Archives for posts with tag: job search

I’m sipping my coffee and thinking about how often it seems that the solution – or greatest likelihood for that potential – is found within some relatively simple practice or task, and that all that is required is to do that thing. In this instance, I am thinking about my anxiety, which has recently flared up pretty severely – enough to amount to a reduction in quality of life and even a cognitive impairment. Unpleasant, for sure. Wrecks my sleep. Causes stressful rumination and massive thinking errors. Renders me defensive and likely to take dumb shit personally. Kicks over a domino effect of other challenges associated with both emotional and physical health. What is the simple practice that relieves my anxiety, reduces my “second dart” suffering, and restores the joy in my experience? Meditation. Mostly. Self-care, generally.

In my case, this time around, the drivers of my anxiety and my background stress are generally to do with work. More specifically, employment (and the implied day-to-day details of working for a living) and being employed, and spending X portion of my days dedicated to someone else’s agenda in return for cash. So… I took a closer look at two details: my self-care practices as they are, and the conditions at work that drive my stress. I checked for mismatched self-care-to-stress and no surprise, I found it. So, I have room to improve on how I manage my stress. Okay. Good starting point. I began there, with the weekend. Then, I examined the work conditions that are causing the stress and asked myself some basic questions…

  1. Are the current stressful conditions likely temporary, or more likely to be chronic, long-term, or characteristic of the role I’m in?
  2. Do I have realistic expectations?
  3. Are there obvious steps I can take to improve conditions thus reducing my stress?
  4. Is this job my only option?
  5. Is this job truly what I want to be doing – just as it is – or am I committed to the paycheck more than the role?

You can see where this leads. So, I took the time to reflect, and found that it made things “feel less personal” – which is useful, because things of this sort are rarely personal, and getting mired in that feeling can make it so much tougher to practice good self-care, or make skillful decisions about what I do with my time.

Over the weekend, I updated my resume. Looked over some other opportunities. Every new adventure leads to new questions, and new knowledge, and we don’t know what we don’t know. It’s a path. The journey is the destination.

There’s always room for a new beginning. 🙂

I finish my coffee, and sit with my thoughts for a moment. Soon enough I’ll set up the work day. First, I think I’ll take time for meditation, and maybe enjoy a short walk. Then? I’ll begin again. 😀

Well, it’s been not quite two weeks since the lay-off. I’m pretty okay. There are things to do, steps to take, appointments to keep, and all of it needs the same sort of consistent focused attention as any other set of work-related tasks. It’s hardly any different, although my time is so entirely more “my own” than it otherwise would be. That’s worth thinking about. There’s something to learn here.

The week ahead seems pretty full. No slack in it. I’ve got a couple interviews. A couple errands to run. A meeting with a career counselor sort of person with the State as part of the unemployment process. A meeting with a “land softly” sort of professional provided by my former employer. Meetings are meetings. Feels like I’m still working. lol Routine. The lay-off itself already feels like a far more distant moment than the 12 days ago it actually was. I start to wonder if that perspective is “strange” and quickly lose interest and move on to studying a professional field of endeavor adjacent to my “regular” day-to-day sort of professional role. It sounds interesting, and I feel ready for a change. Maybe this is a good time?

I laugh at myself for thinking – even for a moment – that I’m organized about all of this. I just now managed to hold on to “today is Sunday” simultaneously with “don’t forget to submit your weekly unemployment claim”. LOL (It’s just a task, and quickly handled.) It feels good to be this relaxed. It’s been too rare. That’s on me, though, for sure – that’s not about “work” in any way. I tend to be wound a bit tight, is all. It’s likely not healthy. This moment to really breathe, to let it all go quite properly, to take leisurely morning hikes with my camera, to come home in the middle of the morning and make home made breakfast sandwiches for brunch with my partner, to take my time with a new book… all of it matters. This is life being lived. There’s room in that for work – there sort of has to be; life can be fucking expensive and having a bit of cash flow is handy.

Now, if I’m wise I’ll seek ways to hang on to some of this when I return to work. If I’m thoughtful and studious about the verbs involved, I may even succeed! I wonder what the future holds…