Archives for posts with tag: sufficiency

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I sit quietly along this trail, appreciating a new day, a good mood, and having enjoyed a good night of rest. Small things, and still worth appreciating. A lot of small things have joy and wonder and plenty of value worth appreciating.

One moment, and the dawn of a new day.

The western sky is taking on some lovely pink hues along the edges of the clouds. I hear voices coming up the trail, rather loud for so early. “…use this trail almost around the clock, so we….” They come into view as they round the bend. I call out a cheery “Good morning!”, hoping to avoid startling them. “Morning, Young Lady!”, one replies. “We’re going down to put up caution tape and cut off a section of this trail for safety,” says the other. I ask if I’ll still be able to walk the loop all the way around with a detour, and they reply that I will. They walk on. I wave as they depart and they return the gesture. Human beings, being human.

Our words matter. Our gestures matter. Our ability and willingness to include others and to communicate matter. We have so much to offer each other and the world. Good things. We choose, and act on our choices. The consequences of our choices are our own to endure, and to be responsible and accountable is not something we can dodge or defer indefinitely. The bills will always come due. Worth thinking about.

Choose wisely. Speak gently. Act with intention.

The clouds roll past overhead, and it’s a gray sort of dawn. For a moment I catch a glimpse of a luminous fat full moon peaking through clouds and tangled bare branches. Pretty. It doesn’t last. Moments are brief. Impermanent. There’s something to be learned from that. I sigh quietly. I am wrapped in contentment and not eager to move from this place or this moment. The clock is ticking, though, and moments don’t last, even when we linger.

I stand and brush some damp leaves off my jeans and look down the path. New day. New moments. Time to begin again. I smile to myself and set off down the path.

I got the call yesterday evening. My car was ready to be picked up from the body shop. It’s been two… three? Three weeks, since I had dropped it off. I think. Close enough. I’ve been enjoying the comfort and luxury features of my Traveling Partner’s pickup. It’s very nice.

… I already miss the heated steering wheel and seats. 😆 The view is quite different, too. It defrosts faster on a cold morning, and has such a smooth ride! I already know that I will replace my current vehicle with the same make as my Traveling Partner’s truck, having determined the SUV in their product line will suit me nicely. That time is not now… lol

The Anxious Adventurer gave me a ride over to the body shop. I walked past my car looking over the repair work. Wow. Like new. I mean, I guess that’s the point. I slid into the driver’s seat gently, and readjusted the seat position and the mirrors. I start it up…no squeak. I pull out, getting the feel of it again; it’s very different from the pickup. Less luxurious. Less…(or…more?) of something else I can’t put my finger on. Feels weird, but also very comfortable and familiar. I like this car. But…? Yeah. It has its quirks and shortcomings.

From the trail, the vehicle doesn’t matter.

I drove to the trailhead this morning, feeling pleased to be back in my car again. I do enjoy the truck when I drive it, but it isn’t mine. I don’t like leaving my Traveling Partner stuck at home either, now that he can drive when he wants to. I chuckle at myself for being vexed that timing will prevent me from reloading my gear into my car before the end of the work day. I let it go. It’s not urgent.

I head down the trail into the fog. It’s a chilly morning. The season seems uncertain whether to be winter or Spring. I love hitting the trail at a time of morning to see the sunrise. This morning it is bold orange, veiled by the fog, creating a strange diffuse glow on the morning horizon. To the west, only fog, and the trail disappearing into it.

Friday, at last. It’s been that kind of week. I sigh to myself. I’d eagerly drive somewhere and try a new trail this weekend, but I need new boots before I do that. The car is due for an oil change, too. I  feel fairly certain there were other things I want or need to do this weekend, but I can’t recall them now.

I breathe, exhale, and relax, tasting the cold morning air and watching the sun rise. I stretch and sigh quietly. It’s already time to begin again.

