Archives for posts with tag: cultivate contentment

All along the trail, flowers are blooming. Mostly trees and shrubs, it is too early for roses and other summer-flowering things. The sunrise begins as an orange smudge on the horizon, Venus very bright in the morning sky. I catch a glimpse of what I think was the ISS, and smile. What an amazing feat of science, technology, engineering, professional commitment, and diplomacy! I guess, considering the way things are going these days, it makes sense that it is nearing the end of its expected usefulness.

Pear blossoms (at the edge of my garden)

Holy shit, when did human beings become so terrible? Has humanity always been actually awful, or has it been just those few monsters in our midst making things dreadful for everyone? We’ve really got to stop electing terrible people with malicious intentions to powerful positions. It’s not a reliable means to creating a good world in which people can thrive together. It’s frankly unpleasant and horrifying. We should probably really consider what we teach young people that so many arrive at adulthood lacking critical thinking skills or basic ethics.

I shake my head and keep walking.

Cherry blossoms and hedge flowers.

The trail takes me past a small chapel. This part of the path passes by a parking lot, and is paved and lit. It wanders through tall oak trees. These grow tall and quite narrow, being so close together.

Oregon White Oaks

I keep walking until I reach my halfway point and sit for a little while, avoiding my thoughts, spending time simply taking in my surroundings. I breathe, exhale, and relax. I listen to the robins singing their morning songs. I can hear the nearby creek and the distant traffic. A chipmunk approaches hesitantly before darting away. The sky is filled with the light of dawn and sunrise, and the hills to the west are hues of subtle blues. The rows of grape vines in the vineyard that the trail wraps as it heads into denser trees towards the creek are becoming more visible and the artificial lights I can still see from here are beginning to go out, section by section. The air smells of Spring. It’s a lovely quiet moment and I have the trail to myself.

Here comes the sun.

I sit awhile longer with my thoughts. Too soon the world will catch up with me; it’s a work day, and a busy one. I already know my calendar is full and my task list is long. I sigh quietly. Could be worse. I’m fortunate, and I am grateful for my opportunities. I’m not complaining about the burdens that come with them. I’m just not ready to get started. I’m enjoying this moment.

Enjoying the moment

I smile to myself when I remember (again) that I am working from home today. I can take my breaks in my garden, and enjoy lunch with my Traveling Partner. The clock is always ticking, and it’s important to enjoy the moments we have together. There’s no knowing what the future may hold. I take another breath of the Spring-scented air. It’s time to begin again.

It’s a new day. What will you do with it?

It’s raining at the trailhead. Still dark, too. I decide to give it a few minutes. Maybe the rain will stop? I’m here earlier than I planned, anyway. My wakeful Traveling Partner woke me early with his wakefulness, and rather than keep him awake once I was awake, I dressed and made coffee and slipped away into the predawn drizzle.

… Now I wait…

We chat online for a few minutes, before my beloved returns to bed, and hopefully to sleep. The morning is quiet and calm. The rain is misty and not enough to prevent me from walking. The morning is a pleasantly mild one, the temperature a relatively comfortable 42°F. I had dressed for freezing weather; I’m definitely comfortable. The misty droplets covering the windshield glitter like scattered gems as passing headlights sweep over them from the nearby highway. Pretty.

… Nice morning…

The holiday shopping is done. Too late to change any of that now, although there are still packages arriving and gifts to wrap. There are still holiday sweets to buy for stockings and groceries to buy for holiday meals. So much yet be to do, but things also feel somehow “done”. Ready. There’s a plan in place and that’s enough. I feel content and mostly comfortable. The only discomfort I do have is purely physical and there’s nothing much to do about that besides taking care of myself properly. I double-check my shopping list to confirm I’d added capsaicin patches; they help some and I’m nearly out.

This is all such mundane stuff, isn’t it? It’s also enough. More than enough maybe; I feel fortunate. I do work at it – at the contentment and the quiet joy. I work at embracing sufficiency (chasing excess has only ever hurt me). I work at achieving and maintaining perspective. I work at non-attachment and at not taking shit personally. There are verbs involved, and practice, and my results vary – but over time I find myself quietly calm, contented, and joyful so much more often, I might even say these feelings have become characteristic of my day-to-day experience. That’s a pretty profound change from chaos, misery, and madness. There are few manic highs, these days. Abysmal dark lows are also very very rare. Mostly, things are pleasantly… ordinary. I don’t need the excitement of a rollercoaster ride in my emotional life. lol

… I sit quietly sipping my coffee, not quite waiting for the sun, just waiting…

My results will definitely vary. This is a very human experience. Moments are moments, and some of them are difficult. I’m okay. I’m here, now. I breathe, exhale, and relax. Practicing the practices. Beginning again.

In spite of my dreadful headache yesterday, and a brief moment of temper between my Traveling Partner and I, yesterday was quite  a good day. We enjoyed each other. Got some stuff done individually and together. Hung out. Shared meals. Laughed together. A good day.

