Archives for posts with tag: cure for pain

Breathe Through It

August 3, 2020 //

I woke up groggy and in pain. My Traveling Partner, strangely, was already up. I made coffee, and retreated to my studio to wake up and get my shit together before interacting with the world – or my partner. Pain makes me super cranky, and fairly pre-occupied, which is both commonplace and also total bullshit (to have to deal with). I sip my coffee and look at pictures of flowers in nursery catalogs online. I am thinking about Spring, although it is quite a way off, on the other side of a winter that is not yet here, beyond a summer that has only barely started. lol Long-range planning makes for an excellent distraction.

I know that at some point, this coffee will be finished, and a new work day will begin. Sometime, between this moment and that one, I may soak in the hot tub and try to ease the aches and pain of arthritis and middle-aged-ness. It’s a lovely way to start the day (and week). A helpful luxury that has reduced the amount of pain I’m in, day-to-day. I’m grateful for that, and grateful for a partner that knows how to care for the hot tub (and is teaching me the things I need to know to do so, myself).

Pain sucks. I straighten my posture, and take a deep breath. I exhale, and relax, and allow my awareness of things that don’t hurt to become more prominent in my experience of self, right now. It’s not a cure for pain, but it helps, some. Later, if it is still this bad, I’ll take something for it, before I start the work day. One thing at a time… and next? I’ll just begin again. 🙂

Tags begin again, breathe, cure for pain, emotional self sufficiency, good self-care, MBSR, my results vary, perspective, practicing the practices, sufficiency, taking care of me, The Art of Being, there are verbs involved

Categories Allegories, gratitude, health, Mindfulness, Moments, more than a little bit of bitching, Perspective, Practices, Relationships, Summer

A Wee Slice of Life With My Coffee

September 23, 2019 //

This morning, I am sipping my coffee and contemplating the new “view” in my studio. My Traveling Partner installed some lovely acrylic shelves for me, and my space is more organized, which has altered the view – and in some sense, also my perspective. I am enjoying the expectation-defying moment greatly; I had forgotten about the change during the night, and it struck me as surprising and delightful when I saw it this morning. 🙂

I head into the office after four very pleasant days away, spent taking care of myself, and enjoying the company of my partner. It’s been deliciously restful, and wonderfully satisfying. There’s not much else to say about it, it wasn’t fancy or particularly noteworthy, nor was the time spent in a remarkable or novel way; it was time spent wrapped in love, at home, and it was lovely. I allow myself a moment to notice that I just commented that time spent wrapped in love is not novel (for me, now), and I smile. It was a long journey to this place, paved with verbs and uncomfortable moments. A worthy journey. 🙂

I don’t know what the day ahead holds. I’m okay with that amount of uncertainty. 🙂 (Took some time to get here, too. lol) It is what it is. I’ll try not to let the verbs pile up unnecessarily. 🙂

…It’s already time to begin again. I guess I’m okay with that, too. 😀

Tags autumnal equinox, be here now, begin again, choose differently, cure for pain, down time, I'm okay with it, living well by choice, Love First, order from chaos, ptsd, saying yes and, taking care of me, TBI, there are verbs involved, walking my own path, we become what we practice, what will you do with the opportunity ahead?

Categories Allegories, autumn, Brain Injury, Free Will, gratitude, Healthy Living, Love, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Practices, Relationships, The Art of Being, The Big 5, Uncategorized

Best Rx for Pain, Ever!

June 5, 2019 //

Well…actually, no. I woke up in pain this morning, just like I went to bed in pain last night. I’m still smiling, still mostly merry, and definitely not taking it personally, at this present moment, which is a pleasant detail. The peculiar pre-dawn gloom has begun to lift, and even though it’s not yet 5:00 am, there is sufficient light to see the garden. I take my coffee on the deck, and spend a few minutes listening to birdsong and breezes, before the commuter traffic begins to take over.

…Soon enough, a new work day will begin…

The blue skies aren’t my doing; how I choose to face the day, is.

I sip my coffee and sigh contentedly. Another day ahead. I’m good with that. 🙂 I take a moment for meditation, less out of any hope of significant pain relief, more about being emotionally well for the day ahead. Yesterday was a long day, and by the end I was struggling to manage my pain, and very happy to get home. I’m back to having a pretty steady motherfucker of a headache, on top of my arthritis pain, in addition to my torn up ankle… still have to work, still have to stand up to the day-to-day. Hell, even if I didn’t work full-time, I’d be having to tackle the effort involved in routine self-care. LOL Aging sucks.

…It’s better than the only currently available alternative, though, right? 😉 I take a moment for gratitude.

A quiet moment passes. Breathing in. Breathing out. Letting go of the clinging and bullshit attachments. Another breath. Another moment. Another sip of my coffee.

Yesterday’s sunshine has a lingering effect; I find it in my smile, in a relaxed moment.

