Archives for posts with tag: do the verbs

Pretty morning. Quiet. I’ve got a manicure appointment later, and maybe I’ll spend time in the studio working on a new piece. My approach to painting is slower these days, contemplative and unhurried, and inspired by thoughtful slow consideration before turning my attention to the easel and beginning the work. This is a profound change from large abstractions executed quickly from a passing emotion. I have three unfinished canvases from my acrylic work that may never be completed; the feeling has passed, and I no longer understand the work from the original perspective. I’ve lost those moments. In each case, this is a good thing, for me, subjectively.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

Another sunrise, another day, another moment to begin from.

I arrived at the trailhead in darkness. I waited long enough to make out the trail without a headlamp; I need to replace my old one, which finally gave up on me while I was camping last month. I can’t complain; it was a cheaply made headlamp I didn’t pay much for, and it lasted for a decade (more?) with just one change of batteries. I won’t be walking in darkness for awhile though, until I replace my headlamp.

Alone but not alone.

Shared experiences are strange. They don’t all happen simultaneously. As I start down the trail I see that someone has placed a pair of child-sized sunglasses on a rock. No doubt lost by some child. A bit of human experience left behind by some human being who shares the experience of walking this trail with me, though we have never met. We each have our own experience of this trail, our own recollection of it, and our own understanding afterward of what it meant. Same trail. Different moments. Shared but different experiences. I think about that as I walk.

I enjoyed a quiet pleasant evening with my Traveling Partner yesterday. We shared the experience of our life together from different rooms doing different things for most of the day. No harsh words or hard feelings, we were simply doing our own things. We both had difficult nights, and the fatigue (and steps taken to address it) kept us both wary of missteps that could cause drama. We were gentle and careful with each other. I hope he felt as loved as I did when the day ended.

“Human” is messy and difficult sometimes. It is worth it to give people room to fuck up, fail, make it right, and grow from the experience.

… I wonder what color to get my nails done this time..?

I sit at the river’s edge, on the bank well above a wee bit of something beach-like that shows signs of being favored by fishermen, thinking my thoughts and watching the water flow past, still and glossy on the surface, reflecting the trees of the far bank. There’s a bit of mist visible, as the sun rises.

Summer morning perspective on a moment.

Minutes later, sunlight illuminates the treetops, changing shadowy greens to bright green and gold. Time passes without a clock, like the river flowing past below me. I sigh to myself, ignoring the awareness of the sense of a ticking clock. I have a better relationship with time than I did in my twenties. I can mostly ignore that fucking clock and just enjoy the moment as it is. I smile to myself and watch as a single yellow leaf falls slowly from somewhere above.

…Time still passes, whether I watch or not…

I smile to myself a little wistfully, fragments of memories tap at my consciousness wanting my attention, but I’m not interested in swimming in those nostalgic waters this morning, choosing instead to leave the surface of my consciousness untouched, calm, instead.

A new dawn, a new day, a new moment; where does this path lead?

I breathe, exhale, and relax. Plenty of time for meditation. I’ve got the day ahead of me. I hope my beloved got the rest he needed and enjoyed a gentle night. I breathe the summer air deeply. I consider the day and the path ahead. “Choose wisely,” I remind myself.

The morning feels chilly on the trail as daybreak comes. The forecast says the day will be hot. My short sleeves manage to feel like a poor choice for the moment, right now.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

The weekend was pretty amazing. Not easy, not comfortable, not entirely peaceful or joyful, but certainly heartfelt, deeply connected and meaningful. A necessary step on a long journey together, I suppose. Weirdly, I am missing my Traveling Partner intensely this morning, though he is no further away than home. Funny how subjective our emotions and perception of reality can be. We really are each having our own experience.