Again today my allergies (tree pollen specific to the area) are vexing me, but I am grateful that the headache I had yesterday is gone. That’s a big deal for such a small thing.  Another work day, and already it feels as if I have been back awhile, although it’s only the second work shift since my camping trip. lol Funny how time (and our sense of it) works.

The sunrise had already gotten going by the time I left the house. Sunrise comes early this time of year. I happily hit the trail feeling comfortable and strong  which is a good feeling. I’m glad I remembered to shove some tissues into my pocket,  but aside from the minor inconvenience of seasonal allergies, it’s a lovely morning to be walking in the sunshine. It lights the leaves and blades of grass. The colors change as the sun rises. Earlier, a mist clung to low spots, now little birds hop and peck in the grass. I walk on, finally taking a seat on a bench at my halfway point to reflect and write a few words. My fingers feel the chill of morning, but the morning isn’t particularly chilly.

I sigh with a smile, enjoying the moment just as it is. I sit with my thoughts awhile.

I look over my calendar for the day. Routine.  One detail of working from home that I really value is the greater ease and convenience of getting things done. Running all the errands after a work day is insanely fatiguing. Working them into the day easily because I am near home is handy, and holds so much less potential to find that I have overextended myself! So, work and a couple errands? No problem. Easy.

I sit in the sunshine a little longer. It’s just about time to begin again…

It’s early, but the sun is already up, and the sun rise is almost over by the time I get to my desk. I’m not running late, it’s just the changing season. I enjoy the variety, and take a moment to watch the evolving glow reflected in the windows of other buildings. Variety is certainly something I appreciate. This morning, that pleasure in going beyond “the routine” makes itself obvious in my choice of breakfast. I’ve been having a very high protein breakfast, lately, usually hard-boiled eggs, maybe with a small salad of mixed greens or spinach. This morning I’m having oatmeal with nuts and fresh fruit. The ventilation comes on, and I “enjoy” my breakfast with a side of sneezes – seasonal allergies. The trees are all in bloom, and the pollen eventually makes its way into the ventilation system. It is what it is. It’s not personal, it’s just… one of the weeds in the garden of life, I suppose. lol

The weekend was a lovely one, spent in the garden, and in the good company of my Traveling Partner. Time well-spent.

Some species of wild geranium is a very common weed in my garden.

I spent some of my time weeding various flower beds and around the base of some roses, and a small oak. The weed most often catching my eye is some kind of geranium. There are several, and without taking real time to study the features of this one, it’s hard to narrow it down. Invasive, sure. Commonplace, definitely. Mostly harmless, probably. Like a lot of weeds, it’s only a problem because it isn’t what I want to see growing in some particular spot. I pulled a bunch of them out, and tossed them in the yard debris bin, surprised to see that it is already almost full (for the first time this year).

I think about “the weeds” in my metaphorical garden (this life). Here, too, it’s sometimes hard to make an easy distinction between what is a “weed” and what is simply a wildflower growing in a less than ideal location. I think that over for awhile, sipping my coffee, and eating my oatmeal while I watch the sun rise. Because variety in life (and our experiences) is generally a good thing, it makes sense to approach ripping out our “weeds” with a certain bit of caution, and a sense of consideration – what makes a weed? Is there no lasting value to the things we consider “rooting out” of our experience? In the garden, and in life, there are definitely some scenarios in which the “weedkiller” of choice is more toxic than the displaced wildflower that seems so unwelcome in the moment… just something to think about. Certainly, it makes sense to eradicate the “toxic plants” in our metaphorical garden, just as it makes sense to maintain walking paths, stepping stones, flower beds, and structures with care and a sense of aesthetic. There is work to gardening, and to living life (well). The effort pays off in more substantial harvests of better quality, and the joy of simply being in the garden on a lovely Spring day. The flowers are worth a pause, to enjoy the scent, the colors, and the textures. Around every corner is a new perspective, a new angle of light, a new moment of wonder to embrace and enjoy. This is true in the garden and in life.

…The thing is, if we put so much time and care into creating and maintaining our garden, then only “see” it as we exit the car and head into the house, or leave the house for some other destination, without making time to simply enjoy the garden, itself, we miss out on much of the entire point of gardening, in the first place. This too, is true in life as well as in the garden…

So… I guess I’m saying, in spite of the busy-ness of adult life, and the demands placed upon me by work, and home, and responsibilities, and goals… I do myself a tremendous favor by slowing down to really enjoy the journey. To stroll through life’s garden, smelling the flowers and enjoying the sunshine, is the point of having the garden (well, and maybe also growing food). It’s not really there for show, or to impress the neighbors, or while away the weekend hours “staying busy”… it’s there to delight, to offer respite, to present small wonders, and a moment to breathe the scents of Spring and find joy (and harvest tasty vegetables).

…I sip my coffee, and think about my garden – and my life…

Rose “Sweet Chariot” – and some weeds.

