Archives for posts with tag: AI

I’m sitting at the halfway point on this local trail, enjoying the moment of rest, and the quiet of the predawn darkness. It’s not cold, only chilly. The pavement is damp from recent rain. I breathe the rain-freshened air contentedly, and sit in this moment. I don’t need more, not right now, anyway. This is enough.

I am briefly distracted from this real life moment by a notable urge to uninstall apps from my phone. 😆 Like a lot of people, I’m over so much of this deceitful invasive bullshit seeking to scrape another dollar from my bank account. It’s gross. Sell me a product or service and let me enjoy it – or at least use it without interference or hindrance, and definitely without a fucking subscription, or mining my personal data.

When did you last read a bound book? When did you most recently meet up with a friend in the real world, and spend the time talking with each other without ever touching your smartphone? Take notes on real paper? How about board games with friends? Drinks and conversations by a fire outside? Window shopping in town, on foot, for the fun of it? Real places and real experiences with actual human beings have so much more depth and nuance than text-based interactions online, or anything at all to do with LLMs and chatbots. Real world experiences may feel a bit less “safe”, (mostly due to the potential for contagion or gun violence) but the nuance and authenticity are worth risking a head cold, and with some care and situational awareness gun violence is relatively rare and generally avoidable. The virtual spaces we frequent have risks of their own. We’re making choices. Choose wisely. Choose human.

No AI here. No subscription (for you – I do pay for the hosting and services on this platform). Just one human being sharing thoughts, experiences, and practices with other human beings. (Thanks for taking the time!) … But seriously? You could be having a real conversation with another person on this very same topic, right now.

… I’m even suggesting it…

How many hours a day are your eyes on a screen, instead of the horizon? How many interactions with others are through some user interface on some digital platform, instead of looking into the eyes of that other person and hearing their words? Many hours probably, and dozens or even hundreds of people. Isn’t that a little sad? Go outside! Talk to your neighbors! Make actual friends of other real human beings… while you have the option, and the social skills. I’m just saying the digital world is a dim substitute.

Our mortal lives are too short as it is, please don’t waste yours as a consumer cog in a billionaire’s infinite money machine. Life has so much more to offer you. Books, movies, flowers, clouds, flavors, trails, shops, cafes… An entire world exists for our enjoyment. Don’t waste your moment.

I sigh to myself. These are not new thoughts. I often turn my ringer off to allow myself to focus on my lived experience in the moment. I’m not inclined to be bullied by a device. Two years of caregiving meant leaving my notifications on almost 24/7, and it has been hard dealing with the constant other pings on my consciousness while staying alert for my Traveling Partner to reach out if he needs me when I’m away from the house. Necessary for the time, less so now. It is a difficult habit to break, but it is important not to allow these devices to determine what I put my attention on. It takes practice.

I breathe, exhale, and relax. The sky lightens to a gray-seeming dawn, although the sky is clear. There’s a smudge of dirty orange on the eastern horizon. I hear footsteps and tense up momentarily, as I turn to see the night watchman from the nearby construction site approach on his end of shift walk. “Good morning, young lady!” he calls to me, “Almost didn’t see you there.” I wave and wish him a cheery good morning as he passes, and watch as he disappears around the next bend.  I continue to sit contentedly awhile longer. It is a work day, but I’m in no hurry. This moment is mine.

Real.

The clock ticks on. Winter is already slowly becoming Spring. I gaze into the tangled treetops, no specific purpose or thought on my mind, just enjoying the moment as it is. It’s enough. I breathe, exhale, and relax, and get comfortable for meditation, before I begin again.

I’m sipping my coffee – still too hot to drink – and thinking about writing. I’m not really writing quite yet, no ideas. I had a thought yesterday afternoon…another yesterday evening…and as I drifted off to sleep last night, a great idea for a title came to mind (I don’t remember it now). It’s that kind of morning. I am “an empty vessel” this morning. This is rare for me. I nearly always sit down to an empty page, and simply write. Another person might reach for some app or write a prompt for an LLM… I just sit sipping my coffee and letting my thoughts, such as they are, guide my fingers.