What then? What turn does the path take once you’ve achieved your goal, or fulfilled some dream for your future, or completed some grand project, or obtained some wonder you long yearned for? What then? I’m sipping my coffee and thinking about that, no idea why; it was the thought in my head when I woke from a deep sleep, groggy and trembling, unprepared for the day. (At first, I wasn’t at all certain “what was wrong”, and it took me a moment to realize I was simply awake.)

The clock ticks on. The calendar turns another page. A new day begins and the path unwinds ahead of me.

…And I’ve got this cup of coffee…

…And also pain. This morning I woke to pain. Well, shit. It is winter, and the cold and damp definitely do worsen my arthritis pain. I sigh to myself, sit up straighter, and stretch. I guess it could be worse. What did the Chaotic Comic call it? “Radical acceptance.” I sip my coffee and reflect on that. It is a concept commonly associated with DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), an offshoot of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). Radical acceptance sound rather grand and impressive to me… I smile a crooked smile and sip my coffee. I just think of it as coping, and as refusing to let pain make my decisions in life, when I have a choice (which tends to be “most of the time”), particularly since it’s been hanging around since I was in my late 20s. There is work to do. There are moments to enjoy. There is a whole life to live. Pain doesn’t change that, it’s just a… complication. I do my best to keep it managed and in perspective. I’m not saying that’s easy. My results definitely vary. Some days are harder than others. I sigh to myself, and let my thoughts move on.

I frown for a moment, looking at the browser tab I used to find linkable resources for the terms “DBT”, “CBT” and “radical acceptance”. What a world; I scrolled through many pages of links to various costly “resources” (booksellers, clinics, specialists, merch) before I gave up and went directly to Wikipedia. A Google Search is just about pointless these days; the first page is an error-laden overly-simplistic AI overview I have no use for, followed by sponsored link after sponsored link to some bookseller, or costly clinic or specialist, dwindling to videos by various unknowns. Wikipedia? I scrolled all the way to page 5 before that turned up (in spite of it being one of my own most-visited resources). The continued enshittification of the internet is vexing. “Platform decay” is real, and “AI” is not an improvement. I sigh, and wish Google a silent “go fuck yourself” before moving on.

Wednesday. Right – today I take my car for an estimate on the repairs it needs following it’s mystery collision in a parking lot on the last day of 2025. Stress shoots through me at the recollection and my anxiety spikes, hard. I breathe, exhale, and relax, reminding myself the collision is in the past, the insurance coverage is already approved, this is just another step on the path. I unclench my jaw, and take another breathe, and a sip of coffee. The memory of the feeling when I first saw the unexpected damage to my parked car brings it back; the sorrow, the hurt feelings, the stress over the damage and the repair cost to come. The feeling now is as visceral as the feeling then. PTSD. I breathe, exhale, and let that go. Again. I repeat the exercise until my heart is beating in a normal and comfortable way, and the pressure in the pit of my stomach has dissipated.

It can be hilariously difficult to describe the experience of PTSD, what it is like to feel it, to go through it, to have a flare up of one symptom or another. The way it is portrayed in the movies isn’t particularly accurate. It’s not always some massive meltdown (or lost-in-the-past flashback) – sometimes it’s a physical re-experiencing of the stress of some moment that is not now, and little more (although surely that’s enough). Sometimes it manifests itself as a lack of perspective or ability to anchor to here and now, a struggle to recognize that this is not that moment, at all – whenever or whatever “that moment” was. For people suffering with Complex PTSD (not recognized in the US DSM-V, but recognized by WHO’s ICD 11), the moments have piled up one upon the next and made things that much worse for being compounded and complicated by each other.

