Archives for category: Logic & Reason
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Bruh. How’d You F* That Up??

March 16, 2025 //
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Some thoughts about things to do with being, becoming, and connecting with people (that I’ve mostly learned the hard way):

  • Chronic negativity isn’t “humor”, nor is it a useful way to connect.
  • An uncomfortable forced laugh is less engaging than authenticity, even when that means admitting “I don’t get it”.
  • Constantly complaining about common experiences doesn’t make a person sound cool, edgy, worldly or sophisticated.
  • I haven’t been everywhere. I haven’t done everything. I don’t know all there is to know about every topic of conversation.
  • It’s a safe bet that I have something to learn, and that listening may reveal things I don’t know.
  • A lot of things aren’t about me at all. Some experiences aren’t for me. I won’t be welcome in every space. This isn’t something that needs to be “fixed”.
  • Being annoying results in being alone. A lot. (And not missed even a little bit.) It’s just not fun to be around – definitely behavior to be avoided.
  • Consideration is often overlooked and very underrated, and when practiced consistently and sincerely can seem like a super power.
  • Manners still matter.
  • Intimidation is a “cheat code” in life, and although people around someone who practices intimidation may be willing to exploit that behavior, they don’t like the person who behaves that way, except maybe in spite of it.
  • Good character has lasting value and creates a stable foundation in relationships.
  • Some people are mired in their anger (it has become a practice more than an emotion), taking that personally is neither healthy nor helpful. Being that person is a poor choice with lasting consequences.
  • Hard decisions can slow me down. It’s worth considering other opinions and new options. Ultimately the choices I make are mine, and so are the consequences. It helps to ask questions and reflect on the answers.
  • Learning is a practice. Self-care is a practice. Listening is a practice. Consideration is a practice. Respect is a practice. Authenticity is a practice. It’s all practice. There are verbs involved. Work. Effort. Self-reflection. Commitment. Getting anywhere worth going happens in increments, over time.
  • We can choose change. We can choose to become the human being we most want to be. Ultimately we are responsible for who we are, and who we choose to become.

There are some seriously unpleasant, annoying people in the world. People who lack manners and consideration. People who are unkind, mean, petty, and (or) intimidating (sometimes for personal gain, sometimes purely as a matter of poor character). It’s worth doing my best not to be one of those people, and to do my best every day to be the person I most want to be. I’m not critizing you or telling you how to live, just sharing some of my own thoughts about my own life, things I’ve learned, things I’ve observed over time, things I still struggle with. Doing better today than I did yesterday isn’t easy; it takes work. Honest self-reflection. A willingness to change.

… Trust me, I’m not smug about any of this shit. I’m working my ass off to be the person I most want to be, to learn from my mistakes, and to do better today than I did yesterday – every day.

…

It was afternoon when I wrote those words. I was in pain. I slacked off some housekeeping in favor of self-care. Choices. Did it help? I don’t know. I got through another day, and held on to enough energy to cook a good meal. It was enough.

The darkness before dawn.

It’s a new day, now. I’m still in pain – I nearly always am. I’m not saying that to complain, and I’m not alone with that experience. Chronic pain is pretty common, actually. Learning to enjoy life in spite of it can be a pretty difficult journey (a lot of the really worthwhile things in life are difficult). My results vary.

I woke this morning already uncomfortable and in an unpleasant mood. No idea why, really. Maybe just dealing with pain has that result, sometimes. I feel cross with myself, with the world, with the seemingly endless list of shit that needs doing. I’m tired of all of it before I even get started…

I breathe, exhale, and relax, as I sit at the trailhead waiting for enough daylight to walk the trail easily. I don’t feel like walking in the dark this morning. I remind myself to let small shit go, and not to take things personally. I take my morning medication and sip my coffee and watch the moon set through the clouds.

When my mind wanders back to things that irritate me, I bring myself back to here, now, this moment. I make a point of practicing gratitude; it’s exceedingly hard for discontent and irritability to compete with gratitude, and I do have much to be grateful for. The internal resistance to letting my mood improve and allowing myself to enjoy a better experience is frustratingly persistent, but I keep at it. We become what we practice. It won’t always be easy to follow this path, but it is a choice available to me, and it’s the choice I make. My results vary, and there are verbs involved, but over time the outcome is predictably good.

Every day is a new beginning. My path is paved with my choices. The journey is the destination – and the clock is ticking. It’s time to begin again.