I am a human being, writing for other human beings.

I am generally employed with companies that are “AI forward” in some significant measure. AI is the new “revenue engine”. Investors and shareholders want to see “AI” in the quarterly presentation decks and annual meetings. They don’t necessarily understand it, or have any idea what “AI” really means in any given context. Companies sometimes take advantage of this, using the language and terms of AI in marketing materials, but without changing anything in their product, services, or app. In this environment, most people pay lip service to the AI hype, whether or not they are impassioned “true believers”. In my own role, I consider myself fortunate; it’s part of the job to take a skeptical view, to find the flaws, to be watchful and cautious, and to reduce risk. I rarely use AI in my work, instead I scrutinize it in the work of others. This suits me, and I enjoy it. I am not an AI fan, and I am not interested in hype. I maintain sufficient proficiency with AI to be able to detect the problems – and I’m focused on those. Can AI do fast work? Sure. It’s superficial and rather same-y, though, and it makes a lot of mistakes (and it absolutely makes shit up and cites references to work that does not exist) and has no comprehension; it does not have an “understanding” of a single word it produces. Worse still, as it works it degrades the working skills of the users who seek its services. Human primate intelligence does not benefit from the use of AI tools.

Brain rot is a real concern

I absolutely do not use AI to write. I like writing. I like seeing words creeping across the page that have come from my own thoughts, to the page by way of my skillful hands on the keyboard. I enjoy the rhythm and the sound. I enjoy the sensation of communicating and of “being heard”. I have born witness to writers using AI and seen the damage to their ability to write unassisted, as time goes on. Creators who create without AI risk giving up much if they capitulate to using it. Thanks, I’d rather not. Creators who exclusively use AI to create are not actually creators at all (imo) – until and unless they learn to create on their own, in the medium of their choice, without an AI crutch. Few seem to – although I don’t know why they would bother, if the point is “make some money”, and the AI slop they generate does so for them.

I sip my coffee and reflect on progress and technology, and whether humanity has a shot at long-term survival in the face of our foolishness, violence, and short-sighted greed. I suspect we do not, and that saddens me. We’re pretty interesting creatures – seems a shame to put ourselves on the path to extinction, but we may be honestly too stupid to be good planetary stewards who work together as a global culture towards a greater good for all. We are too easily divided and controlled by petty bullshit. There are too many greedy billionaires (I realize how redundant that is, as I write the words), too few wellsprings of real wisdom and goodness, and the rest of us are kept distracted by the seeming urgency of earning a living day-to-day, too busy to look up from our present task to see whether the world really is burning, or do much to change that, once we discover that it is.

I wonder where this path leads?..

I sigh to myself. The week is already almost over. If I focus on work, it feels very much as if this time has been empty and rather pointless, to me personally. There is more to my experience (and my humanity) than my work (meaning my “gainful employment” with one corporate overlord or another). I write. I paint. I laugh. I feel. I explore. I contemplate. I enjoy walking beaches and forest trails. I like the sparkle of glitter, and of seeing the lights of cities from a great height. I enjoy a walk with no destination. I like a drive from wherever I am to some distant horizon. I enjoy a few minutes of idle conversation with a stranger – and I like walking away from it, into some lovely solitary moment. I read and I think, and I seek out things to see. I write poetry. I paint sunrises and moments by the fireside. I have deep discusses with friends, solving nothing in a practical way, but deepening our connection. I love deeply, and enjoy a profound partnership with my beloved Traveling Partner. (Isn’t my capacity for love more important than my capacity for staring into spreadsheets day after day?) I have endured much, and I continue to be and to become. I am one human being, being human. No AI needed (or wanted).