I sip my coffee, reflecting on my life, and finding it maybe just a little bit marvelous that at 62, after years of therapy and practice, I can at long last let my consciousness gently touch some terrible moment of pain or trauma or horror (intentionally!) without immediately losing myself in that past moment, without tears or terror, without profound anxiety or seething latent rage surfacing (sometimes). I can even, if I choose, tenderly and compassionately support myself through processing some detail without falling apart over it (sometimes). Oh, it’s an unreliable skill, and still wants further practice and reinforcement, and it requires self-care and presence, and willingness to let it go and step back if I begin to feel swamped, but it’s surely progress worth a moment of acknowledgement. It took a long time to get here, and it’s a better place to be in my life – and I didn’t know, ever, if I could even make this journey and stand in this better place. My results have varied – a lot.

I silently wish my beloved Traveling Partner well, hoping he still sleeps. I’ve come so far – and for much of the journey he has been my companion through the ups and downs, and the new practices, and the moments lost to poor mental health, and the challenges of every day life, and all the work and the bullshit and baggage and chaos and damage. The therapy. The work. The love. Fuck, I am so grateful to love and be loved by this singular human being. My heart fills with gratitude and spills over as unexpected tears. Human beings are weird. lol I sigh to myself, and my inner voice mocks me kindly, understanding, “bitches always be trippin, y’all.” I laugh out loud. A barista calls to me merrily, “good joke?”. I reply “life!” and she laughs, too.

Once upon a time, I dreamed day and night about being “a regular person”, less “quirky”, more able to endure stress and able to heal from trauma. Less “plagued by misfortune”. I yearned for things I didn’t yet have an understanding of… resilience… emotional intelligence… and love. I wasn’t certain life was worth living. I had only the most limited sense of agency. I felt lost and crushed, pushed and pulled, and I seethed with the sort of buried rage that if exposed might erupt into something really terrible. I felt invisible, and unheard, and lacked a sense of worth or purpose. Tough times. It seems very far away now. I can’t claim to be “over it” or “cured” or so thoroughly mentally healthy as to set (or comply with) some standard of “a regular person”…but I am no longer an outsider in my own life. I’m no longer mired in despair and filled with a sense of futility. I’ve got better tools for coping with the reality of who I am. I’m grateful. I’m generally content with life. I’m grateful for love and friendship and good times. I’m okay for most values of okay, most days. G’damn that’s… wonderful. It’s been an interesting journey, and not an easy one. I smile to myself, when I try to pin down “when it started”. I don’t think that’s so easy…so many beginnings, so many steps on this path. The journey is the destination. “Are we there yet?” is not a question with a satisfying answer; we walk on.

I finish my coffee, still smiling. It is, after all, time to begin again. Again.

By the end of the day, yesterday, my tinnitus, my headache, and my lingering irritability had joined forces and invited a flare up of hyperacusis (sound sensitivity). I felt as if I couldn’t find a quiet moment. Every little noise annoyed me. Every moment someone was speaking was making it almost impossible to hear anything else. Every sound seemed unnecessarily loud. I figured out it was me before I was a complete asshole about it, but it was unpleasant. It lasted the rest of the evening. Seems like I woke without it this morning, and I’m starting the day feeling hopeful.

The highpoints of my day, yesterday? A book arriving that my beloved Traveling Partner bought for me as a gift, which I’m eager to read; everything he’s recommended over the years has been worthwhile. (This one is The Stand, by Stephen King, which I haven’t read.) The other highpoint? A dark quiet room, alone with the silence, before I slept. It wasn’t even actually silent. Not at all. My CPAP machine was running, and the little ambient noise generator the VA gave me that helps me sleep by masking background noises (and to some extent, my tinnitus), was also on. Everything seemed “too loud”. Everything was turned down to the quietest settings. Hyperacusis.

I gave up, hoping it would be better in the morning. I’m grateful for the morning; it is gentle on my consciousness, so far. One more workday, this one, and then a weekend. I chuckle softly to myself; I’m back to counting weekends and looking forward to Friday on Mondays. Very human.

I breathe, exhale, and relax. My hands pause motionless above the keyboard for an unmeasured weirdly long time, as my thoughts drift through my head without transmitting anything to my fingers. I finally notice that I am sitting in this odd anticipatory state, and I make a point to observe that in writing, just to break the spell.