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Categories Allegories, anger, Anxiety, Brain Injury, breathe, Free Will, Frustration, gratitude, Healthy Living, joy, Logic & Reason, meditation, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, more than a little bit of bitching, Oregon Trails, pain, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Practices, Relationships, solo hiking, The Art of Being, Words

An Apple A Day

March 13, 2025 //
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I’m sipping my coffee and doing specific work that requires an occasional “proper break” to step away and give my mind a rest. It exposes me to some poor behavior human beings are sometimes prone to: dishonesty, entitlement, poor character, scams, frauds, and general terrible behavior. I sigh quietly and stare out into the sky, mostly blue, hints of the gray clouds that covered the sky earlier as they shred and drift away. Good and bad, this is a very human experience.

I remind myself that “one bad apple” may “spoil the barrel”, but it doesn’t ruin the entire harvest. Just saying – don’t let a single bad apple discourage you from enjoying the fruits of the tree. There’s more to humanity than any one bad actor. There’s more to people than the terrible behavior of some few. The bad character of one individual is not the measure of a population, or a culture. Shitty human beings doing terrible things are by far the rarity, and like “one bad apple” in a barrel, closely connected to other apples by proximity or association, rot may spread – but out in the open, among many, in the light of day? That rot doesn’t spread so far or so fast. One bad apple from a single tree in a vast orchard hardly counts for much. Move on and taste sweeter fruit!

I smile to myself. I’m enjoying the metaphor. It’s nearly Spring. There is blue sky overhead and gardening to do (metaphorically, and in practical terms). I enjoy my coffee, and my break, before I begin again. Terrible human beings and those merely “of poor character” are not worth taking personally, but it’s ideal to avoid them, whenever possible. I think about the world, about my place in it, and about “being the change” – and being the best version of myself I know how to be. I can do better than yesterday, today, and better still tomorrow. I’ll just keep beginning again.

Each step along this path has been worthy in it’s own distinct way, although I don’t always see it at the time I take the step.

The journey is the destination. I’ll stay on my path.

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Categories Allegories, breathe, Free Will, gardening, Logic & Reason, meditation, Metaphors, Moments, Perspective, Practices, Spring, The Art of Being

Stupid Comes for Us All

March 11, 2025 //
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There’s no escaping “stupid” – it’s going to catch up with you, and you’re going to be that stupid person, at least now and then (I know this from experience). No exceptions. No escape. Stupid isn’t really about being “unintelligent” or “uneducated” or any particular cognitive difference or difficulty. So… What is “stupid” and why do I see it the way I do?

…I’m no expert on this. There are experts. Bonhoeffer (his text here). Cipolla (summary on Wikipedia here). Others. Read a book. Maybe this one. Or… this one.

Stop assuming you know every-fucking-thing. You just don’t. I 100% promise you that this is true; you do not know everything, about anything. There is too much to know. However smart you think you are, you are less smart than that. (Before you smugly assume I’m talking to that person over there that you think should find this relevant? I’m talking to you. Work on you. Let them work on them. I’ll work on me. If we’re all working on minimizing our own risk of stupidity, we may actually get somewhere.)

…So…

What can save you (or me, or anyone) from stupidity? It’s a good question, and I may have a helpful thought on that, though I hesitate to call it “the answer” (or even “an answer”). Curiosity. Curiosity, observation, and an openness to a “growth mindset” is a good path to avoiding the pitfalls of stupidity. (Assumptions are a shortcut directly to maxing out your stupidity.) There’s an article about that here, from the Harvard Business School. It has a handy graphic in it:

Brain rot is a real enough concern. Hopefully you can avoid making that tragic situation worse by by making an actual effort to think for yourself, asking questions, testing your assumptions, exploring new ideas with real curiosity, and avoiding foolish assumptions that you know more than you do. (The smarter you think you are, the greater the likelihood that you’re a colossal dumbass!)

Seriously. Don’t add to the stupid people in the world – there are already way too many. Sooner or later, stupid will catch up to you now and then, but for fucks’ sake don’t chase it. Pursue a growth mindset. Be a student of life – yes, and even in your own “area of expertise” whatever that may be. I promise you there is always more to learn. Stupid people are supremely annoying to have to deal with. Try not to be one of those.

Why am I writing about this today? Well… because there are a surplus of stupid people doing stupid things, and we’re all very much at risk right now of having front row seats to the decline of civilization as a direct result of stupid people being given actual power. Quite terrifying, really, and I kind of hope that maybe by saying it out loud, someone will think about it with some measure of care and do the needful to reduce their own stupidity, thereby improving humanity’s chance of survival in some small way… (wishful thinking probalby; if you’re stupid you won’t think any of this applies to you, however much it may).