I’m thinking about one detail of the weekend that matters greatly to me. For context, many years ago, living in Germany, I bought an RC car kit. I was excited about it. It was a very detailed kit that required me to build it more or less entirely from a box of parts. When it was built it was amazing and ran beautifully! I was so excited. My then-husband helped me a bit with some of the electrical pieces I didn’t understand, but in general seemed not exactly uninterested, but watchful. Very little time passed before he stomped my car to pieces in a fit of rage. I only got to drive it once. Since then I haven’t considered RC cars as a hobby. I pushed the whole issue – car, enthusiasm, trauma, tears, and lingering baggage left behind – into a tiny box in a dark corner of my mind and memory, and marked it “do not open”.

… This weekend I opened the box…

More specifically, my Traveling Partner did, without planning to. It started some weeks ago with him buying me a drone and sharing time together learning and taking the TRUST test to safely and legally fly recreationally. It started with the first time I flew my drone – and realized quickly that I’m maybe not personally ideally suited for hobbies that include actual flight. (A combination of neck pain, poor eyesight, and cognitive limitations that make remembering all the many rules and restrictions difficult make flying difficult, nothing tragic.) I said something about having once had an RC car, and quickly realized my mistake; the box was open. I tried to close it up again, only to find myself standing in a big pile of stinking rotting baggage that had to be cleaned up at long last.

The way out is through. It was one more bit of trauma to work through. I like cars. I like driving. I like the fun and delight of miniatures. I like tinkering with small machines. My Traveling Partner gently forced the issue into the open. We talked. I gave up my drone with an emotionally difficult admission that my interest in flying a drone was more about loving him and sharing the time and fun with him. I admitted I prefer cars. He was encouraging and supportive and even pointing out that we could still enjoy that fun together; him flying, me driving.

I know there will still be reflections of past trauma to heal and old baggage to unpack… but I’ve taken a big step. I watched numerous videos with my beloved. We talked cars for hours and looked at videos. He likes cars, too, and has a love of, and affinity for, machines generally. So many choices. We looked at all kinds of RC cars in a variety of scales and styles. I found one car that really captivated me. Again and again, it turned up in moments of “ooh!”, “ah!”, and “wow!”. He talked about driving to the hobby store together and I was an eager yes. At some point he gently asked if I might find value in going alone, and independently making my choice and purchase, having settled on a budget (he has an astute sense of such things and reliably takes steps to support my autonomy and emotional wellness). I definitely knew which car I wanted. Calling the shop had confirmed they had one. I admitted I’d enjoy going by myself. He assured me he had work he needed to get done and kissed me sweetly, all love, before I left.

Zoom zoom.

… I have an RC car. I drove it that very evening after charging the batteries. She’s super cute and crazy fast (even on the lowest speed I was blown away by how fast she zips along). I stared a piece of profound emotional damage in the face and said, at long last, “you have no power over me”, and meant it. That’s a powerful step on this journey.

… and I even got the laundry done…

I smile as the sun rises, thinking about life, love, drones and RC cars. I think about beginnings. I think about the next time I get to drive – maybe after work today? I think about building a display diorama to park my car in when I’m not driving her. 😆 I breathe, exhale, and relax, grateful for this partnership and the beautiful weekend of deep connection and heartfelt conversations. I forget, momentarily, that it is Monday.

There was more to the weekend and to the work and changes that will come out of it, but this is representative of the character of the weekend generally. Loving partners working honestly through a variety of issues together in a meaningful loving way. Beautiful.

I sit smiling in the summer sunshine filled with gratitude, contentment, and love. It’s a nice beginning to a new week. August already? The clock is ticking. I get to my feet to begin again.

Walking with my thoughts at daybreak. I have a Benjamin Tod song stuck in my head. The refrain is direct and deeply meaningful for me.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

Life is defined by decisions
You may burn bridges you ain’t got time to mend
You’re too old to be in this condition
You’re too young for the lord to take in

Real. Life is defined by our decisions, or at least shaped by them significantly. We are shaped by circumstances. Shaped by trauma. Shaped by our decisions. When I give it too much thought I begin to feel the mighty fist of fate squeezing and molding me with as little regard for me individually as a toddler with Play-Doh. Here I am.