There’s so much to do. So much to put time, effort, and thought into. So many projects I would like to get to. So many paintings I’ve yet to paint, and books I still want to read. The journey is the destination – in life and in the garden. Is my garden perfect? Hell no. lol I’ve got weeds. I’ve got bare spots. I’ve also got… flowers, vegetables, and sunshine. No, my life isn’t “perfect” and neither is my garden – but it’s mine, and it’s worth my time, consideration, and enjoyment. There’s more to do, but there’s no point rushing – I’m already “here”, wherever “here” is, and there’s plenty of time to begin again.

I type the word “pieces” into the title field, and immediately get distracted wondering why it appears to be misspelled. That’s the way of things sometimes, isn’t it? We puzzle over things that are not especially puzzling, mislead by a mistake in our thinking, or an erroneous “observation”. It’s pretty human that we do this – we are imperfect creatures with a persistent notion of being “better than” other creatures in some noteworthy way. lol

My coffee is good this morning. It’s a quiet Saturday. I had planned to sleep in. My Traveling Partner woke me. All good; he woke me sufficiently late in the morning to totally count as having slept in, and truly there is a new day ahead and plenty to do. It was nice to start the day with a few minutes of meditation, then coffee together until the point at which he began finding me less comfortable to hang out with (perhaps due to my fidgeting, or perhaps the pattern of my breathing had become irregular making affinity behaviors uncomfortable, or perhaps nothing really to do with me at all, but nonetheless ascribed to something to do with me). I give him some room to breathe, and take my coffee into the studio.

As soon as I sit down at my desk I feel uplifted and lighthearted; my Traveling Partner built this lovely space for me. Well, I mean – it’s a room in our house, and he outfitted it with this desk, built my computer, and installed the acoustic treatments. So, yeah. He had a lot to do with this space that wraps me in comfort and inspiration. The paintings on the walls are mine. I am surrounded by things that encourage and delight me. It’s an important space in my home – and in my experience. A piece of a bigger puzzle.

There are so many “pieces” in being this human primate that I am. My love of writing. My compulsion to do so. My willingness to share it. My fondness for my partner. My delight in this home. The enjoyment I take from the sound of rain. The pleasure I find in a cup of coffee – down to the coffee beans, and the cup itself even. I can spread the pieces out quite far and find value in distant forest trails, paths that wander the edges of a marsh, or suburban sidewalks that meander through neighborhoods filled with other human primates living other lives. I can focus on quite tiny details and find myself in the sensation of bare feet on carpet, deck, or lawn, and the sensation of fabric on skin.

There is so much joy and pleasure to be had in a single human lifetime. It’s easy to overlook all that when things go wrong and when I face challenges. There’s sorrow in this life, too. Pain. Hurt feelings. Lost opportunities. Vast choices such that the mind is overwhelmed and shortcuts just feel… easier. There’s so much to learn, and so many things to fail at before mastering anything at all. In years that I have focused too much on the difficulties, the joy in my life was diminished and life was dismal. In years when I have focused on hedonistic pleasures with a devil-may-care disregard for any moment but “now”, I’ve failed to grow as a human being – and also somehow failed to thrive. I find it a peculiar balancing act to find a comfortable middle ground, somehow settling on seeking calm, contentment, and joy – without “chasing” happiness. It seems to come to me often enough when I take this approach, though, so… I’m good with it. 🙂

I’m rarely deeply unhappy anymore. It’s been a long journey. It’s not over. I still struggle with the hardships I face. I still have challenges and fight the internal battles with my personal demons daily. It’s a worthwhile endeavor – and the conviction that this is the case is one major victory among many. I’ve come so far! Sure, I still have some rough days. Still struggle to get adequate restful sleep. Still have nightmares. Still have this headache, and this arthritis. Still deal with lasting effects of early life trauma, my TBI, my PTSD – but what a difference it has made to select my partnership(s) with more care, and to properly take care of myself! Meditation has proven to be a long-term value. Simple health-improving steps have also “given back” more than it feels like I have had to put in. Totally worth the “effort” to drink more water, to take my medications on time, to eat a calorie-and-portion managed nutritious diet, and get more exercise. Hell, those things are working out so well, I’m motivated to “do more better” and take things further. I keep practicing.

Nothing fancy or particularly unusual about today. It’s just another day. A sunny weekend Saturday with no explicit agenda unfolds ahead of me. Where will my path lead? If it’s not too chilly, it might be a good day to do some garden prep and tidy up spaces for Spring… Certainly looks like a lovely one to get a nice walk in, too. Maybe I’ll paint? I could work on my manuscript. I could bake some cookies, or finish tidying up and reorganizing the library (which is also our guest room, and presently a bit cluttered). What I do with the time is actually less important than that I do something, and that I treat myself and my partner well. The quality of the experience matters to the outcomes. I reflect on that and sip my coffee.

It’s a lovely day to begin again. What will I do with it?