There’s a work day ahead, and I amuse myself by recalling a favorite way of demonstrating AI flaws (I find), which is using it to summarize big group meetings. For anyone who was at the meeting (and paying attention), the tells and flaws are obvious; AI is sometimes (often)(commonly) very wrong about what was said, who said it, and what the “take aways” from the discussion are. It doesn’t reason or comprehend, so it doesn’t actually “understand” what the salient points of a discussion were. It’s just playing fill in the blank and counting up words. AI is “stupid fast” – meaning that it is both stupid, and also very fast. Idiomatic language, accents, and variations in individual clarity of speech result in some hilariously “off” transcriptions of conversations. It would be quite humorous, if it weren’t so terrifying that in spite of these limitations people are using these tools and making decisions that affect real people with the slop turned out by AI. Yeesh. Do better, people. The survival of humanity likely depends on you being smart enough to preserve (and develop) your own cognitive skills and tools, your ability to reason and make good decisions, and your actual sentience. Choose wisely. Take the time to learn to do the things you want to do, instead of trying to cheat your way through life and work with fucking “AI” (it isn’t intelligent, at all).

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I let all that go and sit enjoying my coffee here in a real physical space, listening to the sounds of voices in the background (real people busy with real things). I exist in this physical real place. Don’t you? (What are you doing to improve it? Anything? The clock is ticking…) I smile a good-morning to the barista who greets me in passing, and waggle my fingertips at her as something like a wave, without lifting my hands from the keyboard. Actual human primates observed in their natural environment. I chuckle, aware that we are not necessarily “domesticated” creatures, and that our behavior can be wildly unpredictable, even dangerous. Funny that we adopt such airs of grandeur and dignity, so often – we can be vicious, vile, messy, and prone to casually spreading disease. I sigh to myself, hoping to do a little better at being the person I most want to be today, compared to yesterday. Incremental change over time is effective, if slow. I become what I practice; there’s no choice there, it is what it is. The choice is in what I choose to practice.

What are you practicing? Will that help you become the person you most want to be? The journey is the destination. Is it time to begin again?

Seems to be very effective so far… probably doesn’t hurt that the path is mine, and that I choose it myself.

I don’t use AI in my writing. Not here. Not at all. These are my human words (spelling errors, excessive use of ellipses and all). I write what I write, from the contents of my own actual thoughts. Sometimes I am inspired by my environment, or my experience, or my past, or something I saw or heard, or a video I watched, which is the case right now.

Is ChatGPT turning everyone into bots? This video answers that question “yes”. You may want to watch this and think about your own position on using LLMs like ChatGPT. Are you undermining your ability to write, think, reason, make decisions, or simple be? I watched this video – then I watched it again. I’m grateful for the discernment to be exceedingly skeptical of the value in these tools that have become so readily available. There’s a longer video on this theme that is worth watching, if you are seeking clarity regarding what these LLMs are actually capable of.

The tl;dr from my perspective? I use GPTs and LLMs in the context of my professional work, and only do so reluctantly (and in a very limited way) due to obvious issues with inaccuracy and bogus citations (but it is a requirement for some elements of the work I currently do). I keep it to a minimum and approach every reluctant use with a stern critical eye, vigilant and wary, doing my best to detect every error, every lie, every misleading bit of bullshit. Trusting an “AI” (it isn’t intelligent) or LLM is like trusting MadLibs. lol Don’t do that. Definitely don’t worship the fucking things, or seek love from them. They’re bots. They don’t (and can’t) think, feel, reason, or demonstrate actual judgement. It’s just software, not an independent consciousness.

… It’s not even clear that the designers and developers are reliably decent human beings who are committed to bettering the world for everyone…

Don’t let ChatGPT (or any other LLM) steal your humanity from you! You’re better than that – even if your spelling is poor, and you’re not sure what to say in that email (or conversation). Do your best – it’ll be better than a bot! Be human with your whole self. Be present. Be aware. Feel and experience each moment of your life – it’s already ridiculously brief and quite finite. Don’t let a bot steal what little there is. You can choose differently. It’s probably for the best that you not take life advice from software that has never, and will never, live. (And maybe don’t be so trusting that billionaires seeking still more wealth and power are going to give you free stuff or look after your interests “out of the goodness of their hearts”, without something in it for them personally.)