Yesterday was “defined by” decisions, for sure. A lot of words come to mind, but I still have a lot to consider and process and put into future decisions. Verbs.

My beloved reads my writing (almost every day). One of the most delightful things about my Traveling Partner reading my writing is that I feel very “seen” – visible. Understood. When I make some point very well, he takes a moment to let me know and sometimes shares my writing. It’s something I appreciate.

One of the most uncomfortable things about my Traveling Partner reading my writing is that I am very visible; he sees where I am falling short on good self-care, and when I let some critical practice fall by the wayside. He points out hypocrisy. He calls me on my bullshit. When I’m struggling with something I’ve dealt with before, he observes the pattern and redirects my attention to some previous bit of writing with which I can support myself and get back on track. This too I appreciate – but it is uncomfortable as hell. I’m grateful. We don’t grow from comfortable experiences.

…If I were a better person, perhaps I would find a more gracious approach to accepting his support. I sigh to myself. I can be a resentful defensive asshole about feedback sometimes. I can do better. I’ll practice…

Our conversations yesterday were powerful, raw, deeply meaningful, heartfelt, frank, and vulnerable. I’m not going to call it a good time – but it was needed and I feel more deeply connected with my partner as a result. That’s good stuff. The discomfort doesn’t last. The feeling of connection can, if I feed it some verbs.

The sun lights the treetops, looking a bit like autumn.

The morning is cloudy. It feels like it may actually rain. After I finish my walk, it’s another day of laundry, and chores and housekeeping. My pain feels pretty well managed. I’ll work on keeping it that way.

… Life is defined by decisions…

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I’m still more questions than answers. Still a student of life, practicing practices, doing my best, and taking this journey without a map one step at a time. Incremental change over time really does add up, but it is a slow process, and we definitely can’t expect the promise of future progress to satisfy every circumstance. It is what it is (which is to say slow and uncomfortable, but worth the effort).

I smile thinking about enjoying a cup of coffee with my beloved before I set off for my walk this morning. Vulnerable is hard. Connected is supremely beautiful. These experiences are related; connection requires vulnerability. I am good at neither of these. I sigh to myself at the admission. Okay, now that I’ve said it, where does that leave me? Standing on the edge a beginning, I guess.

Summer meadow flowers

I sit watching a new day begin. It’s time isn’t it? We create a lot of our experience. Our lives are defined by our decisions. Choose wisely. Do the verbs. The clock is ticking. Fuck it all up? Well, shit, learn something and begin again. Learn what matters most. Decide who you most want to be. Do those verbs. Didn’t work out? Do something different. Incremental change over time will continue to shape and define you. It’s a process.

I sit awhile longer reflecting on the progress I’ve seen my partner make in the lifetime we’ve spent together. He’s certainly playing the game on advanced settings. We’ve traveled a long and difficult journey together. It is an adventure I hope to continue all of my mortal days (and whatever may be beyond them).

It’s time to begin. Again.

I woke shortly before my alarm lit my room. (That became important later, because I forgot to shut it off.) I dressed quietly, grateful for clear sinuses and no sign of allergies. I left the house without making any obvious noise and stepped outside into…a thunderstorm. Huh. No kidding? Those used to be quite rare, here.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

I got to the trail and started walking. Watching the flashes of lightning. Listening to the thunder. Smelling the scent of petrichor. Feeling raindrops on my bare arms. Shit. I didn’t put on my lightweight hoodie or remember my rain poncho. I walk hoping it doesn’t rain harder, still enjoying the sensations of the morning.

A different beginning. A different day.

It didn’t last long. We often create the conflict we find ourselves dealing with. Our actions have consequences. My failure to turn off my alarm became a seriously crappy start to my Traveling Partner’s morning – and he let me know in very clear and specific terms.

