Archives for posts with tag: we become what we practice

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I sit quietly along this trail, appreciating a new day, a good mood, and having enjoyed a good night of rest. Small things, and still worth appreciating. A lot of small things have joy and wonder and plenty of value worth appreciating.

One moment, and the dawn of a new day.

The western sky is taking on some lovely pink hues along the edges of the clouds. I hear voices coming up the trail, rather loud for so early. “…use this trail almost around the clock, so we….” They come into view as they round the bend. I call out a cheery “Good morning!”, hoping to avoid startling them. “Morning, Young Lady!”, one replies. “We’re going down to put up caution tape and cut off a section of this trail for safety,” says the other. I ask if I’ll still be able to walk the loop all the way around with a detour, and they reply that I will. They walk on. I wave as they depart and they return the gesture. Human beings, being human.

Our words matter. Our gestures matter. Our ability and willingness to include others and to communicate matter. We have so much to offer each other and the world. Good things. We choose, and act on our choices. The consequences of our choices are our own to endure, and to be responsible and accountable is not something we can dodge or defer indefinitely. The bills will always come due. Worth thinking about.

Choose wisely. Speak gently. Act with intention.

The clouds roll past overhead, and it’s a gray sort of dawn. For a moment I catch a glimpse of a luminous fat full moon peaking through clouds and tangled bare branches. Pretty. It doesn’t last. Moments are brief. Impermanent. There’s something to be learned from that. I sigh quietly. I am wrapped in contentment and not eager to move from this place or this moment. The clock is ticking, though, and moments don’t last, even when we linger.

I stand and brush some damp leaves off my jeans and look down the path. New day. New moments. Time to begin again. I smile to myself and set off down the path.

I got the call yesterday evening. My car was ready to be picked up from the body shop. It’s been two… three? Three weeks, since I had dropped it off. I think. Close enough. I’ve been enjoying the comfort and luxury features of my Traveling Partner’s pickup. It’s very nice.

… I already miss the heated steering wheel and seats. 😆 The view is quite different, too. It defrosts faster on a cold morning, and has such a smooth ride! I already know that I will replace my current vehicle with the same make as my Traveling Partner’s truck, having determined the SUV in their product line will suit me nicely. That time is not now… lol

The Anxious Adventurer gave me a ride over to the body shop. I walked past my car looking over the repair work. Wow. Like new. I mean, I guess that’s the point. I slid into the driver’s seat gently, and readjusted the seat position and the mirrors. I start it up…no squeak. I pull out, getting the feel of it again; it’s very different from the pickup. Less luxurious. Less…(or…more?) of something else I can’t put my finger on. Feels weird, but also very comfortable and familiar. I like this car. But…? Yeah. It has its quirks and shortcomings.

From the trail, the vehicle doesn’t matter.

I drove to the trailhead this morning, feeling pleased to be back in my car again. I do enjoy the truck when I drive it, but it isn’t mine. I don’t like leaving my Traveling Partner stuck at home either, now that he can drive when he wants to. I chuckle at myself for being vexed that timing will prevent me from reloading my gear into my car before the end of the work day. I let it go. It’s not urgent.

I head down the trail into the fog. It’s a chilly morning. The season seems uncertain whether to be winter or Spring. I love hitting the trail at a time of morning to see the sunrise. This morning it is bold orange, veiled by the fog, creating a strange diffuse glow on the morning horizon. To the west, only fog, and the trail disappearing into it.

Friday, at last. It’s been that kind of week. I sigh to myself. I’d eagerly drive somewhere and try a new trail this weekend, but I need new boots before I do that. The car is due for an oil change, too. I  feel fairly certain there were other things I want or need to do this weekend, but I can’t recall them now.

I breathe, exhale, and relax, tasting the cold morning air and watching the sun rise. I stretch and sigh quietly. It’s already time to begin again.

Another new day – I’m grateful. For the moment I am existing in the space between acknowledging the pain I’m in, and moving on from that awareness to living the day. This, too, is a practice.