Your choices matter.

Moments in life are worth savoring. We don’t know when some occasion will be the last of such things. Being present in each experience tends to make a more detailed, more lasting memory, and a stronger impression on our implicit sense of the quality of our life. That’s been my own experience, at least. Falling headlong through experiences without consideration, thought, choice, or awareness, doomscrolling through the days, shortens our time and gives us little to recall later. I sip my coffee and think on that. I also think about how precious and meaningful it is to me that my beloved Traveling Partner reads my blog. I feel “heard” when he comments on something I have written.

Last night my partner recommended a video, we watched it together. He was inspired to share it because he found that it connected with some of my recent writing. I am moved and grateful that he cares so much, and gives such thought to my reflections in these moments when we are not together. I will say, if you’re prone to existential dread, this video may provoke it. It is, however, interesting and definitely does connect to some of my thoughts on this fragile mortal experience, and what remains behind once we’ve moved on.

The point though, really, is that wandering about with our device in our hands, relying on our GPS to get anywhere, counting on calendar reminders to remember anything we plan, seeking guidance through prompts in an LLM, doomscrolling endlessly through timeless hours of eye candy, click-bait, memes, and what passes for “news” in the age of modern media, and generally behaving as if we are puppets without agency is almost certainly a very poor choice for the survival of humanity long-term, in addition to being just a shit way to live life. As poor a choice as that run-on sentence you just finished reading.

Did you know there are already people who feel they are losing their ability to think and reason because of their use of “AI” (it isn’t actually artificial intelligence, at all). Brain rot is a real thing happening to real people. Did you know there are people who have begun actually worshiping “AI” (LLMs) as gods? No kidding, this is a thing people are doing. I mean, certainly an LLM has demonstrable reality in our worldly existence, and certainly we do create our gods, but this seems like potentially a very bad idea likely to do real world harms, doesn’t it? What a world. Maybe do at least some of your own thinking? Your literal survival may depend on those skills at some point (almost certainly). Read a book. Hell, read a book about AI if you’re so interested. Read several. Go outside, you know – on your own, out in the actual world, seeing sights, listening to the sound of birdsong and breezes, and see where your path may take you. Look at an actual paper map. Study it and gain understanding of how the symbols represent the world. Take in the information without voice-over narration. Look at a flower up close. Watch wildlife exist in actual outdoor spaces – real creatures, alive, and aware. Breathe fresh air. Feel the sunshine or the rain on your skin. Have a conversation with a random live human being. Try out your social skills before they erode completely, leaving you unable to ask simple directions to a known location or unable to enjoy a party.

…Remember parties?..

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I had arrived home last night feeling pretty okay. The commute wasn’t all that bad (I took a route that, although busier, had no construction and thus less stress). I was feeling sort of cross fairly quickly, though. No fault of anyone else in the household, and I did my best to keep my bullshit in check (with good success). I just needed some quiet alone time; it’s been a ridiculously busy “people-filled” week, full of conversations, meetings, and interactions, and I had started to have that “everyone wants a piece of me” feeling. I felt a bit overwhelmed and encroached upon, which seriously conflicted with my desire to enjoy my Traveling Partner’s companionship at the end of a long (busy) day. He gently suggested maybe a nice shower, and I had been thinking maybe some video games – but the idea of either honestly just felt like “more work”, at least initially. He was right about the shower; it did a lot to put me in a better frame of mind, and after preparing dinner (cold sesame noodles with chicken) I felt more like playing video games for a little while. The evening ended well and I got over my bullshit and enjoyed the time with my partner. Self-care is an important and worthwhile practice.