… I’ll definitely be more careful about my fucking alarm in the future…

Stormy weather.

I’m grateful that the climate is quite good, even when the weather is bad, metaphorically speaking.

I made a plan, yesterday, to get away for a couple days. I’ll head out in the afternoon Friday, make the drive (grateful for the long summer days) to the location that I hope has an available site, and counting on disbursed camping if that campground is full. Everything reservable within a three hour drive is booked for this weekend, but this particular camping area is all first come/first served, so I’ve at least got a chance. My Traveling Partner suggested maybe a shorter getaway and booking a room might be the better option, but most of the affordable places are full (and everywhere is peak season pricing). So… Taking my chances on camping.

… I’m rarely out of cell phone range these days, but this trip will definitely take me beyond most signals. I wonder if that will be weird for us? It’s been a long time since we couldn’t just message each other whenever we like.

…I’m looking forward to the digital break…

Now it’s a couple of days and a bunch of preparation. I’ll shop for groceries and mostly finish loading the car today, and get my nails done (short). After work (short day) on Friday, I’ll pack up last minute items, kiss my beloved, and head out. Oh damn I am looking forward to the drive, maybe even more than the camping. 😆

…The weather seems good for it; I’ll bring my paint box and my easel…

I look at the morning sky, watching the lightning and chatting with my partner between sentences as I write. Soon enough it will be time to begin again. For now I’ll just enjoy the moment I’m in.

I woke gently to my alarm brightening the room. I dressed, and slipped away quietly after I watered the lawn. Today I headed south, back to Basket Slough, but I took an alternate turn into the park, to a different trailhead, and a different perspective. Sometimes I need fresh perspective.

[No AI is used in writing or editing this blog. This is human content for human readers.]

I parked and sat for a few minutes, listening to the sounds of the birds. So many! This trail is at the base of the hills which the trail on the other side of the park climbs into. There is a lake nearby, and this lowland trail leads to and alongside it, if the map is to be believed.

Where this trail leads.

… The map is not the world…

I set off down the trail shortly after daybreak. It is a mild morning, a bit cool, and the air smells of meadow flowers. There are so many different bird songs, even the gronking of geese and the quacking of ducks. The morning sky is cloudy.

A new day, a new path, a new beginning; bring your verbs!

I step down the trail feeling sure footed and unbothered. Lovely morning for it. I stay alert for creatures, and spot bunnies and chipmunks, and signs of something larger – maybe a skunk? Little birds everywhere.

Natural camouflage.

I keep heading down the path. I’m not expecting any sort of convenient stopping place but I happen upon a badly deteriorated primitive bench. It’s enough for a few minutes off my feet, writing. I pause for awhile.

A bench, a view, a moment.

The morning begins to feel quite chilly as I sit with my thoughts. I’m okay with that, I wore suitably warm clothing for a chilly morning.

I reflect on the weekend thus far. It’s been a pleasant one. My Traveling Partner has gotten some work done. We enjoyed some time together flying our drones (I’m still very much a beginner, still learning the basics). Unexpectedly gusty winds brought us down early, but it was incredible to see my drone in the air.

…I still have so much to learn..!

I sit looking out over the water, thinking thoughts about life, feeling strangely sleepy. I watch bunnies venture out onto the trail. They watch me. I watch them. I think about life. I think about laundry. I watch a bird of prey sailing on the air currents overhead.

I watch dawn become a new day.

Damn… I think I could use a nap! I laugh to myself. A nap would certainly be on the other side of the walk back to the parking, which seems now to be so much more distant. 😆 The walk… the drive…a shower… I’ll need to begin again to get there at all!

… That is the way of things. It is necessary to pick a step forward and get started to get anywhere…

I yawn and stretch and get to my feet. Maybe also some dusting and vacuuming? It’s on my list… and it’s time to begin again. Some moments are beautiful walks along a lakefront trail. Some moments are housework. It’s definitely time to begin again.