So… are you ready to begin again? Ready to face your next challenge with curiosity, a growth mindset, prepared to learn, and willing to listen? It’s time to take that next step forward… the clock is ticking.

Every sunrise is a chance to begin again.
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Categories breathe, Frustration, inspiration, Logic & Reason, meditation, Moments, more than a little bit of bitching, Perspective, Practices, Relationships, The Art of Being, The Big 5, War and News of War, Words

It’s the Change, Not the Time

March 9, 2025 //
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The clock says 06:14, and I’m sitting at the trailhead waiting for daybreak. Daylight Savings Time began, again, today. I dislike DST fiercely. I don’t think that is unreasonable; twice yearly my timing and my body are given an additional helping of chaos and discomfort for no good reason. The seasons are what they are. DST doesn’t actually change the length of a day. The change to the clocks, though, is legitimately disruptive.

I set my alarm this morning, rather cleverly I thought, for 05:45 – an hour later than usual, so, for the usual time. It’s a Sunday, and I have no need to be up earlier. Figured I’d give myself a break from the chaos and start dealing with it on the other end of the day. The clock said 05:00 when I woke to… a noise? The sound of a voice, puzzled or bewildered? Something. Shit. Okay, I went ahead and dragged myself through my routine, although my body and brain insisted it was only 04:00 and I could have tried to sleep a bit longer. I was awake, for most values of “awake”. (Ah, DST, my old nemesis, you got me again!)

… I don’t actually care that I’m up so early. I often am…

I’ve got plenty of time.

As I drove up the road, I caught a glimpse of the moon half full, low on the horizon and quite huge. Beautiful and strangely golden in hue, I was tempted to pull over and watch her set, but chose to drive on. I regretted my choice almost immediately, it was just that beautiful and rare a sight to see. The morning is peculiarly spooky at the trailhead. There is a clear sky overhead, planets twinkling, shining brightly enough to be visible in spite of the glare of urban lights below, and there’s a dense mist clinging low to the ground here at the edge of the marsh. It’s an interesting effect. Chilly morning. I sit waiting quietly, feeling sort of sleepy, thinking thoughts.

I sit with my thoughts, sipping the coffee I picked up on the way, grateful to have it. Grateful for the quiet moment. Grateful generally, if I’m being honest. I’ve got a list of things to do later, but none of it needs my attention now, and I’m not in much pain today, so far. Win. I meditate. Sip my coffee. Let these quiet minutes tick by gently. I watch the sky begin to lighten ever so slowly as the mist thickens, obscuring other details.

Daybreak comes.

I breathe, exhale, and relax. Soon enough, it will be time to begin again.

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Categories Allegories, Brain Injury, breathe, Frustration, gratitude, health, Logic & Reason, meditation, Metaphors, Moments, more than a little bit of bitching, Perspective, Practices, Sleepless Nights, solo hiking, Spring, The Art of Being

Something On My Mind

February 26, 2025 //
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I’m sipping coffee and feeling irritated by something I read. I decide not to rant about it, and sit quietly reflecting on it instead. Words can come later. It makes sense to “get my head right” before I start blathering foolishly about something I’ve had an emotional reaction to, but about which I lack clarity of thought. All in good time, eh? Other voices can lead with emotions, I’ll sit this one out for a time.

… This is sometimes a difficult choice to make…

I breathe, exhale, and relax. I’ve taken the day off work to handle a project with the help of the Anxious Adventurer, wrapping up the move of household goods between storage units. The clock is ticking, but there’s only the largest items left, and we’ve got a truck for all that. Soon. For now, I sit with my coffee and my thoughts.

I am thinking about language, and the way it functions, which is to say “by agreement”. Without a shared understanding of the definitions of terms being used, there is no reliably good communication. No “understanding”. How often do you pause a contentious conversation to clarify the meanings of key words and phrases? How often do you verify that you and those you are conversing with have a shared understanding of what words mean? Conmen, grifters, “marketing experts”, and all manner of manipulative individuals, rely on the likelihood that we can be persuaded to think or behave in some useful way based on what we thought we understood them to have said, without clearly understanding what they actually meant by the words they used. Just saying it’s generally a good idea to check in on such things, to verify shared understanding of words being used, and to avoid being misled by misused language.

I watch daybreak arrive, thinking my thoughts. Lovely quiet morning, so far. Soon enough it will be time to begin again. Already.

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Categories Allegories, breathe, Free Will, Logic & Reason, meditation, Moments, Perspective, Practices, The Art of Being, Words
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