Life being lived. Did you notice? Not one word about the news. My device mostly sat idle. We listened to music. Watched a couple videos. Hung out in the quiet good-natured merry vibe of a happy family at home. Dinner was yummy, though I think I could have done some things a little differently and gotten a better result. I didn’t use a device or an “AI” – the recipe is in an actual bound cookbook. I wrote notes in the margin while I was cleaning up dinner, so next time I have my own thoughts waiting for me when I make this again, some other time. Pen and paper – my vote for humanity’s greatest invention. (Reading and writing would likely be my opinion for the most valuable skills not directly related to survival.) Later in the evening a friend who lives on our street stopped by to visit awhile. All very human, life being lived. Awake. Aware. Present.

I’m just going to say it; ChatGPT not only is not a god, it’s not even your friend. (Neither are the tech bros who developed it on stolen intellectual property with personal profit as their primary goal.) This is true of any LLM currently in existence. The 2025 version of “AI” is not intelligent, has no cognition, does not reason, can not feel emotions or sensations, and is 100% dependent on the content it is trained on by human beings capable of actually doing, feeling, understanding, thinking, imagining, extrapolating, and really experiencing life. Why bother asking ChatGPT to do for you what you could do for yourself? Short-term efficiency? What about the long-term consequences of allowing your own skills to atrophy (or never allowing them to develop through use and practice and effort)?

Gudetama – the lazy egg. A meme, a character, a metaphor.

Life is sweet. Suck the juice out of every delicious fruitful moment! Choose your path. Choose your adventure. Try your skills (and your luck). Live. Isn’t having your own experience – and your own thoughts about it – more worthy of your human potential than relying on some predigested homogenous content built primarily on out-of-date information, provided to you in response to a prompt that you potentially took from someone else?? Be you. No LLM can do that for you. No response to a ChatGPT prompt can guide you as well as you can guide yourself through study, practice, and endless curiosity.

Are you still reading? I’m impressed. 😀 Thank you for indulging me. Sometimes I feel like an “old man yelling at clouds” or as if I am “screaming into the void“, when I rant about this stuff. Life is so precious and short, and our abilities need practice to maintain them. We’re pretty fancy primates – but we are primates, and some of what makes us so special is very much a “use it or lose it” proposition. Don’t diminish yourself through dependency on AI. Please. You are so much more than that. We become what we practice. What are you practicing?

It’s your choice. The journey is the destination; choose your path wisely. Isn’t it time to begin again?

I’m thinking about moments. So many moments make up a lifetime, eh? Opportunities. Chances. Choices. Sometimes I stumble down life’s path, sometimes I stride down the path feeling confident that I am heading in the “right” direction. Wherever the journey takes me, it is my own.

Stuck in summer construction traffic, I take in the view.

I watch the mostly full moon setting as I lace up my boots. I’m at the trailhead. I remember that I have an appointment this morning, and that timing matters. I add things to my shopping list; that matters, too. Small details. Steps on a path.

Trying to capture the full moon as I head out this morning, a mostly unsuccessful endeavor; it’s the wrong camera for this shot.

Sirens in the distance remind me that life is fleeting, and moments pass quickly. My tinnitus is loud in my ears. In an instant, I am aware of my mortality, and the passage of time. These precious mortal moments so often pass by unnoticed, uncelebrated, and unshared. “Is there anyone even out there?” I wonder to myself. I think about bots, algorithms, and attempts to create artificial intelligence…to what actual purpose? “Efficiency?” Profit? I don’t think these things are actually meaningful or worthy, really, and it is so human to get that shit so very wrong.

I keep walking.

How long does it take for the moon to set on a summer morning?

I sit at my halfway point thinking my thoughts and considering my path, “in real life” and as a metaphor. I breathe, exhale, and relax, enjoying this moment, right here, now. It’s a fleeting fragile thing, a moment. It exists, and then it is gone, leaving behind only a memory (and sometimes not even that).

I watch little birds for awhile. Swallows so swift in the air, and little reddish birds on the fence rail chirping merrily. I wonder if they are aware of moments? I sit with my thoughts and my breath, on the edge of this path, between moments.

Soon enough it will be time to begin again, in some other moment…