I remind myself not to leave my cane behind as I prepare for the day. Still yawning, still rubbing sleep out of my eyes, still reminiscing about the rather shitty night’s sleep just behind me, and the long work day ahead; it’ll feel long, regardless, that’s how pain works, and I’ve yielded to it before the day has begun. I shake it off, and let that shit go. I remind myself to speak gently, and be mindful we are each having our own experience – pain isn’t unique to my experience. We could all use a bit of kindness.

There’s quite a bit to be learned from yesterday’s experience. This morning, I find myself present in this moment, here, and I’m okay with that. I quash that weird “what am I forgetting to do??” sensation as likely just an illusory disruption in my senses, and I move on from that, too. I take some deep breaths, and make a point of just… letting shit go. This? I let it go. That? Yep, that, too, I let that go. Over there? Oh, hell, yes. Gone. 🙂

…Another breath. A glance at the clock. I finish my coffee; it’s time to begin again. 😀

Tags be here now, be the change, breathe, choose wisely, cure for pain, emotional self sufficiency, good self-care, meditation, mindfulness for beginners, perspective, practicing the practices, ptsd, taking care of me, TBI, The Art of Being, there are verbs involved, walking my own path, we become what we practice

Categories Brain Injury, Free Will, gratitude, Healthy Living, Mindfulness, Moments, more than a little bit of bitching, pain, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Practices, Spring, Summer, The Art of Being

Well This Sucks…

April 24, 2019 //

This morning I hurt. I woke with such a shitty headache, and neck pain. Did I sleep on my neck wrong? Maybe… I hurt. I know that.

Meditation? Sure. Still hurts. Stretching? Yoga? Yep. Hurts. Take something for that? Okay, fine. Still hurts. I put on my headphones and play the only song that makes sense right now. I scroll through the news, looking for a distraction. No luck, still hurts. Fucking hell. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I sip my coffee, and remind myself it’ll take time for the pain relief available through OTC measures to kick in. I start the song over. lol I remind myself to correct my posture, knowing that will also help. I remind myself that small incremental improvements eventually add up, and remind myself not to dismiss the seeming ineffectiveness of measures taken that seem to have little effect – again, it all adds up.

…Doesn’t it?…

I sip my coffee and consider the situation from a larger quality-of-life perspective; even those steps I take that don’t provide a “cure for pain” are genuinely improvements in overall quality of life, nonetheless. Why would I allow petty frustration with a headache put those out of reach based on a fairly subjective measure of their effectiveness (which is to say, immediate substantial pain relief of this fucking headache right here/now)?

…I still have a fucking headache…

…Well, but on the other hand, there’s not much else to bitch about, just at the moment, life is pretty good. So. There’s that, right?

Maybe if I begin again…? I change up the music.

Tags be here now, be the change, begin again, choose wisely, cure for pain, emotional self sufficiency, good self-care, I am my own cartographer, meditation, mindfulness matters, perspective, practicing the practices, sufficiency, taking care of me, there are verbs involved, we become what we practice, what matters most?

Categories Free Will, Frustration, gratitude, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, pain, Perspective, Post Traumatic Stress, Practices, Spring

Taking a Moment for the Mountain

January 23, 2018 //

Mt McLoughlin, Oregon

I am sitting quietly, looking over the most recent pictures from the most recent trip of the most recent weekend. I’m feeling a bit “homesick”, though my home isn’t yet there, and the future is an unknown. I love the sight of the mountain.

Better than television.

I spend time considering whether I will be fit enough for the hike to the summit this year. It’s a hike I think I’d like to take. It seems the sort of thing for terrifically early in the morning on a long long summer day. My thoughts wander with the pictures.

From just a couple weeks ago.

I hurt a great deal tonight, but I’ve got another doctor’s appointment coming up. Fuck middle age. Fuck aging. Fuck pain. lol I guess I’m fortunate to get to find out how fucked aging is, though. The current alternatives are seriously limited. It’s just harder to enjoy my experience filtered through pain; pain narrows my focus, and shrinks my world. Through discomfort I find myself losing perspective. I’m not mad about it, and I’m not giving myself any shit over it, just aware that I hurt enough to be more focused on that, than not, and likely to be cross or short with people, and maybe a little stupid here or there, just being distracted by pain.

I know the drill. I sigh as I sort it out in my head. Some yoga. Physical therapy. Strength training. A big drink of water. A leisurely hot shower. It’s not a cure for pain, but I’ll feel better – and in treating myself well, taking care of me the best I am able to, and feeling even a bit better, I’ll regain some perspective, and enjoy this experience more.

…I’ll probably still be homesick for the mountain. lol 🙂

Tags are you going my way?, be here now, be the change, breathe, choose wisely, cure for pain, emotional self sufficiency, experience, good self-care, I am my own cartographer, MBSR, meditation, mindful living, mindfulness, mindfulness matters, perspective, practicing the practices, sufficiency, taking care of me, TBI, The Art of Being, The Big 5, the map is not the world, there are verbs involved, walking my own path, what matters most?

Categories Brain Injury, Free Will, health, Healthy Living, loneliness, Metaphors, Mindfulness, Moments, Oregon Trails, pain, Perspective, Relationships, solo hiking, Summer, The Art of Being, The Big 5, winter