It’s that I’m struck speechless, perhaps, by the weird shit going on in the USA right now. It’s simply so much incomprehensible corrupt cruelty and self-serving grandstanding and grifting that I can’t wrap my head around how this is even real, sometimes. In America. Freedom of speech under direct attack. The administration pulling the nation out of important alliances, trade groups, and treaties, and withdrawing previously approved funds that throw valued lifelines to real human beings. Citizens being shot in the streets or kidnapped from their homes or jobs by masked thugs paid by federal dollars. And in possibly one of the most hilariously ludicrous re-enactments of a South Park episode, the US Dept of Health and Human Services announced a “new food pyramid” that puts red meat, dairy, and saturated fats front and center. (South Park did it first, Season 18, episode 2, “Gluten Free Ebola”, 2014) I’m still laughing. I sometimes feel like I should be resigned to waking up every day wondering what the fuck is even going on, because so much of this shit just doesn’t make any sense. I sigh to myself.

The new food pyramid isn’t the worst of all the things going on, inasmuch as eating whole real food of good quality that isn’t preprocessed and full of preservatives and additives is a better choice for our health, but suggesting (if only visually) that red meat and dairy should make up some majority portion of our intake is probably not ideal. I’ll admit I haven’t yet read the dietary guidance more closely; I’m still laughing too hard. So much of this shit doesn’t make any real sense, and that’s probably the point – because keeping us all distracted with this craziness may be intended to keep us from looking more closely at things that matter a great deal more. (How about those Epstein files? Where are we at with those?) One of the challenges, I guess, is that I find so many (all?) of this administration’s cabinet members and department heads thoroughly unlikeable and untrustworthy. They make it really clear where their interests lie, and it is not with the citizens they serve. They lie openly, as if the internet just doesn’t exist for immediate real-time fact-checking. This is without a doubt the dumbest administration in the history of American governance…or we are the most gullible population.

“Enough,” I tell myself, and I let it go. I sip my coffee, enjoying the warmth in my hand, and the mellow flavor. I enjoy the smooth jazz in the background this morning, uninvasive and subtle. Coffee and jazz on a quiet morning, a good combination, a good beginning to the day.

This weekend, at long last, the Giftmas decorations all come down and get put away for another year. I’m behind on that. I had meant to do it last weekend, but chose to rest and give myself more time to recover from having had the flu – which I feel pretty completely over at this point. Damn that was pretty bad. I’m glad I’d been vaccinated. It could have been much worse. The flu has already killed thousands of people this year, in the US alone. I’m grateful for the vaccines that make it less likely to be fatal, for so many of us. I wish more people took getting their vaccinations more seriously, and put more consideration into the value of herd immunity and community wellness, but honestly? I get it. Look at this mess; would you take health advice from the circle jerk of unqualified nitwits making vaccine recommendations right now? It’s a top down problem, too. This isn’t about the science or the scientists doing the real work of creating vaccines. It’s the administration. The stupidity and lack of qualifications of so many of this administration’s talking heads make it almost impossible to trust a word they say.

For me this shit is not a partisan issue; I dislike unethical grifters of any political alignment, and I don’t think choosing a political party is a clear indicator of intelligence or qualifications for a policy-making role. Ethical governance ought not be a partisan issue, at all. Once elected or appointed, every one of those assholes is expected to get to work – together – to govern skillfully, wisely, and in the service of every citizen, not just the ones who think like they do. Isn’t that obvious? I’m so thoroughly disappointed with both Democrats and Republicans – but the math doesn’t work for 3rd parties, because the system is set up to fail them. We’re probably long overdue for direct democracy…but I don’t exactly have a lot of confidence in how that will turn out, either, just considering what people seem willing to vote for, and why.

I sip my coffee and let my thoughts wander on.