The sun was rising as I reached the trailhead. I’ve been walking in the promising glow of early morning, a clear blue sky overhead, and a strip of orange on the eastern horizon. Lovely. It’s chilly but not really cold, about 5.5C (40F).

The tangle of oaks along this trail reach for the blue sky above.

Spring is coming. I see it in small growth buds on branches that will soon become leaves. Green stems of flowering plants and grasses are pushing through the matted decaying leaves. In the distant hills, I see snow in pockets of shady high places. In the lowlands I see mist and fog. Nice morning for walking.

A nice morning, generally.

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I meditate here among the trees, near the creek bank. It’s lovely. When my mind wanders, I pull it back to this moment, here, now. There is time to begin again, a little later. This moment is worth enjoying.

… Isn’t that the way of most moments? They’re worth enjoying or worth changing, and regardless of their worth they are fleeting. Quite temporary. I sigh to myself, grateful for pleasant moments in all their variety. Appreciative to have so few truly unpleasant ones (most of the time). Grateful to have choices when change is the wiser path.

Milky white clouds, formless and diffuse, high above, begin to move in, covering the beautiful blue of the sky. There’s a dense bank of storm clouds to the south, too. My arthritis agrees that more rain is coming. I sigh, reminded of the pain I’m in. Peculiarly, for the time of year, I hear thunder in the distance. How strange. I decide against lingering any longer. I get to my feet to finish my walk.

Time to begin again.

It was sprinkling when I left the house, but it had stopped by the time I got to the trailhead. I walked down the wet trail, through the oaks and between the vineyard rows, as daybreak became a new day. A Tuesday, and an ordinary work day.

I make my way down the trail, around the bend, and along the creek. Gray morning. Looks like winter, feels like Spring. I meditate as I walk, stopping to write a few words along the way. I’ll resume walking soon. The morning feels shorter somehow.

… Shorter than what? I’m not certain…

I’ve got an entire new day ahead of me. It’s already time to begin again. I sigh to myself and get ready to finish my walk and get started on work. The clock is ticking…

… I sit a moment longer, enjoying this quiet moment, and wondering where this path leads…

It’s raining. The sound of the raindrops on the roof of the pickup truck sounds like someone’s fingers flying across a keyboard, typing out the words of some dramatic narrative very quickly. It’s just rain.

…It wasn’t raining when I left the house…

Change is. I sip my coffee, enjoying the moment as it is. Later, work, still later than that, contractors at the house for a maintenance task. Routine enough, not at all exciting.

This morning I woke to blazing bright lights; I had slept until my silent alarm went off (rare). The morning has felt a little surreal so far, as though it is only a template for an ordinary day, a placeholder for choices not yet made, experiences not yet determined, or… something.

My arthritis is bad today. My tinnitus is loud. My left shoulder hurts with fresh pain, recent but I don’t know what I may have done to injure myself there. My left foot vexes me, now that I think I know what’s up with that (a worn out boot), it just annoys me. It’s a difficult morning for pain. I look grimly out over the vineyard and sip my coffee. It is what it is, and it’s not new that the rain and chill make it worse. I shrug in response to the thought, and feel pain shoot through my left shoulder. A strained or torn muscle? Certainly possible. Meh. I let my mind move on.

Yesterday evening, my Traveling Partner commented that he thought he might have a fun solution to my challenge finding time and energy for painting, and a creative outlet that might satisfy my yearning to paint. He hands me a tablet with a stylus and an app on it specifically for digital art. I haven’t explored digital art much… Curious, I take it up a bit timidly, but I definitely did find some joy and creative satisfaction there. I’ll be exploring this more. It’s well-suited to “artistic tinkering” and has a lot of potential for more. My beloved was right; it really suits the way I approach early drafts of new ideas.

I breathe, exhale, and relax. The morning still feels like a placeholder for some other day or time, or some moment anticipated but not yet here. Funny. Strange. I stretch and sigh and prepare to begin a new day.