, cry, don't forget we're all "us", don't just stand there, I am my own cartographer, let it rain, listening deeply, love, Love Reign O'er Me, No H8te, p.s. I love you, practicing the practices, stand up, the map is not the world, there are verbs involved, us versus them, walking my own path, we become what we practice, what matters most?, who are you?

Categories anger, Free Will, Love, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, pain, Parables, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Relationships, The Art of Being, War and News of War, Words

I Don’t Have Words

August 12, 2017 //

It’s a lot to take in, and I’m not sure what to say about any of it. Terrible. There’s a word. Overwhelming. Unnecessary. Heinous. All words. All fitting. I just… can’t. I feel struck by it. I’m not at all prepared – and perhaps not qualified – to write about any of this. So, perhaps another time? A different topic?

I don’t want to point this out, but it’s a thing, and part of what is making me struggle with all of it so much; in six months, if you read this post, you will have to look up the events of the date to be certain what I am referencing. That sucks beyond what I have words for.

…Any of this should be so much more significant, so unacceptably significant, that it would drive real lasting change. How terrible that it isn’t, and doesn’t.

Tags american racism, anger, be love, be the change, begin again, being and becoming, can't you just be nice?, choose wisely, don't hate, hate, listening deeply, perspective, pointless violence, practicing the practices, racism, there are verbs involved, walk on, we become what we practice, what matters most?

Categories anger, Anxiety, Free Will, grief, Moments, pain, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, War and News of War, Words

Every Bit As Human

August 10, 2017 //

So human.

This morning, I wrote, as I do, but to a dear friend, only. It met my own needs, and I considered no others this morning. Huh. Still human.

The other day, I got poked by a rose thorn, but thought nothing of it; roses have thorns, it’s a thing people know about. Today I am fussy and irritated by the discomfort of the thorn still lodged in the pad of my index finger, rather inconveniently precisely where my finger strikes the keys of my keyboard. I don’t actually do anything about the thorn, I just bitch about the discomfort. Still human.

I read the news, get caught up, feel annoyed with myself for wasting precious limited lifetime on media bullshit, again, knowing it messes with my head for hours, sometimes days. I sometimes do it anyway, even to the point of reading and rereading the same news, covered the same way, by nearly identical media outlets, multiple times…until I finally notice I’m learning nothing new, and don’t even actually care. Still human.

I make a cup of chamomile tea to enjoy as the evening winds down, and can’t quite enjoy it, either because it is still too hot to drink, or perhaps because now I don’t understand why I didn’t make coffee, which I’ve already had more than enough of today…but I don’t know which, and don’t move to change anything. Still human.

I distract myself from all of these things with thoughts of love, and loving, and feeling grateful to be so well-loved, and so thoroughly accepted – and then distract myself again with my disappointed recollection that my Traveling Partner still has not made it over to see my new place once… Which… well, he’s hundreds of miles away, and has only been within an hour’s driving time of this address for about 24 hours in the past 5 (6?) weeks, so it’s not really a realistic expectation. Still disappointed. Still human.

It’s a life. My life. It’s not the life I had 7 years ago. Hell, it’s not the life I had 3 years ago. It’s a pretty good life. I’m content – and this is true nearly all of my time, even moment-to-moment, generally. That’s… yeah, so much beyond what I could have hoped for a decade ago. Sure, it’s taken awhile, and I’m still so very human. Still have ups that are too far up. Still have downs that are scary far down. Still have many moments and emotions in between the extremes. It’s a life. My life. I’m very human.

Just one moment of many

Tomorrow, I’ll begin again.

Tags a very human experience, ACT, are you going my way?, be here now, be love, be the change, begin again, being and becoming, breathe, Caring, choose wisely, compassion, consideration, emotional self sufficiency, Empathy, experience, good self-care, gratitude, Humanity, I am my own cartographer, listening deeply, MBSR, mindfulness matters, p.s. I love you, perspective, practicing the practices, ptsd, relationships, sufficiency, Sympathy, taking care of me, TBI, The Art of Being, The Big 5, The Big 5 only work if I practice them, the map is not the world, there are verbs involved, walking my own path

Categories anger, Anxiety, Brain Injury, Free Will, Frustration, grief, loneliness, Love, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, more than a little bit of bitching, pain, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Relationships, Roses, Summer, The Art of Being, The Big 5, Words

In Brief

August 9, 2017 //

Sometimes I need to take a little more time for myself in the mornings. Today is such a morning. I’ve nothing much to say in any specific way and feel more like writing poetry than prose, but lack even those few words. So, I sip my coffee, say good morning to the world, and move on to other moments. 🙂

My eye slides to my bass guitar this morning. My playlist inspires me to keep practicing, and practicing is, itself, my honest goal. I’ve no need to “perform”, it isn’t about that. I chuckle, wondering if I’ll ever let anyone hear me play… It’s a funny place in my head and heart, and my agency in the emotional space in which I play bass is so very fragile that small things break it (“Oh, you should…” “have you tried” “you need to…” “do that this way”). So, easiest to keep it to myself, quiet (for some values of quiet, obviously) and close to my heart, where I can keep myself safe, until some later moment when I feel less fragile and insecure about something I love so much.

There’s a whole morning ahead of me, before I have to head to work. I think I’ll get on with that, differently than usual. 🙂 There is much to do, and there are verbs involved. What about you? What will you do today to care for that person in the mirror? (I hope it’s something nice!)

Tags be here now, be the change, begin again, being and becoming, choose wisely, Dancing Nancies, emotional self sufficiency, good self-care, great basslines, hard songs, I am my own cartographer, listening deeply, meditation, my home my rules my way, practicing the practices, sufficiency, taking care of me, The Art of Being, the real folk blues, there are verbs involved, walking my own path, you might die trying

Categories Free Will, Healthy Living, Love, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Summer, The Art of Being

Finding Value in Small Things

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Rainfall

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I Don’t Have Words

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Every Bit As Human

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In Brief

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