I sigh to myself and think about suffering and changes and choices, and this journey that is one human life. One woman, one path. I am finding it hard to settle down and meditate, today. Human. Some days it is easy, some days it isn’t. It’s a “practice” because it really takes an active commitment and daily decision-making, followed by real action, and that never really changes. There are verbs involved. We become what we practice, though. I benefit so much from keeping a consistent meditation practice, I know not to let it slip. When I falter, I begin again.

I’ve still got this persistent desire to fill my tank, get in the car, and just…drive toward the horizon, until I find myself, somewhere.

…The clock ticks on. The future is unwritten. The journey is the destination – and there is no map. Where does this path lead? I take a breathe, exhale, and begin again.

I slept well and deeply last night. I woke gently at a good time for waking. I think I even managed to get myself ready for the day and leave the house without waking everyone else. The cafe is warm, my coffee is hot, and the background music is different, more to my taste. My first taste of this cup of coffee reminds me that life is not reliably joyful and easy; it is bitter, and tastes over-roasted. I shrug it off. It is also inconsequential. Some coffee is bitter. Some coffee is sweet. As with moments.

Everyone on my global work team is down with the flu, or recently recovering. The flu is hitting hard this year, but it is orders of magnitude less serious than COVID was. It’s easy to forget how terrible the pandemic was. (I’m glad I am finally getting over the flu, and I’m grateful it wasn’t worse; this year’s flu has killed thousands of people in the US alone, thus far.) Last night I did not wake even once to deal with my sinuses or to cough, and didn’t start coughing or struggling with draining sinuses as soon as I sat up – a pleasant change.

Spring is coming. Oh, this morning was freezing cold, and the car was thoroughly frosted over. It’s definitely winter here, now. I’m glad I’m not out walking in the cold and damp, I admit. Not my favorite conditions for walking, these freezing temperatures and dark, wet mornings. I won’t say “no” to a chance to watch the sun rise from a convenient trail, but I’d rather not spend hours in the cold to do that if I can avoid it. That’s just real.

My second sip of coffee seems quite different than the first, pleasant, not especially bitter. I don’t put a lot of thought into; it really doesn’t matter. It was probably something to do with the lingering taste of toothpaste in my mouth. I let my mind move on and enjoy my coffee contentedly. I take a moment to breathe, exhale, and relax, and do a “body scan”, allowing myself to feel my feelings and acknowledge the various physical sensations of being human. No particularly noteworthy amount of pain, this morning, which is something worth spending a moment of my time to appreciate and savor. I feel comfortable in my skin, ready for a new day. (I wonder what it holds…)

The earth keeps turning. The clock keeps ticking. American idiots keeps talking “bigger gun diplomacy” and nonsense about taking fucking Greenland. For real, people? Are we really those assholes?? Fuck democracy, we’ll just take what we want? I honestly thought better of us. Hopefully hateful stupidity and vengeful pettiness don’t win over the hearts of most Americans, and we can look back on this moment in our history with patient astonishment and lessons learned, after the next election. (Ideally sooner than later, because this shit is costing us many dollars, and allies, and destroying our reputation on the world stage.) We’ve got a mess on our hands, and I’ve become very concerned that we won’t dig out of it in my lifetime. I sigh and sip my coffee, grateful we still import this magical bean at all.

Speak truth to power. Don’t let your voice be silenced. Stand firm on your values, and try not to be too discouraged by current events; this too will pass, I remind myself. Change is. Impermanance is a permanent condition.

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I let all that go and pull myself back to here, and now. For some strange reason, the playlist the cafe has on is playing surreal sounding … surf music? Weird. I find myself asking a barista what they’ve got playing. Yep. “Indie surf rock“, she says. It makes for an interesting atmosphere in this morning space in the wet gloomy winter of the Pacific Northwest. I’m not even complaining. It beats “shoegaze” or vapid pop breakup songs.

