I had a restless night and woke often. No reason for it that I know, and I wasn’t distressed by it or anxious about it. I got up a couple of times. I went back to bed, and to sleep, each time, too. My coffee this morning was exceptionally good, and I got the temperature ‘just right’, which in this case means that it was cooled off a bit before I clumsily spilled most of it over my desk, and into my lap. Aside from the vulgar exclamation that resulted from hot coffee unexpectedly landing in my lap, spilling my coffee didn’t distress me either.

I hadn’t planned to write this morning at all…the family is heading south for the weekend to attend a wedding. Work is such that I can’t also go, and I am home – when I’m home – for a solo weekend. I had planned to set aside my writing this morning and instead hang out with my traveling partner… I made coffee, and went to feed my fish and get my stuff together for the day, and called over my shoulder as I walked down the hall “I’ll be back in a few minutes…”. I got no verbal reply, but I don’t generally expect people to be skillfully verbal at that early hour, and pre-coffee (for coffee drinkers).  7 minutes later, I returned…to silence and the twilight of dimmed lights; my traveling partner had returned to bed. Right now, in this moment, that’s not a big deal at all, but my initial reaction of surprise could so easily have led to feeling hurt, or frustrated by the miscommunication, or perhaps I might even have slowly talked myself into feeling ignored, dismissed, or neglected. On his side of things, he could perhaps have chosen to return to bed, annoyed that I didn’t remain with him to hang out… or perhaps he was simply tired.  The variable nature of language, on top of our way of constructing our perspective of life and love from a combination of language and thought, puts us at grave risk of OPD – of causing ourselves pain by inventing drama, based on assumptions that haven’t been tested, expectations we haven’t shared, or words that we haven’t said out loud. I chose differently this morning.

Darkness and illumination, and a moonlit evening walk.

Other than some spilled coffee, this morning is a lovely one. The night preceding it was wonderful and loving and connected and satisfying. There is enough coffee remaining to easily enjoy some minutes reflecting on the delicious moments of the prior evening. Do you ‘waste time’ daydreaming? Do you savor pleasant experiences, really reflecting on joy, pleasure, contentment, and the positive experiences you have? Does it feel like a waste of time to pause to really enjoy a moment? I’m noticing how much more generally rich and satisfying life is seeming to be day-to-day when I spend as much (or more) time simply enjoying what feels good, really giving those experiences my time and attention fully – thinking about the good times in great detail and lingering there in my recollection of my experience, rather than ruminating over what frustrates me, or troubleshooting what isn’t pleasant. I’m not saying there’s no value in ‘figuring things out’; we can’t easily change what we don’t understand, or so we’re taught (I have my doubts about that, now). It’s become clear to me over time, though, that I was investing far too much time and mental bandwidth in attempting to troubleshoot what didn’t work, wasn’t fun, or was frankly unpleasant or undesirable, without real success at changing it. I have learned that ‘change’ is a verb, and relies on both choices and actions, and doesn’t have much to do with how much time we think on the thing we wish to see changed.

Autumn from another perspective; a change of perspective has a lot of value.

If my character and state of being, generally, is my metaphorical ‘climate’ in life, and my moods and feelings are the ‘weather’… a single moment, however challenging, is little more than a raindrop, or a droplet of mist. Perspective is huge…and is a more significant part of my experience than any one drop of rain, by far. The time we spend mired in negative thinking, contemplating what doesn’t work, what hurts, what frustrates… well, that definitely generates some stormy weather, and if the science is right, it also has climate change potential.

Rainy days sometimes have rainbows.

Today is a good day to enjoy the weather, and to dance in the rain. Today is a good day to enjoy life guiltlessly*, whatever the challenges. Today is a good day to invest more time in what feels good*, than in what hurts. Today is a good day to change…the weather. 🙂

*Please note, neither of these statements is an endorsement of being a callous dick, or of treating other people poorly while pursuing one’s own agenda, or for undermining the well-being and success of others in order to gratify one’s  own short-term pleasures. Wheaton’s Law still applies, and compassion and kindness are still relevant, moment to moment; I’m just saying treating ourselves truly well is worth the time and effort, and can be comfortably balanced with treating others similarly well.