I sit with my thoughts awhile. There is no reason to rush the morning, I’ve got awhile before the work day begins. I think about the years behind me. 62 of those. I’ll be 63 this year. I don’t “feel old”, in spite of aches and pains and such; I’ve had those for years. The osteo arthritis in my spine developed before I was 30 and has continued to worsen over the years, climbing my spine, reaching my neck most recently. It doesn’t have further to go, but manages to keep getting worse anyway. I try not to let it dictate my life or my choices, day-to-day, sometimes that’s hard – but it doesn’t feel “aging related” to me. It’s a reminder of past trauma.

When I was a kid, adults in their 60s seemed elderly to me. That’s not true in 2025 – most of the people I meet in their 60s these days not only seem “my age” (well, duh), but also don’t seem (or appear to be) “old”. Phrases like “60 is the new 40” come to mind. I chuckle grimly; recent changes to vaccine schedules, dietary recommendations, and cost or availability of healthcare pretty nearly promise that aging is going to look very different in the near future (and not in a good way for generations who will find themselves aging very soon). Limited retirement potential for Americans also continues to burden folks as they age out of the workforce (if they can leave the workforce at all, it may not be voluntary). We do a pretty shitty job of caring for our elders in this country. We do a pretty shitty job of caring, generally.

I sigh and shake off my dark mood. G’damn I’m so fucking over people, lately. I call to mind the bright spots in my life, people-wise. My Traveling Partner. My friend the Author. My friend the Chaotic Comic. Far away friends I rarely see but write to more than occasionally. The Anxious Adventurer is also a human being with a better than average heart, of generally good character. Nonetheless, I feel a deep abiding need to “step away for awhile”, somehow, and like a great many people (most people, probably) I can’t really afford to right now. Another sigh breaks the stillness. The deep breath that follows feels good, and I relax as I exhale. I am enjoying the scents of freshly ground coffee as they waft my way, and I focus my attention on that. I rub my hands slowly, massaging my aching thumbs. I can’t say I’m surprised that arthritis is developing in my thumbs; the joints most affected are those that are most involved in holding a pen, a brush, or a palette knife. It’s a cruel twist, but it’s not personal. These are fragile vessels and we learn too late how best to care for them. I look at my hands. I see signs of age there most clearly; small wrinkles tell the tale of years, shadows of fading bruises are reminders of hidden fragility.

…The clock ticks on…

It’s been almost two years since I lost my Dear Friend. I experience a fleeting pang of mortal dread… that ticking clock, you know? I chuckle to myself. A great many people in my lineage lived to advanced years – a handful well past 100 years. Many (most?) into their 90s. There’s no reason to rush toward the end, but it’s on my mind more than it needs to be, lately. I often finding myself wanting to “live forever” – there is much to see and do and learn and explore, and many questions to ask along the way. This moment here is simple and ordinary, but it’s also precious and entirely unique. Moments are fleeting. Savor them! I sip my coffee, glance at the time, and think my thoughts.

A friendlier than usual barista stops by my table to chat – a moment of recognition and visibilty. She(?) is curious about what I’m doing, what I’m writing about. I find a way to describe myself and my writing, briefly. I find this a challenging but sometimes useful exercise. We exchange names, and a few pleasant words. She returns to the work at hand, I turn my attention back to my writing, and this morning moment.

My momentarily dark mood seems to have mostly lifted. As it passes, my arthritis pain begins to return. These experiences are not related directly in any way but timing, and that is coincidental. I sip my coffee marveling at how easily we conflate unrelated events or see causality where there is none, simply due to timing. Human primates are interesting. (We aren’t as smart as we think we are.) I definitely don’t want to be around them all damned time. I sigh, and sip my coffee, daydreaming about getting in the car and just… driving toward the horizon. Alone. I feel a bitter smile twist the corner of my mouth; human primates are social creatures. My love of solitude is a reflection of trauma, of chaos, and damage. I’m not unaware of this, and it is part of “who I am”.

I stretch and sigh, and get ready to begin again.